AIBU to still be angry over how my husband buttoned his shirt at our wedding?

[Purplehair22]

I never addressed it with him. Well maybe only in a jokey way.
Long story short - at our wedding my husband got ready with the help of his parents.
for some reason his mum has an issue with doing up the top button (she says it makes men look like snobs) and as a result thought it would be acceptable to let him walk out looking like he’s just travelled here from the 70s. His collar was sticking out his blazer and wide open. Top 2 buttons were undone! I was so stressed I didn’t even realise until I saw the pictures!
I asked him about it the following morning in a jokey way and he said “well mum thought since I don’t have a tie it’ll look better that way”. I mean what???? I haven’t addressed it since coz I don’t want him to feel bad and I know I sound like an absolute f*cking psychoooo but every time I look at our wedding photos all I can see is that ABBA inspired collar!!!! Someone come whack me with a frying pan!

Let’s see a photo of you op.

Sorry inhavent read the whole thread but I just wanted to say that I made my husband do a "fake wedding shoot"..nothing official or fancy just got the kids to take some pics in the garden.. this time my husband wore a properly fitting suit and a shirt with a collar. At the actual wedding he wore a suit many sizes too big and a shirt with no collar (grandad collar?). He wouldn't let me have anything to do with his outfit and I did not like it one bit 😂I did like his fake wedding outfit, but he hated it and had a face like a slapped arse. I'm not especially vain and wasn't at all a Bridezilla I promise..I also love my husband dearly and have enjoyed the marriage waay more than the wedding. But his outfit pissed me right off.

That does look really awful, I would be mortified if my groom had turned up like that. Why was he wearing a white shirt and black jacket, looks like a waiter, but a badly dressed one. I vetted my husbands outfit beforehand anyway, I didn’t think there was any secret over what the groom would be wearing, I would have insisted upon a tie. He hired a suit and it was a good job I made him try it on as the trousers were at half mast and he would have just packed them to go (we got married elsewhere from where we lived).

If this is all you can think of to rant about him then I'd say he's a keeper.

I don’t think posting a picture of Ryan Gosling proves anything, he would look dapper in a bin bag!

Exactly, we can all do that. SEE OP's DH could have looked like this with two buttons undone. I mean he didn't but still.

It doesn’t look great. But if he looked in the mirror and thought it looked good, I’m guessing he’s not great with fashion every other day of the year, so was it really a surprise?

More importantly, is he a good man? If so, the photos don’t really matter. If he’s not, the photos won’t be the issue.

My husband’s suit looked about 3 sizes too big for him. Like a child playing dress up. He’d only tried it on in front of his mum before the day, can’t believe she didn’t suggest maybe going to see a tailor, or better, a whole new suit that fit? So weird. Not sure what either of them were thinking.

But, I’ve only just thought of it again now, it doesn’t keep me up at night or have silently resenting him on a daily basis.

I knew who I was marrying. He’s subsequently looked amazing at other people’s weddings since I pointed it out.

Book yourself a studio photo session, explain you’re not keen on the photos where it’s just the two of you and have some done again. And make him wear a tie! My wedding photos are horrible but I honestly don’t care, they are shoved in an album somewhere and I don’t think about them x

@TheLassWiADelicateAir I totally agree he should've worn a tie, but you can't say 'or buttoned it up' and post a pic of Jake Gyllenhaal fgs 🤣.

Haha😂
Agreed- A buttoned - up shirt without a tie would look bloody odd.

Are you bored OP?

I don't think it does. I don't think Timothy Chalomet, Ryan Gosling or Jake Gyllenhaall look odd in the photos I linked- they all look much better than the OP's husband.

I don't get your point. The 3 pictures all look much better than the OP's picture. David Lynch is another buttoned up non tie- wearer. It's not an odd thing to do.

🤣that does look bad!

@TheLassWiADelicateAir sorry you didn't get my point. My point was that I'd happily have Jake Gyllenhaal present himself with his shirt buttoned up without a tie, or with one, or without anything on but a tie on. I wasn't having a dig.

I think undone is fine but tucked in to jacket and not gaping open like that, it's a bit David Hasselhoff-ish 😆

Agreed!

Sorry now I've seen the photo I changed my vote! YADNBU 🤣

I understand the disappointment but in years to come you might see the funny side of the whole day!

You’re also right about the uneven shave. He isn’t big on that kind of stuff. I’ve actually managed to pull him up a bit on being presentable over the years.

So, again, this was not an out of character thing on the day. He wasn’t a really well turned out guy in general who got to the day and went ‘fuck it, whatever’, he seems like he was always really clueless and you pulled him up, yet you expected him to pull out skills you knew he didn’t possess on the day. Knowing this, and if his appearance on the day was important to you then you should have dealt with it in advance. If he said ‘no, I’m an adult and I’ll dress myself’ you should have said ‘well, that doesn’t work for you generally and while I’m happy with that usually I don’t want to be unhappy with the wedding photos so let’s see what you have organised’. But you did not do this.

I will say, I’m more like your husband. I was standing behind the door when ‘putting yourself together well’ skills were handed out. Most of my kids couldn’t care less and are happy with however I rock up to life events but I do have one who has a real talent for it, puts themselves together exceedingly well, and are similar in that they believe looking good at milestone events and in photos seems really important to them. I’m more than happy for them to ‘preview’ in these situations, shake their head and make me look much better, win/win.

OP imagjne if your husband posted a pic of your wedding dress on the internet and said it makes him want to cry. Would you worry about his stability? Question your choice in partner? Wonder how he was going to cope with the big things in life??

You've spent (presumably) hours and days stressing over the way he did up his shirt a year ago. The collar is not the problem here OP!

There is a FaceBook group called 'Edit my photo'.

Someone clever on there will be able to make your photos look how you want them to look.

You're not alone, there are hundreds of people on there who are unhappy with photos for one reason or another and feel much better when something has changed.

@IWishICouldDance

Hilarious but deeply frustrating.
So typical that someone would say that when you've gone to the trouble of arranging something.