Letter from neighbour

[CrispsAndChoc]

We’ve just had a letter saying that residents of my street are fed up with us and the disruption our work vans are causing. There’s no name or door number (it was delivered by the postman) so we can’t knock and apologise. It’s made me feel awful in our new home and I don’t know what to do!

For background-we moved in earlier this year to a very run down house down a road of lovely houses. Since we moved in, we’ve had lots of work done but it’s only been one van outside and no skips. A few (maybe 6) neighbours have commented on how lovely the house is looking and that they’ve never seen anything be done to it in years.

During The last few weeks, a few jobs have accidentally overlapped and there have been more vans and a skip on the drive meaning we can’t park on it. The vans are never parked over driveways but have occasionally been opposite one which can make it difficult (but not impossible) for people to get in and out of their drive. A couple of weeks ago, a neighbour had a go at me for parking opposite her driveway and I haven’t done so since despite it being a legal parking space that others have parked in since.

The majority of the work is now finished meaning there is only one van most days but the skip is still on the drive for a few more days.

I appreciate that it’s annoying when work is being done somewhere but my thoughts are that people should realise it’s only temporary and speak to us about problems they may have so we can rectify them rather than shout or send anonymous letters. AIBU

When we moved and were doing much-needed renovations, one day all our tradesmen were needed and I counted fourteen vans in the road, all associated with us. I would do as a PP suggested and stick it somewhere everyone can read it.

Christ on a bike, did people not do their reading comprehension at primary school? She doesn't know who it was.
And in any case, sending 'little chocolates' to some spineless twunt who doesn't have the decency or the balls to knock at a neighbour's door and ask for a chat, or even sign a letter? Bollocks to that.

Ignore it, OP. My money is on it being one person ('residents of the street' my arse) and they didn't dare ask for support among the neighbours as they knew they'd be resoundingly told to get the stick out of their arse.

What I would do, actually, passive-aggressively, is if someone else comments on how lovely it's looking or otherwise approaches you positively about the work, I'd say something like 'That's nice to hear, because I did have a complaint recently and I'd hate to think I was causing people upset and they couldn't come and talk to me – it was anonymous, you see...' and let the local grapevine get to work

I’d put the letter in a plastic wallet thing and add a footnote as suggested upthread. Leave it at the front of your house where passers by can see it… then watch to see who reads the whole thing and who only reads you’re bit. Et voila, you have your culprit!

Put some fairy lights on the skip 😂

Could you afford to send a bottle of wine round to the neighbours most likely to have been inconvenienced and a card thanking them for all their patience and tolerance while work has been happening and a rough date youre expecting it to finish by

@CrispsAndChoc It's a really tricky thing. On one hand I get that they are annoyed, especially if it makes it harder for people to get in-out of their drives/roads. My partner is so anxious when it comes to backing out of spaces etc and the idea of having someone make that even harder would drive her to despair. At the same time, you are doing up a property and making the road look better, so the other houses locally will likely be more attractive as a result.

Letter writers often send them because they don't like confrontation and they don't know how you will respond. In fairness, in 2022 I would be reluctant, and I am very assertive. The last thing I need is to piss off the neighbour and then have a feud develop!

If it's a small number of suspects, I would just stick a note through everyone's door saying you received the letter (maybe photocopy the letter you received and include it so that there is no ambiguity) and that if they have an issue, you are more than happy to speak openly about it. This will do two things 1) it will address the issue and give people a timescale if they need it 2) you will shape them to not do this in the future. You want to make it aversive for people to post anonymous notes as this makes you worry. Outing the person in a public space will almost always stop that behaviour recurring.

Good luck!

@DameHelena

Yes I do realise OP doesn't know who the letter came from. No need to be so rude.....

It's been suggested she writes to all the neighbours, including a copy of the letter. I'm suggesting she writes to all the neighbours, but no need to include a copy of the letter

If it's a genuine problem they should petition the council to put in parking restrictions. If they're just a rubbish driver who can't get out of their driveway properly then they either need to practise more or give up on driving.

In either case it's not your problem.

I was replying more to the person who suggested sending chocolates; didn't realise that not the whole of the material I meant to quote would show.
But my point about writing/not writing back stands: whoever wrote it isn't worth the effort, and the others (I'd wager the majority) don't mind or care about the work.

The neighbours opposite me actually did something like this, the house was terribly run down and needed making damp proof and new kitchen/bathroom/roof etc.

To be fair the work went on for ages but we all just got on with it as you do, at the end of the day they needed to make the house habitable to live in.

They had an anonymous note popped through their door moaning about the noise and skips, so they put it on the street group chat with a very reasonable message and people quickly figured out who had sent it 😂

I would ignore it and I say that as a neighbour who is fed up with the renovations going on two houses away.

