Night out with friend "just come casual " then she comes dressed up...aibu to be annoyed?

[bradleyboo]

Last Saturday I had a night out with my friend.
The plan was to go into town for a few drinks.
She rang me and said "it's just casual,I'm gonna wear my big coat and boots"
So I dress down

Arrive and there she is dressed up
Skirt and bodysuit,heeled boots and no coat.
So I look like a scruff
I said "I thought it was casual"
She said "I changed my mind,dont be silly tho you look fine"

I'm still annoyed now
I felt horrible all night
We went in nice pubs (was meant to be just a spoons type pub)
I felt horrible

I wouldn't have went to the fancy bars.

Has she form for this type of thing? It's very immature.

I would've gone home. Also I agree it's worse being overdressed than underdressed, so embarrassing.

Or… she changed her mind.

Only the terminally insecure would infer that an outfit upgrade = competitive jealousy.

I would not have thought twice about it.

I had a friend like this when we were teenagers, but kind of a reverse situation. She would say she was “getting done up” when we had planned to meet boys in town, so I would too, not wanting to risk looking dowdy, only to arrive and she would be wearing jeans and a Reebok jumper (as was the fashion then) and then make comments about how I had gone out of my way to dress up to meet the boys. Dick.
To be pulling these stunts as an adult woman - nah. Get better friends.

i would’ve refused to go to the fancy bars and asked her to stick to the original plan if the cheap pubs!

I went to a wedding in Spain. I asked my Spanish sister in law what the dress code was and she said 'whatever you feel comfortable in' my mother and I turned up in floral summer knee length dresses. The rest of the party? Full length evening gowns. It wasn't jealousy, I think she was genuinely trying to say don't worry about it. My mum and I felt like the Clampitts in comparison. I'm still bitter 😒

My sister does this. Took me ages to realise she was setting me up so she could look better. Now when we go out i don’t bother checking the ‘dress code’ and just wear whatever I feel good in then she can’t win. She hates it!

She sounds very silly. And I would bet plenty she looked very silly next to you. I wear what I want to wear.

I have been underdressed compared to others in jeans and trainers on a night out and overdressed in an evening dress and heels at a sports club awards night that was far less formal than the invitation suggested. Couldn't care less. I made my decision about what to wear and no good thing comes of comparison to anyone else.

On another note I can't get over the instruction to a PP to arrive somewhere in pyjamas and to actually follow that through.

One of the joys of getting older is that when I meet up with friends it's to see them and enjoy their company. 'Getting attention' from randoms is the last thing on our minds and we dress to please ourselves.

I would just assume she changed her mind and go to casual pubs instead of fancy ones.

Maybe she legitimately changed her mind. I don't really go 'out out' anymore but I remember having some right meltdowns when deciding what to wear. Now I always over dress because it's so rare I go anywhere. 😅😭

She’s definitely done it on purpose OP. I agree with PPs, she sounds quite the insecure and jealous type so probably wanted to look like the “better” one out of the two of you.

Looking overdressed is always worse than looking underdressed.

She'll have looked desperate for attention - but it will have undermined your confidence that night.

I agree with other posters - she's jealous of you

Yup. I'd have insisted on the night in 'spoons as planned and let her feel out of place.

@CharlotteByrde
One of the joys of getting older is that when I meet up with friends it's to see them and enjoy their company. 'Getting attention' from randoms is the last thing on our minds and we dress to please ourselves.

This! I'm very grateful to be too old for this sort of crap. If in the very rare event a friend did this to me I'd a) not care, b) feel a bit sorry for them being so overdressed for the pub as I definitely wouldn't be going anywhere that needed dressing like that and c) just go home if the night didn't suit me any more.

OP just you wait another 10-20 years, it's crap for lots of of things but it's great for not giving a shit about stuff like this!

If she'd changed her mind she could have texted.

Oh I don’t know … I never ask people want they’re wearing and just wear what I want. But I also never know what I’m wearing until the hour before, depending on what’s clean, if I’ve been mainlining pasta all day, etc. Then wouldn’t have time/remember to text that I’ve changed outfits

Agree.

I really couldn’t get worked up about my friend being dressed up and not me. But then I like my friends, I’m more likely to compliment them on their outfit than to sulk.

I dress how I want, not according to what my friends are wearing and I feel good about myself!

Would I be annoyed? YES. She's having you on.

Why can’t you decide what to wear and which pubs to go to?

why do you need her to make all your decisions for you and be responsible for your outfit and pub choices?

Another vote for she did it on purpose because she wanted to look nicer than you. She obviously feels that you’re much better looking than her. She’s not a friend.

Was she on the pull all night?

I’m amazed so many people are so sure it was done out of malice on her part!

She said she was wearing boots and a coat, then didn’t wear the coat. Is that right?

Is this something she normally does?

If not then she might of just changed her mind last min.