My dh is 10 years older than me and until now I've never seen an issue with the age gap. We had a baby this year and I have primary age ds from a previous relationship. He's always been a good stepdad, stepped up and helped out where needed but never overstepped the mark.
Since we've had our own baby life has gotten much more chaotic. I especially find it hard to meet the needs of dc with such different ages. I don't want ds to miss out on things but equally it's not always possible to drag baby along to certain activities either. This is where I'd like dh to step in a bit he doesn't. At a push he will look after dd while I take ds out somewhere for a few hours. He has no interest in 'family days out' to places like theme parks etc where one of us could stay with the baby and the other go on rides with ds. He turns his nose up at family holidays like Butlins. He shows no enthusiasm for my suggestions and makes none of his own. He finds problems about how it won't work or it's not worth it. He just seems to have no interest in family life.
He's good at the day to day stuff, cooking, housework etc but it's almost like since having dd and losing our freedom to go out every other weekend (when ds at his dads) he just can't be arsed with anything. He also does the bare minimum of dd care which after 8 months is wearing thin too. I expected to do the lions share while on maternity but unless I'm going out which is incredibly rare everything gets left to me.
I find it so sad that he has such little interest in our family life. I want our dc to have good times and make good memories. It's hard with the age gap but not impossible if we work together. His lack of interest is making him so unattractive to me. Aibu to expect a bit more? I end up just seeing him as a boring lazy old man.