to be fed up at the fact that the minute I walk through my cm's door, her 3 year old dd tells me that my ds has done a b & c

[PanicPants]

I wasn't going to post this, but I've been thinking about it all weekend.

This week I've had

"X has been really naughty today"

"X hit me today"

"X hasn't shared today"

All of it's negative, and my cm has never said to her dd not to do it. And it's said in such a tell tale way.

AIBU? And should I say something?

trip her up ... 3 year olds are easy to trip up

ROFL Twig

Disclaimer TWIGLETT IS NOT A CHILDCARE EXPERT

oR, TURN IT ROUND, AND ASK HER, IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, "aND WHAT DID YOU DO THAT WAS VERY NAUGHTY TODAY?"

pmsl twiglet, can you lot come with me tommorrow?

Seriously though, you lot have made me laugh about it, so I feel better already.

I AM A CHILDCARE EXPERT

I AM

humm, my cm's dd does this if either of them has been especially wicked - eg.
"your dd bit me on the nose today'
It'll only be one thing every few weeks though, so I can't say it bothers me

Sounds very typical of a couple of 3/4 yo girls I know - they can be awful prigs...
Imho, much of this tale-telling is just attention seeking/look how good I am. In which case, turning it back to her might work ' so, what did you do about it'? OR say, 'Yes, he's still got lots to learn from you, hasn't he - did you share anything with him'

Hmm, hard as impossible to make 3 yr old girl shut up on this front, but appreciate it's tres irritating that your CM doesn't say anything. She probably thinks that because your LO's are close in age, you might understand this and not be bothered by it. But, it would pee me off I have to admit. I would just maybe try and ignore her/talk over her and get down to my LO's level and enthusiastically star asking him what fun he had today, or what great things he's done, to show her you're actually much more interested in what your own son has to say then her tittle tattle. If that fails, challenge your CM's DD in hugely exaggerated exasperated comical voice to think really, REALLY hard as to whether he has done anything good or funny today, and then shoot your CM a slightly pointed look whilst doing so. Any help? .

Both great suggestions FP and ST. Thanks.

I find this quite interesting. On a tangent from the OP but inspired by it - when does telling the truth become 'telling tales?' I get myself very confused over this - I will tell dd off for telling tales but I also insist that she tells me the truth - as I wouldnt want her to suffer upset in silence or think that she has to keep stuff from me or I will tell her off. I am not talking about another child being naughty but if they had hit my dd then I would want to know about it (or I would want her to know that she could tell me with no repercussions) Tricky!!

big gym bag over your shoulder

turn round quickly

yup that should do it

she's probably telling you because she has already told her mum and her mum doesn't care (cos she is a tell tale.....)and so you are the one she thinks might!

collection time = wild showing off for parents, usually everyone is tired and it is all very fraught. my cm and us parents have a pact to ignore bad behaviour if at all possible.

Binkle - IMO, telling tales is pointless recounting of a tale/story that really isn't the business of the person doing the telling, and the person telling the tales is doing it for self-serving reasons, not for the greater good. Or something....

binkleandflip - tale telling, for me (at school) is when a child tells a tale on another child SOLELY to get that child in trouble.

i.e., rachel tells the teacher that ben has done x,y, or z, but it in no way effects rachel i.e., rachel hasn't been hurt or wronged in any way - iyswim!

twiglett - you're shocking

making a mental note to put in an advance order for Twig's childcare book!!

I thought the same as bimbim! Was thinking "bowel and constipation"? "ball and chain"?

Ahem, more seriously, I would be privately pissed off but at the same time, if your CM is trying to inculcate manners into her own child she is probably focussing on things like this with her, and the little girl will respond by interpreting your DS's behaviour according to the "rules" she is being taught, iyswim.

For example my friends DD is being potty trained at the moment, and when I see her she tells me how her little brother (2 months) has done a poo in his nappy and she used the potty like a big girl.

She's only 3, IMO too young to understand about telling tales etc.

sorry, should have read bimblin

PMSL at Twiglett. Clearly she is putting lots of thought into this!

but twig, can you imagine her at A&E? Then she'd REALLY have a tale to tell...

[shrill 3-year-old voice] "Yes nurse, Mrs PanicPants hit me with her bag. Yes, very hard. Mrs PanicPants wasn't looking where she was going, was she? Mrs PanicPants needs to be more careful, doesn't she Doctor?" [and on and on and on and on and on and on...]

Little girls (I have two) love the moral high ground, in fact I think it is their favourite place

( can i just say i thought a 'b and c' was some kind of new code word on mumsnet for
a toileting activity!)