Could you raise each child on £80 per week, to include all bills,food etc?

[lasagnesogood]

My exh gives me £40 per week per child to cover all bills except the mortgage for which I pay my own half.House joint owned. He originally agreed to share the expense of big outgoings but never did in the end.I have three kids.Only one of them sees him for one night overnight per fortnight. We will divorce soon.He is recently self employed so I expect he will hide a lot of money etc.He will say that he cannot afford to give me more money to rear the children in court despite enjoying plenty of holidays in the last year and wearing the best of clothes. In your experience, what will the Judge do? I can't afford to rear my children with this amount of money.My weekly outgoings including car loan and sustantial bills is £1200. I have had to use a lot of savings and take out a loan to get by despite working in a high paying job. If he doesnt have the money(or hides it etc) will the Judge increase my equity on our home when it comes to be sold. It is so grossly unafair that he has nothing to do with the kids and pays £120 per week for me to rear them.How the hell is this even legal???????

In mind.

"Rear"
Is a colloquialism here in Ireland, used mostly by older people, but it's in common usage.

Op do your dc qualify for the GP card?

Your child getting disability will get €500 this month.

Costs are high but there's a lot of government help available right now. Make sure you're getting it all.

What's your annual salary? Do you qualify for fuel allowance? You might through your child getting disability.

I live rurally in an old house too. Make sure you're getting the most from your healing system. Sort out draughts etc

Count yourself lucky. Lots of stories of non paying father's on here.

School buses are free this year too.

And don't forget about the 600€ energy credit that every household is getting. That will help too.

Why should she stay in what is presumably an unhappy relationship? That will impact on the children. Better to be single and poorer.

Sounds like he left her for another woman though. Or did I misread?

Under a low-hanging bridge.

Meanwhile in the UK, my child's dental appts cost £0, our recent trip to A&E to have his knee stitched, £0, childhood immunisations £0, my regular drugs post-breast cancer £0, my surgery, chemo & radiotherapies £0, my dental appts £28.

@MintJulia
im in Ireland and there are ways around these costs!

I pay 15 per month pre tax for dental insurance - covers everything
A&E - can be covered by health insurance/medical cards etc
Childhood immunisations and cancer care is free!!!

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread, only OPs posts.

It doesn't sound like a lot no, and whilst your outgoings are high I believe Ireland is more expensive in general than England.
But my ex pays me nothing so otoh it sounds like riches to me!

I've done a rough calculation based on how much extra rent is for a small house + associated bills vs a room on a house share if it was just me. Other bills I split equally between the 3 of us. (I didn't leave any allowance for clothes/activities/presents)
I then took off the amount I get in benefits to see what was left.

It worked out as £74 per parent per week. For 2 DC.

No wonder I'm getting further and further into debt!

@AuntieDickhead it is more expensive here in ways but wages are way higher also!!

Thanks for all the information regarding social welfare.As I am a high earner, on paper,I have never applied for anything ...only advised ro apply for DCa and was awarded same.I never started this thread to complain about medical costs and care for our children but I do find it hard to accept my husband is not legally bound to pay towards weekly expenses, mostly medical that can often amount to hundreds of euro depending on issues at the time and the child they affect.Thanks.i'll leave it there and figure out how I can cut back,based on many words of advice.

So why list them if you don't need to pay them?

@MintJulia becaise you listed them…

OP my ex pays £40 per week per kid and I pay my full mortgage.

I don't have a £500 pcm car loan nor do I pay anywhere close to £400 per month for energy.

You need to downsize, cut down your bills, claim all the state benefits you can and your (nearly adult) dc need to realise that you simply can't afford to fund their lifestyle.

Sit down and lay out all of your outgoings.

Contact citizens advice, get rid of the car for a cheaper model that uses less fuel.

My Dsis's husband pays €75 euro per child to his ex per court order so it might be worth your while taking him to court.

He wouldn't dare miss it as he knows well the courts look badly on non payer who has a order against them.

My friend also recieves €75 with a separate account they both add to €300 yearly for Christmas and school costs.

I have 3 kids. DH and I would be considered a high income household and our bills don't come to that, even including our mortgage and childcare for 3 kids 5 and under!

Posted too soon....

However £40 per child doesn't sound at all reasonable

I'm surprised that you weren't aware of the carees support grant, it is automatically approved on receipt of Dca.

weekly outgoings including car loan and sustantial bills is £1200

what are you spending 5k a month on?

What are the fuel and car payments that are due to the dc?

3 kids so his payment is £520 per month. not much, but I think is an ok amount.
but, if he earns £60K, he should pay more. for the class and other education.

BUT, OP you are spending too much.
4K per month is a lot.
I think maybe the car loan? you should change to a cheaper car.