Do you prefer to keep your finances private?

[Lionesscubmum]

For some reason I do not like talking about money. I don't like to tell anyone how much me and dh earn, even my dc. Teenage ds has asked a few times what we earn and I just say it's for me to know. I'm not keen on being asked how much I've paid for things either.

I just feel that it's private but also that it's a bit vulgar.

Dhs parents are always telling us the ins and outs of sil finances (husbands sister). How much they earn, details of what their savings and outgoings are, every detail. I am surprised that not only they know so much but that they keep relating it back to us.

No, I don’t agree that knowing what items cost is vulgar.
Our friends openly discuss pay rises, mortgages, investment plans, childcare costs, holiday recommendations, well priced wine tips etc.
I don’t see any issues with transparency.

100% agree with you. I don't understand why people want or need or HAVE to know, and get all huffy and offended if you don't want to tell them anything. I have had people pry into mine and DH's finances before, and I tell them NOTHING. Why do people think they have a right to know?

I’m the same. I grew up in a household that was firmly “we don’t talk about money or politics” and it’s stuck. I think it’s fine - it’s so personal isn’t it!

That's fine if you WANT to share you personal financial business, but it's people who start getting arsey when you want to keep your private business private that I have a problem with. Mine and my husband's financial business is fuck all to do with anyone else.

I think it's super important to financially educate young people and be able to have open and honest conversations with them. I wouldn't go around telling everyone about my financial situation, but I'll be open and honest with my daughter when she's older to help her understand.

I don't mind vague and general discussion. So acknowledging that childcare is expensive, or that buying something is a treat, or that a certain shop is very reasonable. But I do not want to go into the exact details.

I'm not too sure why but I really dislike it. It might be because in the past opening up about these things has left me open to judgement.

Broadly I think it’s good when people talk openly about income and money, particularly women: secrecy about pay has historically led to women being underpaid for the work they do because they don’t realise colleagues are being paid more or that their peers in other organisations receive higher pay. It’s also important for teaching young people about money management and financial planning. You can speak about income and how you spend your money without bragging about it.

This

How much stuff costs is fine - let's face it, if someone really wants to know they can find out in other ways, even if it is as excessive as asking a builder for a quote to do what you've just done.

But I agree no-one needs to know what we are earning.

I don’t like excess sharing but I think talking to your kids about money is really good for them. My parents never talked about money and I wish they had!

As far as I’m aware none of those things were discussed in OP’s post and not in my comment either so no idea why you are aiming this to me.

And I’m sure secrecy around income and financial priorities is behind most of the tedious MN threads about “SIL and BIL are constantly buying new stuff and going on holiday and having work done to their house but I don’t see how this is possible unless they are committing benefit fraud and making money from drug dealing and in loads of debt because their jobs are X and Y and can’t be that well paid.

Yes I'm the same about politics too. Another topic at the dinner table with in laws. I was always brought up not to discuss it.

It depends - I don't discuss finances with my family at all, that's just how we are. Also, I'm mindful for various reasons, for judgment or expectations as a result.

I do with some friends. Some are more comfortable than others and vice versa. It depends on the relationship and whether our financial situations are similar. It's good to be mindful.

I do discuss salaries with colleagues as it's good to know so we can each negotiate and advocate for ourselves. As women we historically haven't done this as much and have had lower pay as a result. I think people are more open to it now so that the transparency will ensure they are fairly paid.

It's no-one else's business what me and DP earn, anyone asking will be firmly shut down

Finances are strictly private and confidential.

I'm very open about my finances but I'm comfortable being so open - I don't think there are many benefits to being secretive and money is at risk of being a taboo subject, but I'd definitely respect other's privacy and I never pry!

It is vulgar to talk about money

I wish my parents were more open about the cost of living as we were growing up. It was a shock to me when I moved out and all my bills on top of rent more than doubled how much my rent was! I have teenage siblings and often I chat to them about cost of living, how much this and that costs, i take them food shopping with me often so they see how much just my weekly shop is, tell them to save what they can now and advise them to budget for the month, looking ahead, ones recently learned to drive and had a big unexpected car expense so he's learned his lesson to budget for the future in the same conversation I discussed how much he earned (in a simular field to my partner)and spoke about how much my partner earns currently and what steps it took him to get where he is and maybe he needs to look else where for more opportunities to earn more as he's on pittance working self employed for a bloke who's never gave him a pay rise and the work isant the most reliable.

I don't talk to family and friends about what I or DP earn or what our house costs but I have no problem with discussing what individual new items cost.

We talk with our DS17 about our finances, salary etc. I think it's important for him to understand the general cost of living this lifestyle, how mortgages and various types of investments work and have a good grasp of the costs of insurances, utilities and other household expenses.
I NEVER discuss finances outside of the home and find it incredibly awkward when other people do bring up their salaries but that's my problem to get over, not theirs!

I think it's good time talk about finances. We do with ds1 and ds2. It's not vulgar. You don't need to tell friends your exact salary. Most people know. Roughly. With close friends we once discussed how one mum had been on a fabulous cheap family all inclusive, and we all talked about how We'd all previously spent quite a few £k going to a previous destination and that we wouldn't now do that.

I would talk about money with adult children, but not if I thought anyone was spreading round my business

other than that it’s not talked about

It is wierd that you won’t even tell your kids about your finances. Be very careful that you aren’t so silent on it that they learn zilch about money and how to manage it. My parents were very quiet on money, never talked about it. My brother has terrible terrible debt and very bad decision making as he knows F all about how consumer money can work. Don’t make that mistake! X

This. It's not anyone's business. In fact it will bring more leeches to you if you earn alot.