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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

956 replies

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:25

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

OP posts:
AintNoThang · 20/10/2022 21:40

Don't be daft.

SynchOrSwim · 20/10/2022 21:41

I don't even notice what brands people in my office are/aren't wearing. It's a bit sad that you're all so aware and so focused on it.

TheMoops · 20/10/2022 21:41

HR won't care what she's wearing as long as it's appropriate for the workplace.

They might care that there seems to be some low level bullying taking place though 🤷🏼‍♀️

whatsdiswhatsdat · 20/10/2022 21:41

bellac11 · 20/10/2022 21:39

This is one of those threads that gets deleted in the end because its a load of rubbish

This.

But on the off chance it's real, please take the matter to HR OP and report back what they say 😂

Absolutely barmy.

XenoBitch · 20/10/2022 21:41

This place is mad tonight, and it is not even a full moon or the weekend.

What is it you want HR to do?

ParentallyUnprepared · 20/10/2022 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 20/10/2022 21:42

My boss drives a fancy sports car

How dare he flaunt that in front of the rest of us!

OP you can't be for real

CheezePleeze · 20/10/2022 21:42

AintNoThang · 20/10/2022 21:40

Don't be daft.

Being daft seems to be a prerequisite to starting threads these days.

alspwjmas · 20/10/2022 21:42

Sure

unfortunateevents · 20/10/2022 21:42

Do come back and let us know what HR say! Perhaps they will provide you with the opportunity to devise a suitable dress code for this woman? Start thinking now what might be acceptable to you all!

Kfjsjdbd · 20/10/2022 21:43

I think before this happened to me I would have said YABU. But since the same thing happened to me - the multi millionaire boss kept leaving his Prada backpack around while telling people in meetings that he didn’t think anyone should get a pay rise to help with the cost of living crisis - and know how it feels now, I’ll say YANBU. It’s shit.

theydontspeakforus · 20/10/2022 21:43

Sure, Jan.

If true (if!!) then you are all utterly bonkers.

Midnights · 20/10/2022 21:43

Why shouldn't she wear fancy things in the workplace?

She's clearly not come in, got a months wage and suddenly been able to afford to buy a bunch of handbags / Rolex's / Cartier bracelets etc.

You sound horrifically jealous - is it because she's young and glamorous? Perfect nails and hair is hardly a crime. Dressing well isn't either!

PreColumbian · 20/10/2022 21:43

People wearing ‘fancy things’ is not an indicator of wealth. Only a very naive or young person would think that. You have no idea of what that person’s life is like or what she might have had to deal with. Stop moaning about her, concentrate on your life and work and you might achieve peace of mind, maturity and a higher salary in the future.

TerfQueen · 20/10/2022 21:43

XenoBitch · 20/10/2022 21:41

This place is mad tonight, and it is not even a full moon or the weekend.

What is it you want HR to do?

HR should frog march her down to George at Asda and demand she dresses like the rest of us plebs, obvs.

FiveMins · 20/10/2022 21:43

The issue OP is that you are under paid. Join a union. Look at strike action. Far more important to get actually change.

mondaytosunday · 20/10/2022 21:44

Since when is wearing designer belts and handbags and being nicely groomed tasteless and excessive? Good for her she takes care of herself and spends her own money on what she wants.
I wouldn't expect those senior to me to dress down just because most of us couldn't afford the same clothes.

strawberriesplease · 20/10/2022 21:44

This is brilliant

Hope it's true and you take it to HR.

Bonkers

RealBecca · 20/10/2022 21:44

YOURE MISSING THE POINT. YOURE JEALOUS.

And watch your back because you say the whole team are thinking of making a complaint...who is going to make that complaint and put their name to it?

At best you or the person leading g the complaint will rightly be told to piss off. Worst case you'll be pulled up for bullying because you're all talking about her behind her back and your employment on that team will be untenable.

Sit down, shut up and do some work.

Snugglemonkey · 20/10/2022 21:44

I am wondering who sets the parameters on what constitutes normal clothes?

I also agree with the pps who called out the bullying of this woman. It is not ok to gang up and bitch about someone because of their clothing.

TheTeddyBears · 20/10/2022 21:44

This is either a wind up or a reverse.

If real just sounds like jealousy to me. She can wear what she wants just because it happens to be designer items that you recognise or notice her nice hair and nails etc. Surely it should motivate and aspire. Don't embarrass yourself going to HR with this!

VladmirsPoutine · 20/10/2022 21:44

So what's the set up? Sort of like she's Jeff Bezos and the rest of you are warehouse operatives? In anycase yabu - as long as she's within the dress code the rest of it is just jealousy. Yes she could demonstrate some EI but realistically what can you do.

Tassen · 20/10/2022 21:44

FGS how ridiculous.
Personally I would enjoy looking at her.
Btw I get most of my expensive/designer stuff off eBay or in the sales maybe your boss does too?
My new Jaeger ballet pumps were £12 when full price was £140.
My Coach handbag was a birthday present was £175 but should have been £500
My new with tags Damsel in a Dress tops I pick up from £5 -£10 off eBay when full price is £60 to £100.

Obviously not as top end as your boss but I know how to get a bargain.
Plus the things I buy have longevity as they're well made.

Habreathmint · 20/10/2022 21:45

You sound ridiculous and jealous. She's clearly qualified for her post that is a much higher pay grade than yours. You have no idea, bar her salary, what her financial situation is. She's worked for her position and can spend her money as she wishes. Work harder and maybe you can afford nice things.

Cw112 · 20/10/2022 21:45

How do you know that these items aren't rented/ bought second hand etc. Why should she apologise to you for what she's worked for and earned by the sounds of things. It sounds like a very unpleasant workplace to be in if that's what you sit around talking about and that you feel she should hide who she is and her sense of style to accommodate you. You are being absolutely unreasonable and id actually go so far as to say that discussing this in that way is bullying behaviour from you and your colleagues towards her.