Letter from neighbour

[CrispsAndChoc]

We’ve just had a letter saying that residents of my street are fed up with us and the disruption our work vans are causing. There’s no name or door number (it was delivered by the postman) so we can’t knock and apologise. It’s made me feel awful in our new home and I don’t know what to do!

For background-we moved in earlier this year to a very run down house down a road of lovely houses. Since we moved in, we’ve had lots of work done but it’s only been one van outside and no skips. A few (maybe 6) neighbours have commented on how lovely the house is looking and that they’ve never seen anything be done to it in years.

During The last few weeks, a few jobs have accidentally overlapped and there have been more vans and a skip on the drive meaning we can’t park on it. The vans are never parked over driveways but have occasionally been opposite one which can make it difficult (but not impossible) for people to get in and out of their drive. A couple of weeks ago, a neighbour had a go at me for parking opposite her driveway and I haven’t done so since despite it being a legal parking space that others have parked in since.

The majority of the work is now finished meaning there is only one van most days but the skip is still on the drive for a few more days.

I appreciate that it’s annoying when work is being done somewhere but my thoughts are that people should realise it’s only temporary and speak to us about problems they may have so we can rectify them rather than shout or send anonymous letters. AIBU

It was the op who parked opposite not a van. And since then, other cars have parked there because it’s a parking space on the street.

The op is also entitled to buy a van and park it in the street.

People have work done all the time and in every street. Are you suggesting no one is allowed visitors to park outside houses? That no trades people should be allowed? Or should it be limited to one at a time? Can you imagine that conversation?

“We’ll be with you on Friday”
”Sorry, you can’t come on Friday the plumber will be here”
”That’s ok, we can work around each other”
”No, I’m only allowed one trade at a time because my neighbour doesn’t like the vans”

Ignore it. You're going to have a long relationship with your neighbours. Let them rant if they want, you just get on with your life. You're entitled to renovate your house, you're not parking illegally or inconsiderately. You've done nothing wrong. Some idiot is angry with you, but doesn't even have the balls to sign their name. The letter is about them and their feelings, which you can do nothing about. Why let them get to you?

A couple of weeks ago, a neighbour had a go at me for parking opposite her driveway

Well at least that gives you a good idea of who's the most likely culprit!

I'm in the ignore camp. You've dealt with the works as well as you can and have tried to minimise disruption as much as possible. I'm not sure how much more you can have done other than let the house fall further in to disrepair!

The work is nearly finished now, so bin it and carry on.

I don't think I'd be able to resist mentioning it to one of the other neighbours if I was having a chat though.

I haven’t parked opposite her driveway since she shouted at me. I don’t want to inconvenience people but would rather people approach me with the issues or leave a note with their name/door number so I can address it properly. I mentioned to the workmen who were here at the time and they haven’t parked there since either. One of them heard the exchange and asked if I was ok because she really had a go. There have been other vans and cars parked there as it is a legal space but they are from other houses.

The problem is lack of communication.
@CrispsAndChoc if you'd put a note through the nearest neighbour's doors a few days before work began with a rough timescale and a please let us know if your driveway gets blocked etc then you would have possibly not had the anonymous note.

When we moved into our home I put a note through the close ndn's houses saying what time we expected the removal van and please knock and let us know if you need it to move. We live in a tight cul de sac. They in turn sent us new home cards welcoming us and a few weeks later we invited them round for drinks.

If you want good neighbours you have to make an effort.

Cowardly of them to do it anonymously. In doing so, they've made it impossible for you to offer apologies so I'd ignore it. Or, as a pp has suggested, photocopy it round all the street which is both suitably apologetic and glorious pass-ag towards the letter writer. 😄

First you said one van and no skips,then you said there was a skip and a few vans so its not 'no skips' really is it.

Then you say its down to one van parked on the drive but go on to say they can't park on the drive because the skip is there.
So l think you are either downplaying or in a bit of denial of how much you are impacting your neighbours.
I wouldn't have sent you an anonymous letter though l would've approached you directly as your opposite neighbour did.

If you’re at work, then the contractors may have been a little less than considerate with their parking (especially if multiple vans have been present).

I’d say have a good eye roll & don’t worry about it. Some people are born to moan.

However, you did mention there were no skips in your first post, then admitting to a skip in a subsequent post. Are you being completely honest about the frequency & amount of extra traffic from all the works that have been carried out?

It’s easy to get complex projects with many contractors muddled (as in, it seems like one bloody builder then another, so it becomes one big, continuous grind of contractor after contractor in you head). I’ve been there!

Their parking is outside of your control, of course. And whoever sent an anonymous letter is a dickwad, especially since they’re meant to be a neighbour (being neighbourly is a dying art it seems). But there may be those for whom disruption is a major factor to anxiety, or have issues with continuous noise, or have had difficulty parking (because they can’t drive for toffee perhaps) & just like a rant. Not your fault of course, but I’d just pop a note around (if you wish) with an end date or when everything should be complete. If someone’s sent a letter through just being purely malicious, I bet your other neighbours know exactly who it is & have probably received similar in the past!

