Letter from neighbour

[CrispsAndChoc]

We’ve just had a letter saying that residents of my street are fed up with us and the disruption our work vans are causing. There’s no name or door number (it was delivered by the postman) so we can’t knock and apologise. It’s made me feel awful in our new home and I don’t know what to do!

For background-we moved in earlier this year to a very run down house down a road of lovely houses. Since we moved in, we’ve had lots of work done but it’s only been one van outside and no skips. A few (maybe 6) neighbours have commented on how lovely the house is looking and that they’ve never seen anything be done to it in years.

During The last few weeks, a few jobs have accidentally overlapped and there have been more vans and a skip on the drive meaning we can’t park on it. The vans are never parked over driveways but have occasionally been opposite one which can make it difficult (but not impossible) for people to get in and out of their drive. A couple of weeks ago, a neighbour had a go at me for parking opposite her driveway and I haven’t done so since despite it being a legal parking space that others have parked in since.

The majority of the work is now finished meaning there is only one van most days but the skip is still on the drive for a few more days.

I appreciate that it’s annoying when work is being done somewhere but my thoughts are that people should realise it’s only temporary and speak to us about problems they may have so we can rectify them rather than shout or send anonymous letters. AIBU

Well that all depends on when you started the work. You don't actually say. People like to live in peace and not be inconvenienced, most people are understanding of work being done but excessive work is annoying to others.

This 👆 Don’t stress. It will probably just be one neighbour. Others may feel a bit fed up of it occasionally when they are having a bad day, but people renovate houses and they’ll know that you are not being unreasonable doing so. In their hearts they will want it done in the interests of the street and when it’s completed, it will all quickly be forgotten.

I had to put up with lorries and vans parking over my dropped kerb blocking my car in almost daily for 3 months. It was hellish. I spoke to them constantly about it and it was a huge relief when the renovations were completed. I didn't send any anonymous letters though, how horrible. Interesting to find out it's illegal too. What OP is doing sounds like just normal minor inconvenience.

do you have a street WhatsApp group? If so, send an apology

Maybe invite a few neighbours for drinks when work done to say thanks

The letter is anonymous (bloody rude/coward) so there's no way you can apologise directly

Reminds me of the time we got a flyer through the door which said something like 'Fed up of the noise from the local peacocks? The council are informed and looking into it. Please contact them on this address to raise your concern!'
Funnily enough the council had no knowledge of this at all, and it was pretty obvious who had written it. Needless to say the local Facebook group soon piped up with lots of 'we love the peacocks' posts. They soon shut up.

Bottom line is, it's likely someone has their back up about it and has presumed everyone feels the same, writing a 'collective' letter.
Regardless I would ignore it and let it blow over. It's only temporary after all and you can't do anything nowadays without upsetting someone down our street.

It's all quite subjective really regarding how much disruption you've caused.You refer to how some of the vans would have left it difficult but not impossible to get out of a drive. My elderly mother would find that situation impossible and has missed medical appointments etc because she's been blocked in. What might be possible for you as a fit person would be impossible for an elder person with arthritic shoulders and neck.
Don't resend an anonymous letter, you need to be building bridges.Make an effort to thank your neighbours and move on.

Oh brilliant idea!!!

Piss off all the neighbours who have been understanding to get back at one tosspot.

@CrispsAndChoc I'd just put a date on it & file it. Ask DH To keep an eye that all your contractors are parking as agreed (as he's the one WFH) . Then carry on as you were. Don't let it upset you, it's obviously one person trying to make it as though they're talking behind your back. It's nasty behaviour! It's bad enough doing it anonymously but saying it's from a group of people is really low! Your other neighbours have said it's good to see it being renovated! Ignore the stupid git!!

For goodness sake, they know it's temporary and you sound like lovely considerate neighbours. Most likely just one disgruntled neighbour who has made it sound like more. Chin up, ignore and at some point you brilliant find out who it is. Xx

If is was in a state not being a snob but was probably an eyesore and I bet 99% of the neighbours are happy it’s being done up. Raising the standard of the street in general. It’s a bit of give and take. My neighbour sadly passed away few years ago house in good area blah blah sold very quickly lovely couple moved in and had to totally redo everything rewire the lot and new roof. Did I moan no her father is a sparkie doing all the rewire apologised, I said no problem neighbour had lived there over fifty years I understand. New neighbour wonderful she has tenants at mo but just like her we all get along well including me lending my gardening stuff to them.

