To ask you to admit doing the annoying things people on MN complain about?

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For an anonymous internet forum, it continually strikes me as odd that people very rarely admit to engaging in the problematic or annoying behaviours complained about on here - it's always someone else doing it, apparently. Whether it's hogging the middle lane on the motorway, having kids who are out of control in public places, being a noisy neighbour or not picking up dog poo, people on MN constantly complain about these things happening around them but if no one on here admits to doing it, who are all these offenders? For example, several people in my neighbourhood are leaving their dog's poo around constantly, but when this is brought up on here every single dog owner loudly exclaims that it it's these dog owners who give them a bad name, that they never go out walking without carrying several bags for good measure! Same with bad driving - people on here love calling out driving pet peeves, but surely at least some people on here are engaging in those very same behaviours e.g. tailgating, driving too slowly or bad parking, that everyone complains about?

Are people on here just squeaky clean or in denial? I admit it, I do hog the middle lane sometimes, there you go 😬

Everyone takes off their shoes when they enter our house.

We have three loo brushes.

I have a cleaner, even though I only work very part time and both DDs are away at university.

I adore driving DH's gas-guzzling Range Rover Sport.

I'm liberal with fabric softener, Zoflora & bleach.

All our duvets are 100% goosedown (unethical?).

By the end of the year, I will have flown 5 times in 9 months.

I tumble dry everything.

We have a Gousto box every week.

I own a 20mpg, modified, loud, boy racer car with an aftermarket exhaust that pops and bangs with gusto. I love it. I do, however, drive sensibly on the public road, mostly because I like my car and don't want to hurt it.

I love a Radley bag or purse.

Adore high heels and court shoes.

The longest I've managed to feed my family of four on a medium sized chicken is three days.

Sounds eminently sensible and thoughtful to me.

My cat roams free. (Like a normal cat).

@FortunesFavour Perhaps I’m missing something but if you’re going faster than the speed limit then surely you’re the one who thinks the rules don’t apply to you?

I don’t drive on the motorway because I’m not a confident driver but I would have thought the speed limit is the fastest anyone should be going.

For legal purposes, this is clearly a joke.

I've hunted animals. For sport.

I make all visitors take off their shoes at my front door - even delivery people.

My husband and I poo in our en suite. I forgot about this particular MN sin until I read this thread.

I am still wearing my skinny jeans.

We only change bedsheets when they smell.

I don't agree with owning pets 🙈

Oh I have the skills to keep slowing down to sit in between two lorries, so people like you can exceed the speed limit without even needing to move into the RHLwhat I don't have is the inclination to assist your speeding.

if the traffic to my left is moving at the speed I'm moving, then I'll happily move over.

perhaps you should avail yourself of the speed regulations.

Oh and we are also landlords and - and bizarrely, feel no guilt at charging market price for the rent, and have absolutely no plans to kindly gift the house for free to someone who doesn't have one.

I have zero tolerance for Gentle Parenting or Attachment Parenting, or any style of parenting that makes your child an annoying pain in the arse for everyone else around them.

I refuse to engage with the whole cis/trans/whatever nonsense. If I'm ever asked to cite on a form what I identify as, I always write 'Goddess'.

We have 4 toilet brushes. How do people with small children function without them?

I cannot stretch a chicken to 3 meals even though there are 3 of us. DH and DS are meat mad. I do get 2 meals usually and I do make stock from the bones as we like homemade soup for lunches, but I have no chicken to put in the soup usually, so they are mostly vegetable ones or I need to poach chicken.

I think some people might call me a performance parent as I am often explaining things to DS, but seriously, he never stops with bloody questions, so it is generated by him!

I like my neighbours on both sides and I'm happy to chat with them if I go out into the garden.

I’m also a performance parent and I don’t drive, because I hate the responsibility of it.

I used to go into the disabled toilet with my pushchair when dd was a baby!

I like going away with friends on holidays 💁... Mumsnet seems to think spending money and annual leave on anyone other than your partner or 'little family' is wasteful.

I used Gina Ford and had babies in a routine from day one. It worked but everyone on MN says it's just luck.

I end up in middle lane - not on purpose but because every time I go into slow lane I get stuck between lorries and vans and have to slow right down to 65mph.

I have my own bank account for my own soends. As have a joint account for house bills. DH is terrible with money & so I need my own account

I don’t wash my bedding once a week. I hog the middle lane sometimes. I have an ultra sonic cat scarer thingy. 😬

God there are some crappy drivers on here. FYI, it is not mandatory to go at 70moh on the motorway, that is the maximum Plenty below that speed in the left at eg 65, and sadly also in the middle at 65 due to all the middle lane hoggers.

Mid-lane hoggers are ignoring the Highway Code, causing others to weave around dangerously, causing tailbacks and accidents. The rules are there for a reason.

I can’t be bothered to explain the motorway driving rules to those who insist this is their right. Go and read the Highway Code and stop thinking g that the rules don’t apply to you.

Also if you can’t cope with mirror, signal, manoeuvre and are talking about being frightened of lane changing due to scary lorries, then you shouldn’t be on the motorway.

Anyway I will stop derailing the thread now.

“speeding lunatics in Audis” - me I head straight to the outside lane and will stay there unless there is someone behind me then I will move to let them past and go immediately back into the outside lane…I’m not even sorry

I always answer the doorbell, every time it rings - but if it's somebody I don't want to speak to, I scare them away by running after them brandishing a toilet brush (and not one that's just out of the dishwasher, either).

I also force myself to poo every time I use a public toilet, even if I really don't need one.

By definition you're not a middle lane hogger if you're in the middle lane but constanty overtaking lorries in the inside lane. A middle lane hogger is someone who stays in the middle lane even when not overtaking. You're a middle lane hogger, and a bad driver, if you stay in the middle lane when there's nothing on your inside, but if you're there because pulling in would cause you to have to slow down and sit between two vehicles you want to overtake then it's not a problem.

I love my en suite.

Shared DNA is not a reason to roll over and capitulate when a family member treats you badly. It should demand higher standards of treatment and behaviour, not lower.

Hot tubs are not the work of the devil, neither are they sex ponds. It's perfectly possible to use them respectfully and without alienating your entire neighbourhood.

The phrase 'boils my piss', doesn't boil my piss. It's beautifully descriptive.

And middle-lane hoggers, boil it.

The 'doorbell' thing is really, really tedious now. Likewise, the loo brush.

I have been known to undertake middle lane hoggers.