We had ‘Mr. Bellend’ next door to us, who would use his fists as a discussion tool after we moved in. Until he lamped the copper who had gone round to ask him about knocking my husband out. Put it this way, Mr Bellend was in one of His Majesty’s holiday residences (the ones with full bed & board for extended stays lol) and he sold up & never returned!

No-I said at first there wasn’t a skip but there has been for the last few weeks and multiple vans. I did put all this in my first post.

I would toss the letter in the bin, but when speaking to neighbours let them know you are nearly finished and thank them for their patience, hopefully you will.inadvertentky speak to the letter writer or it will get back to them

My neighbour wrote a letter of objection to a planning application of the next property along, addressing it from the residents of our lane! The rest of us then submitted letters of support🙃

I'd mention the other house's vans in the photocopied letter to all, too.

Make it clear you can't wait until your house is letting down the street anymore ... they'd be hard pressed to argue with your intent.

It’s been ongoing work for around 3 months but the last few weeks have been particularly busy until the last day or so when it has quietened down again.

I wish I’d done what a few of you have said which was to put a note in before the work started. I may do a note now thanking people for their patience and letting them know when it will be finished.

I think I know who wrote the letter.

Public street, free to park there. I wouldn't be having that!

A house in our street has just had a full renovation and the work vans have been a nightmare. Different neighbours have mentioned it but it's not been addressed. While I wouldn't personally send an anonymous note, I can see why people get pissed off.

This sounds to me as if you have a friendly neighbour. Or at least one who knows that if he was being driven demented by your builders he could let you know, so he won't have been writing anonymous letters and sending them through the post (an expensive hobby these days!)

So

Why not ask him for advice?

You could go round and thank him for being so understanding, tell him the builders have said they will be finished by (date) and you really hope they are right because you are having to live in a building site, but say sadly that it seems your renovation being done has made someone else in the street so unhappy that they have written you an anonymous letter about it. Since you don't know who it is you can't go and explain that the work will be over before Christmas, and you don't know what to do. Can he think of anything?

He may be able to help, and at the very least he almost certainly won't be angry with you for asking for help. And just maybe he will be able to spread the word that you are mortified about how long it has all taken and are hoping it will be over soon.

I'm in the ignore camp.

If someone can't be bothered to come to your door and mention an inconvenience and give you a chance to sort it - then they clearly aren't that bothered!

What does an anonymous person want you to do?

If you know what driveway is struggling with what can you could have actually done something!

Hmmm in all our houses we've lived in, when someone's having work done on the street they make a point of going round and talking to everyone in a close vicinity (who it might disrupt) and giving their phone number and letting them know when the work will finish. It's what we've done and that's just to put planning in! I'd keep neighbours on side and would go around in person one night after work to speak to them all to explain when the work will be finishing.

Does she have a go at others parking there?

Only ask because a friend of mine moved onto a street where the other residents had lived there for decades.

One horrible woman targeted her and would have a right old go at her for breathing in the street for the most inane things but never anyone else.

Never worked out why but I think it was just fear more new people would move in as the older ones were slowly downsizing and/or sadly going into care or dying and it was about controlling the future of the street to what it was when she lived there with her own children and far less family cars!

I really wish I’d done this! Didn’t even think of it. We’ve not done major work on a house before and never had a neighbour knock for the same reason. I think I’ll pop round this evening to a few houses.

I haven’t seen her speak to anyone else.

This. With knobs on!

I would put more skips in street to really annoy them don't pay any attention to the letter yoy should see my street the council are putting new windows and guttering in council owed housing and for past 3 months there has been constant traffic of large vans and skips doesn't bother me at all whoever sent that letter has very little to do in the day

Ooh annoying.
A couple of years ago I had a problem new next door neighbour who decided to go up and down the street telling my other neighbours that I was a prostitute, a racist, homophobic, I banged on the wall and shouted slurs at him etc
I've lived here years, never had a problem with anyone, neighbours were telling me what he was doing.
In the end I had to get the police involved (longer story than I've written here) he had to write me a letter of apology refuting all his accusations.
I stuck the letter up in my front room window for all the neighbors to read.
You could try that, someone will realise who wrote it, it'll be one person, most neighbours won't be too bothered about building work / vans over a 4 week period

Bin in it, some sad old fucker who needs to get a life.
Give it no more thought OP, you've done nothing wrong.
And don't let that lady bully you into not parking opposite her drive, she doesn't own the road.

We started a major renovation just before the first Covid lockdown (wish we'd had a crystal ball!), so it went on much longer than the four months originally scheduled. We have 7 houses near ours and we all know each other pretty well; luckily everyone was really patient and didn't complain, although they let us know if the contractors parked inconsiderately or played radios loudly (didn't happen much).

In the end the work ran on till just before Christmas and we decided to give each of them a bottle of wine and thank-you card, which they all really appreciated. It just helped to acknowledge what they'd had to put up with for months longer than they'd expected.