Could you raise each child on £80 per week, to include all bills,food etc?

[lasagnesogood]

My exh gives me £40 per week per child to cover all bills except the mortgage for which I pay my own half.House joint owned. He originally agreed to share the expense of big outgoings but never did in the end.I have three kids.Only one of them sees him for one night overnight per fortnight. We will divorce soon.He is recently self employed so I expect he will hide a lot of money etc.He will say that he cannot afford to give me more money to rear the children in court despite enjoying plenty of holidays in the last year and wearing the best of clothes. In your experience, what will the Judge do? I can't afford to rear my children with this amount of money.My weekly outgoings including car loan and sustantial bills is £1200. I have had to use a lot of savings and take out a loan to get by despite working in a high paying job. If he doesnt have the money(or hides it etc) will the Judge increase my equity on our home when it comes to be sold. It is so grossly unafair that he has nothing to do with the kids and pays £120 per week for me to rear them.How the hell is this even legal???????

You can’t afford your house - downsize. Why is your phone bill so high. Fuel consumption - that’s loads. Cycling possible? After school
clubs - cut down?

Contact youthreach for your school refuser.

Are they not doing applied exams if they've a learning disability? Which wouldn't require grinds.

You've been together 18 plus years, couldn't you have stuck it out until the youngest is 18? I know there are some single parents doing an excellent job (I was raised by a widowed dad) but generally it takes two parents to financially provide especially as you have 3 kids.

But even with half the mortgage payment it doesn't add up. How much is your mortgage per month?

@luxxlisbon As I said, he pays my half of maintenance in lieu of my half mortgage and tops up weekly.This comes to a total yearly sum of £5414

But £5414 per year is £104 something a week. Not £40 per child? Which is what you said?

And now you're saying your half of the mortgage, is he paying it all?

Thanks @EmeraldShamrock1 The EWO is involved.She has misse dout so much now.She wants to become a mental health worker. Their Dad is unable to cope with their needs and is only really interested in the woman he left us for a few years ago, or money.

None of this makes any sense with the numbers.

Does he agree with the tutoring and other treatments. And also why on earth are you paying for an adults contraception?

You need to calmly go through all your expenses and costs and work out what you can afford, not what you want.

You also need to sell the house as soon as possible so that your costs are lower

I don't know what else I can do to explain his financial contribution suffice to say thatin total, he gives me £5414 for me to rear our children per year.That is all.

Then why did you say “I pay my half”?

And if he pays your half of the mortgage in lie of maintenance then it still stands that he also pays the other half of the mortgage as well?
Do you not see that is helping your housing costs? If you split the house and moved he would only have to pay the child maintenance, but currently he is paying that plus at least lowering your housing costs for a larger home.

Where does the 5414 come from?
You have said multiple times 40pw and 120pw total. 40pw per child is 6240.

You are contradicting yourself quite a lot and it’s hard to actually get a handle on your situation.

Has your maintenance figure been awarded officially or was it a private agreement between the two of you?
How long do you plan to keep living in the house for?

Im still struggling to see where your monthly spend of 5200 is coming from and with no housing cost.

OK. Well then you need to cut costs. Move home, get a cheaper phone etc etc etc

What he does in some ways is irrelevant, you know what the contribution is and you have to budget accordingly.

You can say he is wrong, and rail against the situation, but that's not actually going to change anything.

Then you need to go to a solicitor and work out a financial settlement according to the law of the country you're in.

You could explain how much your mortgage is, and why you said it was £120 a week when it's apparently not?

And you need to work out a way to cut costs, we can't advise you because you're under a different system.

As you are in Ireland do you have a separation agreement?

And if not, then you need to go to a solicitor and start the process.

The Irish legal system is different to other systems, including the UK, and therefore most advice won't apply

I hope people who advocate getting rid of the NHS are reading this.

Meanwhile in the UK, my child's dental appts cost £0, our recent trip to A&E to have his knee stitched, £0, childhood immunisations £0, my regular drugs post-breast cancer £0, my surgery, chemo & radiotherapies £0, my dental appts £28.

We are very lucky. Be careful what you wish for !

Your costs are mental. I live in Ireland so I know what things cost here but your outgoing will be far higher than most other families. You must realise that a lot of families the same size won't even earn close to the €5200 a month that you spend on bills?

I'm just assuming that you're talking in Euros, although you're using the £ symbol, based on your description of costs for GP etc.

Under the Drug Payment Scheme you won't pay more than €80 per household for prescription medication. Can you switch your phone contracts to cheap prepay plans, I pay €10 a month for unlimited calls and data on Gomo.

Not saying that your ex shouldn't pay more but I think you might be a little unreasonable to expect him to half on such unusually high household costs if there's places where you can reduce.

Ffs stop saying rear; they aren’t farm animals.

if you can’t afford your house and car, you need to change them. Your ex doesn’t have to pay for your car; he has to pay towards his children. Which he is doing. His holidays are irrelevant. You need to lower your own expenses to make them affordable for you now you’re a single parent.

Hi I'm irish aswell and it is very expensive for therapies. Do you have health insurance as you can get 70 percent back on therapies with vhi. Also do you have the incapacitated child tax credit.

CM isn’t half of the kids outgoings. It’s much less than that

Seeing as it is so expenSive for you to ‘rear’ your children - one of whom is an adult BTW so wouldnt count in any maintenance - perhaps you should consider letting them live with their father?

Cut down on your bills, no way in hell you need to be spending £1k a week. Grow up ffs, the sheer greed and entitlement of some people is astonishing.

OP I'm reading your outgoings and as a mother of two ASD children I really think you could save money every where.

The contraceptive coil for example would have done under the monthly medical scheme for 80 euro if you signed up for the month.

Private healthcare therapies are covered by up to 70% with private health care, worth it if DC is regularly receiving treatment.

The carers support grant is €1850 per year. an independent non means tested payment, if you get dca you're entitled to it.

An bonus of 500 added this year - you can backdate claim by 2 years.

I done 2 blocks of OT with DS and DD and implement lots of OT at home myself.

You can claim 4 years backdated for the incapacitate tax credit.

To those in shock at the medical costs keep in mine that social welfare and carer payments are much higher in Ireland.

A single non working person will receive 208 euro in comparison to 60 pound in the UK plus low income families are entitled to free medical care.

OP is a high earner.