To ask you to admit doing the annoying things people on MN complain about?

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For an anonymous internet forum, it continually strikes me as odd that people very rarely admit to engaging in the problematic or annoying behaviours complained about on here - it's always someone else doing it, apparently. Whether it's hogging the middle lane on the motorway, having kids who are out of control in public places, being a noisy neighbour or not picking up dog poo, people on MN constantly complain about these things happening around them but if no one on here admits to doing it, who are all these offenders? For example, several people in my neighbourhood are leaving their dog's poo around constantly, but when this is brought up on here every single dog owner loudly exclaims that it it's these dog owners who give them a bad name, that they never go out walking without carrying several bags for good measure! Same with bad driving - people on here love calling out driving pet peeves, but surely at least some people on here are engaging in those very same behaviours e.g. tailgating, driving too slowly or bad parking, that everyone complains about?

Are people on here just squeaky clean or in denial? I admit it, I do hog the middle lane sometimes, there you go 😬

When does a gap between slow vehicles become 'nothing in the inside lane'? It's a question of judgement, surely, and how far ahead you are looking. I've had an alarming motorway experience with a newly qualified driver who had a tendency to move in after every bloody lorry, continue at 70 till he was too near the next one for comfort, and then jink out again into the middle lane.

(As an aside, where are all these 65mph lorries? Always seems to be the massive ones with a 58mph limiter around here.)

I sometimes get road rage.
I also sometimes scream in my car.
I definitely don’t change my bed sheets every week.
I have two cats who I imagine shit in other peoples gardens (but at the same time wouldn’t take offence to people taking steps to prevent that apart from poisoning of course.)

I have been known to undertake middle lane hoggers.

I don't - I simply continue proceeding in the normal driving lane ('slow' lane) at a faster (legal, appropriate) speed than they are dawdling along in the middle.

Why would I leave the 'slow' lane, pull out across the other two lanes and then pull back into the 'slow' lane again, just because there's a poor driver in another lane who isn't affecting me, purely to technically legitimise their poor driving?

A lot of the people doing this stuff (especially anti-social things)don’t have any powers of self-reflection, they are not likely to be reasoning about what they do, and less likely to be posting on this forum.

Isn’t this really, really dangerous?

Well, an anonymous forum is a perfect place to admit it, and explain it! It's hardly public humiliation. I always wonder if middle-lane hoggers are even aware they were doing the wrong thing.

I agree with this when there are 3 lanes and do the same quite often.

Ha, I got a Ring doorbell exactly so that I could decide who I did and didn't want to answer the door to!

I’ve got a very yappy dog.

I don’t work…I do have Asperger’s and chronic fatigue but regardless of that I do as little as possible.

I have a wind chime.

I sing very loudly even though I live in a very unsoundproofed flat (although my neighbour actually likes it!).

I’m very friendly and polite but I judge people’s appearance quite harshly.

I’m entitled and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think everyone is entitled to a nice life.

I have a toilet brush.

I drive really slowly and annoy people but I think I drive at the correct speed and everyone else drives too fast.

I say ‘bab’ a lot because I’m from the midlands.

I never look at replies to my comments (that often go against the majority) because I won’t waste energy getting into an argument.

I have inherited tea towels that are older than me!

And I use toilet brushes.

And I don't change the bed sheets as often as I should!

We let off fireworks once a year in our residential neighbourhood (may not be a specifically MN thing, but definitely a local facebook group thing). We now have them partly to piss off the righteous neighbour who said we weren't being environmentally friendly letting them off once a year, while he drove around every day in a fuck off massive 4x4!

I don't do any of that, but I have a toilet brush but no cleaner. I don't leave my husband everytime we disagree on anything.

I smoke occasionally,drink more than a thimble of sherry at Christmas,use a loo brush ,use dustpan to clear crumbs off kitchen surface , kids went to Grammar School and so I could go on 🙄

I worked with someone for almost a year before she knew I have (4) children.
I'm strict.

I call myself a single parent even though my ex pays child maintenance.

I'm way too unreliable with friends and family, I cancel last minute. I am trying to stop that though.

I sulk if anyone tells me 'no' or cancels plans last minute.

I want everyone in my house to remove shoes.

I don't wash bedding once a week. I only wash towels once a week.

I always pick up after my loud barking dogs and I drive my big noisy 25mpg diesel 4x4 properly.

I could fill up an entire thread, I'm a right little entitled brat!

I wash my sheets and towels when they are dirty, not after every use like some Mumsnutters.

My bedroom and living room curtains are never open in the morning. They face east, and if I open them before midday the sun is blinding.

Heaven knows what my neighbours think.

I talk to my baby when we’re out and about. Not loudly, but chat to her. She likes it and it means she will tolerate my prowling round tk maxx for hours more easily

Also I found a sling a PITA and never used it
do have a carrier that’s good though
‘pop baby in a sling ‘ was not my vibe

I'm ashamed to admit I DID leave a dog poo in the road...I'd popped out without my usual handbag.

Dog did poo in road.

Looked in handbag to see No poo bags!

No jacket, either, so no bags in pocket.

No other dog walkers about to ask for a bag.

On way home, the poo had gone, probably mired into the road by tyres.

I thought immediately of MN, and now make sure every coat and bag has {Compostable!} bags in them.

Yes to loo brush, having a cleaner (the best thing I ever did, I love her almost more than DP) and smoking.

I can't drive, despite apparently that being a thing to be a fully fledged adult - however I never cadge lifts, public transport is fine with me (DP drives, but I think I've been in our car, which I paid for, about twice since we got it two years ago, it's for his commuting really, I use the train).

I swear a lot. Although not at work unless with like minded colleagues.

I performance parent the cats - the neighbours proabbly find this irritating when I am in the garden, but then I find their toddler's screams irritating, no one says anything and we all take in parcels for each other with no bother.

Bed sheets etc changed fortnightly, which probably marks me down as a wrongun.

I enjoyed my holiday in Dubai even though I’m not from Essex and I’m not working class (nothing gives Mumsnetters the rage more than Dubai because apparently it’s full of working class people from Essex and also slavery).

I don’t care if a casual acquaintance or work colleague invites me as an evening guest to a wedding. I will turn up at 7pm and dance the night away!

Instead of foisting my own taste on you I will give you cold hard cash if you invite me to your wedding because I want you to have something you actually want, rather than something I deem to be ‘meaningful enough’.

I don’t drive (although I do live in central London now - after growing up somewhere very rural) and I don’t think this makes me less of an adult. I actually judge people who drive everywhere and I think the vast majority of them are lazy).

I don’t do any of the things in the OP but I have toilet brushes, wear Pandora jewellery and like Radley handbags. I was also a SAHM and I’m almost entirely financially dependant on my DH. I’m a bad Mumsnetter and I should hang my head in shame - 😆

Don't ever get a dog.

I have however got a mixed breed dog that I paid £450 for (about 7 years ago) and I don't care who knows.

@Motorcycleemptyness I hear you re the laziness/planet badness of driving....I'm zone 5 and don't see the need. I still manage to have a job in central London and cope fine. If I lived there too, well definitely no.

So do I, in fact more that one and I also have a lot of old CDs strung up, very pretty in the sunlight.

I always think this about school parking OP. Every thread on here by someone who lives near a school, the consensus is that the parking situation will always be horrendous because of cheeky parents.

But this is a massive parenting site on the whole - so surely the cheeky parkers are on here?