When it’s finished have a small party or drinks something to apologise and show them the finished article - people soon forget

Your entitled fo have work done and vans pay tax so can park
I would ignore it and move on if they haven't even got the guts to own it

Are you the fifth or sixth person to move into the street and start doing disruptive renovation work?
It can be very annoying although obviously not necessarily your fault. But I so think anyone intending to carry out noisy work that's going to intrude on neighbours should apologise in advance, offer a few bottles of wine etc.

I do think people need to be a bit more aware of how upsetting it can be for people who live on roads where several houses have changed hands recently and had extensive work done to them. It's just constant noise and disruption and people get fed up of not having peace and quiet in their own homes.

Would they prefer you not to improve your house & the community? Do your work, continue to minimise disruption but there will always be some. I agree about responding to the anonymous letter with a copy of it and your response to all neighbours. Remember, anyone with a taxed vehicle can largely park where they want on a residential estate (drives excluded).

Turn this on its head. How bad must this neighbour feel to have penned the anonymous letter? And you’ve caused their stress. Maybe you’ve been self-absorbed and un-neighbourly by their standards? If you move into a neighbourhood and plan to have work done, the polite and neighbourly thing to do is to drop by those likely to be affected before work starts. Introduce yourself, discuss any plans, particularly boundary fences, hedges or extensions. Let them know the planned timeframe. Discuss where a skip and work toilet can go if it can’t be put on your land. Offer to have them round when work is finished. If you’d been more neighbourly in the first place you’d possibly be chatting with them about the build frustrations over a friendly cup of tea instead of venting on mumsnet.

Ignore it.
Our next door neighbour's been building an extension for seventeen months,the pathway between our house and his looks like a war zone and we've got a hole you could drive a Mini through in the wall that divides our back gardens.

His builders blocked a sewage pipe that left another neighbours house smelling of shit for three months before they discovered what the problem was and last summer he knocked down one of the walls in our front garden without consulting us.
There's more and I've spoken to him about it,which is what your neighbour should've done if they think their life is being ruined by a couple of vans that wouldn't normally be parked on the street.

The letter is probably from the person who had a go at you op.

A couple of weeks ago, a neighbour had a go at me for parking opposite her driveway and I haven’t done so since despite it being a legal parking space that others have parked in since.

That is probably the one who wrote the angry letter.

I wouldn't assume everyone is feeling that degree of anger. Other people on the street, like your neighbour, have done renovations/work. This is life. It's annoying, but it passes. I would bin the letter. Certainly don't send everyone copies in an effort to contact the anonymous sender and appease them!

She has said
"It’s been ongoing work for around 3 months but the last few weeks have been particularly busy until the last day or so when it has quietened down again."

For your own sake, don’t copy on or distribute the anonymous letter to other residents. They already know each other. Whilst they may not agree or concur with the note sender in detail or spirit, they may have loyalty or friendship with them.

Remember that however considerate you & your contractors have been, how much neighbours have admired the work done, you are not yet settled in.
You are the new kids on the block & don’t yet know of the existing allegiances & cliques. Could be that neighbours are mighty nice & polite, but weary of multiple building works in the road, & one broke rank by sending you the note. You just got the short straw IYSWIM so don’t take it personally.

I suggest that you hand deliver a general note saying how close you are to completing works, any disruption from the site will soon end, apologise for any inconvenience caused & thank everyone for making us so welcome in our new home.

If other sites nearby have building works ongoing, you want to point out in a general & polite way that none of that disruption is due to you.

You’ll soon have your lovely home finished & in time for Christmas, enjoy!

Yeh because I’m sure ppl just read the first paragraph then responded 🤦🏼‍♀️

Or they likely read it all and still see mild inconvenience and a moaning twat neighbour.

Put a one on the skip "replying to the anonymous letter" saying you're sorry, it's been difficult having u therefor some ppl, the vans aren't all yours bt others builders, blah, end saying ull try to be more considerate when the basement is done 😂

It's really unpleasant but you actually got the upper hand here as you are being the "annoyer" than the annoyed! Just get in your day and shower your neighbours with kindness. It won't be long before you suss the prick!

Honestly they could of just spoke to you. The work is not going to go on forever. Don't let it worry you.

All irrelevant so long as vans are legally parked. They can park there daily forever if they like.

Another vote for this being an excellent idea. Works on a number of levels.