AIBU to feel that Christmas is not fun as an adult?

[Swissnotswiss]

And if I'm unreasonable, tell me your tips!

I'm not usually so bah humbug but this year with everything that's going on including lack of money it just seems overwhelming. I've been looking through Christmas magazines (big mistake!) and slowly realised that if I want decorations, nice food, kids to have presents etc it's going to be literally hours and hours of work and I just feel defeated. Anyone relate? And no, dh isn't terrible but he literally would not bother with anything Christmassy and we always host as for various reasons (health, space) noone else can.

I can see why you'd feel that way. But do you not have decorations from past years that you can reuse? That's free. Maybe you could ask people to pitch in a few pounds per person so that you could continue hosting?

It will be scaled back

You don't need all the extra tat for a good time. Those days if 'magic' are gone

It honestly feels flat and dull in the shops right now, no excitement seeing Xmas decs in because there's only been a 10 month gap since the same old collection was out for sale last time

I'm scaling back but of course it's not much fun for adults. It's supposed to be fun for kids and that's what makes it worth it.

How old are the kids? I personally love looking at the lights in the neighbourhood and displays in shop windows. My council normally have a light switch on which is fun and do some free trail tour activities in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

I'm one of those people that MN seem to hate that loves winter walks, being cosy indoors with something indulgent (doesn't have to be anything expensive) and watching crappy Christmas films though!

I hate it
I have tried fir years to like it to make an effort fir the kids. Truth is I've always worked in jobs where you only get the one day off so Xmas always comes with a shift the next day hanging over my head and not even for anything important like vital health care.

I long for the day I can spend it in bed with wine, a ready meal amd a movie

Don’t look at magazines! They just make you feel like you should be doing more. Work out what you want, Look at organised mum method if Christmas planning. Divide up the work earlier, between you and DH. But also your guests ask them to bring specific item eg bubbly, mince pies, trifle, crackers or whatever it is you need.

I bloody hate Christmas as an adult. Hours of work, loads of expense, lots of juggling for virtually no payback.

Yes, sorry I didn't mean buying the decorations but outing them up. I guess I just hate decorating and cooking and baking and I can't frt anyone else to help! I also have a dituation where almost all of my relatives will ask me (for usually valid reasons) to buy and wrap the kids' presents do I end up spending hours doing this and getting nothing myself except a small gift from dh which is usually something weird. 😅 We have agreed not to buy adults presents. It uust seems a lot of work for very little return. 😆To be honest, I would buy all food readymade if I could but I live abroad and it's not really possible.

I LOVE Christmas and all the preparations.
First tip is to ditch the Christmas mags! The food ideas are repetitive, the gift ideas are ridiculously expensive, ditto decorations. And whilst there are some 'real' homes where Christmas will look like that, for the majority of us Christmas is much more low key and yet still fun.
You will get far more realistic ideas and advice from the MN Christmas and food boards. There are threads about bargain presents; how to decorate your home; how to make Christmas special etc etc

Christmas doesn't have to be expensive to make it a lovely occasion.

Why don't you use this thread to help you start planning, let us know what you are struggling with, and people will offer lots of ideas to help.

Love, love, love it. But other than a tree we don’t have many decorations up. Unless the kids want to decorate or paint windows which we let them do.
we go to the local pub for Xmas eve tea, watch a Xmas movie, keep it low key even though we host.
Ignore the stupid magazines! While a lovely hand made fern thing might look lovely in our bannisters we just focus on food, time with family.

I've scaled back this year.
Even my kids aren't having that many presents, and will be having a bog standard roast. I think most people are in this situation this year, money is hard to come by right now!!

No-one cares if you handmade your own wrapping paper! I have friend couple who are always broke, their gifts are usually something like home made biscuits that they pop in a glass jar with a bit of ribbon. Thoughtful, inexpensive. And we always give the jar back after Xmas!

I love Xmas but I have always done it my own way. Just the 4 of us, no traditional Xmas food, no ridiculous overspending, no getting sucked into stuff like elf on the shelf or putting decorations up in November.
Now the dcs are adults, we go out for Xmas Dinner...again not a turkey in sight. No shit generic gifts either.

