Night out with friend "just come casual " then she comes dressed up...aibu to be annoyed?

[bradleyboo]

Last Saturday I had a night out with my friend.
The plan was to go into town for a few drinks.
She rang me and said "it's just casual,I'm gonna wear my big coat and boots"
So I dress down

Arrive and there she is dressed up
Skirt and bodysuit,heeled boots and no coat.
So I look like a scruff
I said "I thought it was casual"
She said "I changed my mind,dont be silly tho you look fine"

I'm still annoyed now
I felt horrible all night
We went in nice pubs (was meant to be just a spoons type pub)
I felt horrible

I must be on another wavelength. It wouldn't occur to me that there was anything intentional or malicious in this. I'd just think she liked getting dressed up and changed her mind. Who on their evening out would be staring at the two of you, comparing you and giving it any more than a second's thought? If you were happy to go out dressed casually, what's the issue?

Agree with anyone saying it's weird for grown adults to text their friends to discuss what they're wearing.

You're all nuts. Dress code? Wtf?

Unless you were both on the pull, then I really don't see what the problem is, why do you think that anyone is paying you and your friend any attention?
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you do realise that most people would just go, oh look there's two people there, not what you ended up thinking in your head... you don't have to dress up / down to have a good time. Pherhaps your friend was just as insecure as you, but it struck her 10 minutes before she went out, and she fell foul of it.

I think it's bit teenager-ish to even have this conversation. Now I think of it, it lends weight to the bitchy interoperation.

I've never consulted another person about what I'm going to wear in my life.

Why do grown adults need to notify their friends of a fairly minor outfit change?

she hardly turned up in black tie! Just a bodysuit skirt and boots - fairly normal smart-casual for a night drinking in town.

Why did you go out in clothes that made you feel horrible? If someone dressing up more made you feel "horrible" then you can't have been that happy with the outfit you were wearing in the first place.

Wtf? Do people really live like this?

On a Friday night on the town people are absolutely paying each other attention.
If no one ever noticed anyone else, then no one would ever bother dressing up or down or establishing any dress codes.
The OP and her friend established a dress code and the friend one upped it. She also changed the venue so that she was the one dressed most appropriately.

Exactly that! It’s the sort of thing I might do, and not deliberately. I get changed, change my mind and want to dress up a bit more. And my friends have done it to me. You simply change your mind. Certainly no malice or jealousy or game playing involved.

It’s worrying how many women think other women are spiteful.

She was happy with the outfit for weatherspoons but felt it wasn't nice enough for the smart pubs. Surely the idea of different clothes for different venues is not that odd?

Bodysuit? How did she get there? In a time machine from the 90s.

I have a 17yo daughter, bodysuits are in.

a pub in town is a pub in town 🤷‍♀️
if OP is that prescriptive about what outfit she wears to which location, she should have insisted on going to the Wetherspoons, but tbh it sounds like a lot of drama over nothing

Have you been to a women’s clothing shop in the last 2 years?
the 90’s have been ‘back’ for ages

And OP had no opinion or ability to stick to the original plan?
so her emotional reaction is all the friend’s fault 🙄

I'm a little amazed at the people who prefer to be under dressed. I am much more comfortable over dressed, under dressed makes me very self conscious. Not that I'd wear an evening dress to a BBQ, but I'd wear a nice dress, not jeans etc

I also think your friend set you up and understand you feeling self conscious at being under dressed for where you ended up going.

Definitely sabotage! Although I've often found I have more fun when I'm dressed more casually, probably feel less self conscious

The moral of this story is: wear whatever you feel good in. Unless it's a formal, there's no dress code other than look and feel good.

OP she is not a nice person and I agree she did it on purpose to stand out but actually she probably looked silly

I don't agree she did it on purpose.

If i was deciding what to wear out, and changed my mind when trying on, there's no way it would occur to me to text my friend to update them.

She did it on purpose.

She is not a friend.

She wanted you to be the frumpy sidekick making her look better /more attractive

Sorry but she's a bitch

Why does she get to decide the dress code? I would just always wear what I felt good in.

What a bizarre thread! Surely you wear what you want / what makes yoh feel good on a night out. Who cares what your friend is wearing?!