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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letter from neighbour

197 replies

CrispsAndChoc · 27/10/2022 13:57

We’ve just had a letter saying that residents of my street are fed up with us and the disruption our work vans are causing. There’s no name or door number (it was delivered by the postman) so we can’t knock and apologise. It’s made me feel awful in our new home and I don’t know what to do!

For background-we moved in earlier this year to a very run down house down a road of lovely houses. Since we moved in, we’ve had lots of work done but it’s only been one van outside and no skips. A few (maybe 6) neighbours have commented on how lovely the house is looking and that they’ve never seen anything be done to it in years.

During The last few weeks, a few jobs have accidentally overlapped and there have been more vans and a skip on the drive meaning we can’t park on it. The vans are never parked over driveways but have occasionally been opposite one which can make it difficult (but not impossible) for people to get in and out of their drive. A couple of weeks ago, a neighbour had a go at me for parking opposite her driveway and I haven’t done so since despite it being a legal parking space that others have parked in since.

The majority of the work is now finished meaning there is only one van most days but the skip is still on the drive for a few more days.

I appreciate that it’s annoying when work is being done somewhere but my thoughts are that people should realise it’s only temporary and speak to us about problems they may have so we can rectify them rather than shout or send anonymous letters. AIBU

OP posts:
Cuppasoupmonster · 27/10/2022 14:02

When you say temporary, how long has this been going on and how much longer do you think it will take? Do you have a driveway? Do the vans park there or on the road?

Isthisexpected · 27/10/2022 14:03

So many people are introverts/terrible at conflict or with neurodiversity and are regularly told to send anonymous letters on here!

Clearly it's been going on for months and making life difficult otherwise they wouldn't have got so fed up to write a letter. It can be really hard to get on and off a driveway depending on how others have parked. Could you ask your contractors to park further away sometimes?

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 27/10/2022 14:06

If they’re that bothered, they could put their name on the letter or speak to you personally. Bin it.

Testina · 27/10/2022 14:07

I’d photocopy the letter and pop it through all the houses at your end of the street with a short note pointing out that it was anonymous so letting every know you are <x days> away from finish and to just let you know if any questions. A cheery “thanks for bearing with us getting the house up to the standard of the street”.

Will result in most of the street rolling their eyes and knowing or guessing who the cock is 🤣

Or just ignore.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 27/10/2022 14:07

Could you ask your contractors to park further away sometimes?

And annoy people in a different street instead? Not to mention making contractors carry heavy equipment from another street.

Original poster
CrispsAndChoc · 27/10/2022 14:07

The majority of the work with more than one van has been about 4 weeks-that part is finished now. We’ve had bits and pieces done for about 3 months but it’s been a day here and there with one van that would park on the drive while I’m out at work. It’s nearly finished and should be complete early/mid November. There is a drive which is parked on when empty but there is currently a skip on it (there’s only room for one car).

OP posts:
Cuppasoupmonster · 27/10/2022 14:09

Ok, I would write a letter back and either pop it through every letterbox on the road or put it in group chat if you have one. Thank them for their patience, say it will be wrapped up by X date, get rid of the skip ASAP so vans can park on your drive and basically take it on the chin. Will be worth it for good neighbour relations.

maddy68 · 27/10/2022 14:09

I would bin it and not think any more about it. They aren't brave enough to put their names on it. You need to get the jobs done but do be mindful of them and ask them to park considerately

Lots of people work from home and the constant noise and disruption from workmen can be a pain

W0tnow · 27/10/2022 14:10

I would do what Testina suggested! You bought a house that needs work done. You have every right to renovate it..

NewYorkXmas · 27/10/2022 14:10

Testina · 27/10/2022 14:07

I’d photocopy the letter and pop it through all the houses at your end of the street with a short note pointing out that it was anonymous so letting every know you are <x days> away from finish and to just let you know if any questions. A cheery “thanks for bearing with us getting the house up to the standard of the street”.

Will result in most of the street rolling their eyes and knowing or guessing who the cock is 🤣

Or just ignore.

This is a really good idea actually

mummyh2016 · 27/10/2022 14:10

Testina · 27/10/2022 14:07

I’d photocopy the letter and pop it through all the houses at your end of the street with a short note pointing out that it was anonymous so letting every know you are <x days> away from finish and to just let you know if any questions. A cheery “thanks for bearing with us getting the house up to the standard of the street”.

Will result in most of the street rolling their eyes and knowing or guessing who the cock is 🤣

Or just ignore.

I'd do this. It is annoying but it's one of those things!
My next door neighbour complained as her cat had walked in our builders sand (which was on our drive) and trod it all into her carpet Confused luckily it wasn't to me, I don't think I'd have kept a straight face.