We are detached so not even that close but I work from home, so it disturbs me more. Not sure if you mean 3 months in total with 1 month of overlapping or 3 months plus 1 but the constant drilling and banging, dust and double parking is wearing after a while. In addition, one set of builders had a radio full blast for days and a different one had a foul mouth apprentice.

But this happens in life I have no idea when this house will be finished, the owners are very sensibly living elsewhere.

This!

Just to also say that if the lady opposite you panics over a vehicle opposite her drive , she shouldn’t be driving. The cheek of her!

If they’re that bothered, they could put their name on the letter or speak to you personally. Bin it

This.

Also expect these people that are outraged enough to send a letter but too timid to even put their names on it will be pleased when everything's finished and your house raises both the look of the road and also the prices of their homes.

People are oddly territorial of 'their' spaces especially when they're bad at parking.

There's a house in our cul-de-sac which have been doing extensive renovations for months now. Constant vans/skips/noise/dirt but the house desperately needed it (little old lady who died having seemingly not done any work since she bought it 50 years ago) and it looks cracking now. I actually wonder if you're my neighbour!

People have no tolerance. Yes it's a pain in the bum at the time but neighbours don't get a say over people getting work done, provided everyone parks legally and works within the permitted times.

Fuck them, you aren't doing anything wrong. Better to have a street full of nice houses than a street with an old one falling apart bringing the look down. I'm pretty sure it's only one person trying to talk for everyone. Id ignore it. Work won't last for ever. Id guess its the person who had a go at you. You can park there if you need to and she can suck it up.

I would buy four tins of quality street, take them round to both next door neighbours and two directly opposite and say ‘sorry about the disruption, it’s nearly finished.’ Explain about the letter and say you feel awful but with no idea who sent it you can’t directly speak to them. If it was one of them hopefully they’ll feel guilty and if it’s not, word may get back to them. Either way, you’ve been a good neighbour.

During The last few weeks, a few jobs have accidentally overlapped and there have been more vans and a skip on the drive meaning we can’t park on it. The vans are never parked over driveways but have occasionally been opposite one which can make it difficult (but not impossible) for people to get in and out of their drive. A couple of weeks ago, a neighbour had a go at me for parking opposite her driveway and I haven’t done so since despite it being a legal parking space that others have parked in since. The majority of the work is now finished meaning there is only one van most days but the skip is still on the drive for a few more days.

HTH

I would send a group whatsAp (if you are on one) apologising for any disruption, and gratitude for everyone understanding. Say you're looking forward to meeting the neighbours for a drink when its finished?

I'd totally ignore it.

The house needs renovation - I bet they've complained about that for as long as it's needed doing. So what the hell do they expect people to do?

And no way would I be buying chocolates or having them all round!

So what if they're neighbours? There's no need to go overboard.

Be considerate with your parking, don't be a dick, but don't pander to ridiculous and anonymous complaints. If they don't put a name on they don't deserve your time or energy.

You don’t actually know if several neighbours are complaining. It might only be one who is making out it’s several to make you feel bad. I think I’d have a word to try and establish if the neighbour who shouted at you sent it first, then just post polite notes through the other doors offering an apology and an expected end date. Tell them they are welcome to speak to you about any concerns.

Ignore it. They don't own the road outside, or opposite their house. If contractors are parking awkwardly, that's another matter, but if they have parked on the street and not over a driveway, they're not doing anything wrong.

The people across the road from me had 3 builders vans for a couple of months. It's annoying, but nothing that can be done and likewise we've had building work done; it's just one of those things that happen from time to time.

Same neighbour parks on the road opposite our drive, making it very awkward for us to get in and out, but we know there's nothing we can do about it.

I'd photocopy the letter and write a reply and post it to every house.

Re the attached letter we received X day... Apologies for mass mail but as letter is anonymous we didn't know whom it was from... Just to confirm that other than the 4 weeks in X month we've only needed And will only need the single van... Work due to be finished X... Hope you can appreciate there was a lot to do but ti's almost done... Apologies for anyone we've inconvenienced

I'm really surprised at the responses saying to buy them all chocolates, invite them all round, write a heartfelt apology letter to all your neighbours etc etc. OP has done nothing wrong! People are allowed to have work done to their houses. Yes, more people work from home now but they can't expect their whole street to fall silent to accommodate them. When our neighbours over the road had their extension built there was lots of noise, but I imagine it was much more disruptive for them than it was for us. It never occurred to me to be annoyed with them about it. On one occasion a van had parked opposite our drive making it tricky for me to reverse out. I just wanted until I saw the builder again and asked him politely not to park there in future, and it didn't happen again. I would ignore a note from anyone who didn't have the courtesy to talk to me properly or at the very least sign their name.

Shove it in the bin and don’t think any more about it . Honestly . Just keep calm and carry on . Sorry are living on a street with such folk . Entitled .good luck with the rest of the house it will soon be done 😀