Why don't you use this thread to help you start planning, let us know what you are struggling with, and people will offer lots of ideas to help.
Kids are teenagers so I'm thinking of ditching stockings altogether. I have zero ideas for presents. Also our flat is small so feels cluttered already...hmmm....maybe I need to declutter first.

I agree it’s not fun if you do everything on your own.
How old are your DCs? I’d delegate all the decorating to them if they’re old enough.

I never enjoyed Christmas as a childless adult - hosting my mum and ILs every single year (for complex reasons I won’t go into here as could be outing) when I longed for Christmas alone with DH. Well the day itself was OK but didn’t enjoy the build up or the work aspect. Now I am retired and it is just me and DH it’s wonderful. No pressure, no stress. We are probably hosting my DB and his family just on Christmas Day but that will be fine.

I think you need to work out what is fun for you, and do that.

So if you love having decorations up, then make it decoration Sunday with the whole family, create a tradition of doing it together and always finishing with shop bought gingerbread.

I’m guessing all the present buying and wrapping on behalf of others is because you’re not in the U.K. and they are, and postage costs? Then can you switch to an Amazon wish list, and use present bags? Zero wrapping. Or just peak inside to check what’s arrived and stick a big Xmassy label on (square of wrapping paper) and lob it under the tree in original delivery box.

If you don’t like cooking and baking, then base the meal around what you can buy pre-done.

I’m sensing a touch of the martyrs here 😉

Teenagers?! 🤣
No wrapping needed at all then, if you really don’t want to.

Not a big fan either. It’s a lot of effort and I hate year after year trying to think of present ideas. Fortunately I have the money saved but no idea what to get. My teens never know what they want, I have to go to my mums, which is 5hrs away and stay for a week. The only year of my adult life I spent Christmas here at home I enjoyed it. Feel bad saying that but covid meant we had no choice but to stay in our tier 4 area! My mum never has any decorations up, as she hates Christmas. Probably why I do as it’s not something I look forward to. As it gets closer to Christmas I feel more and more stressed out

I think you need to work out what is fun for you, and do that.

I think this sums it up perfectly.

It's the feelings of obligation that are dragging you down.

If putting decorations up isn't something your family view as a fun Christmas activity, don't do it.

My siblings and I loved doing this as kids and now my DD does too. I have deliberately kept it fairly simple in our house though as I detest taking them down so basically we have a Christmas tree and otherwise just hang cards on ribbons as other decorations.

I'm with you on having to wrap presents from other people. In my case the people giving the presents could wrap them themselves but they tend to just buy stuff from Amazon and have it sent here so I have the expense both money and time wise of wrapping them which I find very irritating.

I'm not a hug fan of Christmas. We are a small family and don't live anywhere near our families, who don't have room to put us up for Christmas, so it is a very quiet and boring underwhelming day with presents and a big lunch.

However, this year as DD has now graduated, she won't have the catch up with lectures, finish assignments and revise for exams cloud hanging over her for the first time in years. And because of the way Christmas falls she will have a whole 5 days off and can come home.

We don’t have children but I’ve found Christmas as an adult just as much fun as Christmas as a child. I think you have to just lean into the magic of it all - I love how (generally) people are so much more cheerful and excited in December, I love the lights, I love the music and the films and the buzz. You can make it not stressful - we’ve gone out of our way to build some really lovely traditions that aren’t based around spending money or rushing around trying to see all our family in the space of 2 days.

I think you really have to protect your peace at Christmas - we don’t overspend, this year we won’t cook a Turkey as neither of us like it that much so it seems expensive and pointless, we won’t see family over Christmas week and will instead cosy up just the two of us. It’s about making choices for you and your family rather than because you feel you should be doing something. Find moments of calm in the festive period - we read an advent book every night of December which helps with this and maintains the excitement I used to have as a child. We also sit down on Christmas Eve with a glass of champagne and in front of the fire and read our books (we always have a new, usually festive, book for Christmas Eve.) It’s a wonderful time and you don’t need to run yourself ragged for it.

I find that Christmas is the one day when I can’t do anything I want to do because it’s all about what other members of the family want. I enjoy my son’s joy, but that’s about it. I just aim to get it over and done with so we can get back to enjoying normal life.

I understand why you feel that way - but you get the Christmas you create.

There is no compulsion to do any of it - decide what Xmas you would like.

I know it is not quite that simple as there are others involved but you can be clear that do not want a Xmas like this.