Do you prefer to keep your finances private?

[Lionesscubmum]

For some reason I do not like talking about money. I don't like to tell anyone how much me and dh earn, even my dc. Teenage ds has asked a few times what we earn and I just say it's for me to know. I'm not keen on being asked how much I've paid for things either.

I just feel that it's private but also that it's a bit vulgar.

Dhs parents are always telling us the ins and outs of sil finances (husbands sister). How much they earn, details of what their savings and outgoings are, every detail. I am surprised that not only they know so much but that they keep relating it back to us.

Sad that earning so much that a treat of coffee is beyond your means.

Point proven that is best to keep quiet.
Other people dont get to spend your money

Money and politics are big topics of conversation around our dinner table! Not the specifics of what we earn but our older dc have a rough idea of what we earn and an understanding of why what we do and where we holiday etc varies from one year to the next.
In wider situations, I work somewhere with a totally transparent payscale which I think is brilliant, everyone doing a certain job earns exactly the same money all the way up to the top.
Dh and I wouldn’t sit and discuss our earnings in a group of people. It’s not that it’s a secret, it’s just not the done thing with any of our friends/family, not a topic that comes up. Different to someone asking how much your jumper was or something more trivial!

What's the issue with telling people &/or people knowing? I ask from a place of curiosity as I've never understood the opaqueness around finances in this country.

It's a system designed to keep the lower classes in their place.

Designed implies a conscious decision by someone. Tell me, who sat down and made this decision, how did they implement it, and how is it maintained....?

Personally, I think you might believes there's a conspiracy that doesn't exist....

This....

when I was younger it was sex, religion and politics.

I talk about it but use discretion about it.
I avoid it with gossipy people.
With the kids, it's more about financial education rather than exactly what I make.

This is exactly why I'm very careful who I share with.
People get very petty, gossipy, and jealous.

It’s a well studied area of anthropology and sociology, the rules and etiquette around talking about money in different societies and how they change across socioeconomic groups and cultures. In the UK and the US it’s long been observed that people who think of themselves as upper-middle and middle class are more likely to have a taboo around discussing their finances, and to use terms like “vulgar” - literally meaning “of the common / low class people” to reinforce and emphasise the taboo, that “people like us” don’t do it. Something doesn’t have to be decided by a designated committee and have standing spoken rules to be a system.

Its also well observed that people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds are broadly less circumspect about disclosing specifics about their income, rent, or expenditures, and to feel far less so than people from higher socioeconomic backgrounds that their earned income says something about their personal worth or value - hence feeling more comfortable to discuss their financial challenges and celebrate having found a good bargain or been thrifty.

I really think it is a taboo that doesn't serve women well. I work in the City and the opaqueness of the salary and bonus structure has time and again been found to disadvantage women.

I can fully understand a taboo against bragging, which really is vulgar in my mind, but total secrecy allows for unfair practices to happen. I earn multiples of what my siblings earn so obviously I don't mention my income to them because there is no need to do so but I will make sure my female colleagues are being treated fairly (I have fought some pretty tough battles over my pay and I want others to benefit from that too).