Megapint · 27/10/2022 14:11

If they don't have the balls to put their name to it so you can talk & work out a solution then I wouldn't give it a second thought. I bet it's not all the neigbours just 1 grumpy arse. Carry om with the work & enjoy your new house.

Cuppasoupmonster · 27/10/2022 14:11

No, don’t bin it. I don’t think YABU but I really wouldn’t get off on the wrong foot with a neighbour if you can help it.

Whinge · 27/10/2022 14:13

’it's been a day here and there with one van that would park on the drive while I’m out at work.

Are you sure the vans have been parking on the drive? If you're out at work then the vans might not have been parked as considerately as you think, especially during the month where there were multiple vans each day.

StrataZon · 27/10/2022 14:15

Testina · 27/10/2022 14:07

I’d photocopy the letter and pop it through all the houses at your end of the street with a short note pointing out that it was anonymous so letting every know you are <x days> away from finish and to just let you know if any questions. A cheery “thanks for bearing with us getting the house up to the standard of the street”.

Will result in most of the street rolling their eyes and knowing or guessing who the cock is 🤣

Or just ignore.

Yes I'd do this

Aquamarine1029 · 27/10/2022 14:15

I wouldn't give it another thought and I sure as hell would apologise. You're not doing anything wrong and a little inconvenience is something we all have to deal with. Some people act as though the fucking world is ending because a couple of work vans are parked on their street temporarily. It's insane.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/10/2022 14:16

*wouldn't apologise.

Damn phone.

AdInfinitum12 · 27/10/2022 14:16

Megapint · 27/10/2022 14:11

If they don't have the balls to put their name to it so you can talk & work out a solution then I wouldn't give it a second thought. I bet it's not all the neigbours just 1 grumpy arse. Carry om with the work & enjoy your new house.

I agree with this.

CrotchetyQuaver · 27/10/2022 14:16

@Testina suggestion is excellent, clearly you have one cowardly miserable git in the road, it will give everyone a good laugh

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 27/10/2022 14:16

During The last few weeks, a few jobs have accidentally overlapped and there have been more vans and a skip on the drive meaning we can’t park on it. The vans are never parked over driveways but have occasionally been opposite one which can make it difficult (but not impossible) for people to get in and out of their drive. A couple of weeks ago, a neighbour had a go at me for parking opposite her driveway and I haven’t done so since despite it being a legal parking space that others have parked in since

this is quite odd as this op starts off with oh it’s only one van and no skips and a pleading of innocence and then morphs into multiple vans causing neighbours issues getting in and out of their drives and irs been going on for a few weeks now and the neighbours don’t actually know if that’s over or it will continue

i think if you’d led with for a few weeks multiple vans making access difficult for my neighbours the responses would be very different. But as you led with one van causing no issue everyone is saying it’s a neighbour problem.

Original poster
CrispsAndChoc · 27/10/2022 14:19

I like the idea to photocopy the letter and let the neighbours know the end date. The skip is still being used but I’ll see if they can get rid ASAP.

Another thing is that there are around a dozen other houses on the road (it’s a long road!) having work done too and some of their vans are parking towards us which makes it look like we have more going on than we do!

OP posts:
SuperCamp · 27/10/2022 14:22

Sending anonymous notes is a nasty and childish thing to do. I would not grace the sender by taking the slightest bit of notice.

Totally stupid anyway. What does the sender expect you to do? Cease all work mid job?

No one likes building work going on but unless you live in a burrow or have no neighbours, it is a fact of life. As is parking legally on any unrestricted kerb spot. They had a run down property on their road, it was always going to get ‘done up’, with attendant trades traffic etc.

The horrible thing is that as you get to know your neighbours, you will always be wondering.

Shame on anyone on MN who encourages anyone to send an anonymous letter. Unless it is one of thanks, praise or appreciation.

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 27/10/2022 14:23

Op don’t photocopy the letter for goodness sake, as others may be pissed off and agree with them, and find it passive aggressive, it could make it worse.

a nice note through the door saying sorry for the disruption it will be over by such and such a date, maybe even some little chocolates as a gift with it, goes a long way to apologising for disruption and smoothing relations

RandomMess · 27/10/2022 14:24

It will be one miserable person give it no further thought.

Original poster
CrispsAndChoc · 27/10/2022 14:25

I didn’t want to drip feed and only say in the original post that it was multiple vans and a skip for about 4 weeks when work has been going on for around 3 months but those contractors used the driveway. I tried to get as much info in the first post as possible and I did say it was background at the start of that paragraph.

OP posts: