In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

This thread is hilarious. I cannot imagine what HR will say when you complain that you and your team are jealous of someone .

This is just another post demanding that women dress to please others, albeit a particularly farcical one

You are feeding off each other. You sound like a petty and jealous team to be sitting around bitching about what somebody else is wearing and for daring to do their hair and nails nicely.

And why are you all sitting around moaning about your finances at work. I work in a lowly paid office based team, we are all just above minimum wage and I have not once heard anybody discuss their finances.

As an aside, I have designer handbags and nice watches (paid for during my professional career days 🙂) and I make sure my hair is always done nicely. It never occurred to me that others would even notice what watch I had on or my handbags which is under my desk for most of the day.

Some people have more money than others - simple as that. I've worked in low-paid teams where the part-time colleague working two days a week is very well-dressed because her DH is on six figures somewhere else; or the young person still living with their parents has lots of expensive stuff because after paying token 'board' they have their entire salary to do with as they wish, even if it's modest. That's life.

What does her age have to do with it? So so ageist. You wouldn’t call a manager out for being really old!

I was in very similar position once. I had a job for £25 000/year and my best friend had a business where she was selling pre-loved clothes (not Gucci, but Ted Baker, Michael Kors, etc). She used to borrow me dresses and handbags for a staff days out or parties. There were gossips about me that I have massive salary increase and sleeping with my boss. Think twice before telling this nonsense for HR. My colleagues did and one of them had to leave.

I hope this young lady comes in today wearing fuck me shoes and looking like she's about to swan off to Paris in her private jet!
You sound bitter and twisted OP and the sort of person who won't ever achieve anything in life as you're too busy moaning about what other people are doing
Heres some advice, cut out the moaning and bitchin and concentrate on your own career and worth.

This! Go find another job if this bothers you. Why didn't you apply for her job? You couldn't get it, so next step is to drag her down. You and you team sound like hounds.

YABU, she’s entitled to shop and buy what she wants. So are you. You don’t know her pay is buying those things either. Could be her partners salary, for all you know she supports four families or expensive care fees. There is a culture problem at your workplace though that’s clear. You and your colleagues should look for new jobs tbh!! X

OP is being ridiculous to want to go to HR, she should stop googling the cost of the managers clothes and accessories and stop gossiping about her in the team.

However being upset, disgusted and even jealous about wealth inequality is understandable to me. I think it is the original meaning of immodesty is displayed in this situation. It would be nice if we had less wealth inequality. If those at the top thought about why their employees are struggling and tried to bridge the gap.

What many of these responses show me is that people worship wealth and the wealthy and really believe the more hard working you are the better your pay when that is not always the case. Some of the hardest workers are underpaid not to mention that certain communities still suffer from discrimination in this professional jobs - I.e less likely to get an interview with an ethnic name… And there are not even roles for everyone to be at the top no matter how talented or hard working they are.

Happy to see most people think OP is unreasonable. That she thinks she can complain to HR though didn't come from nowhere. We have a culture which is rapidly encouraging more and more witch-hunting. Careless opinions or vocabulary choices (like using the word woman for example), hairstyles, investment choices, choice of friends, reading material, political parties, eating habits..... all of it. Anything can be jumped on and a case be made for hounding you out. As long as there's a label to hang it on that's fine.

This one was a dud - and we laughed - but had it been something that chimed better with a current moral panic and the boss might not have been so lucky.

PLEASE raise this with HR OP (and then let us know what they say). I could do with a good laugh.

Your issue is not it’s this woman. Your issue is with stagnant wages and the horror show of Tory Britain and what poor political decision making has meant for people like you. Please use the energy you have to address the actual problems. Please don’t mistake the actual problems for what one woman wears…. It really isn’t this woman!

And yes, your posts do read like misogynistic bullying. The cost of living crisis was not made by uppity women or immigrants taking our jobs etc etc. it was made by Toryism. Take your anger there.

I voted YABU because she can spend her wages how she wants. However I find the very obvious designer items really crass and lacking class, I would find comfort that she obviously lacks taste.

PLEASE raise this with HR OP (and then let us know what they say). I could do with a good laugh.

Yes, I’m particularly looking forward to the feedback on the hair and nails aspect and HR will go about asking them to stop being well groomed and what parameters would be put on this🤣.

How dare she not go to work in an Oxfam frock and curlers?
I'm kind of in awe at how batshit the OP is.

Sounds like your gripe is with capitalism rather than your boss. Not sure how much help HR can be with that.

What a bitch, buying clothes and wearing them. Is your department seriously upset because your head of department isn’t wearing Primark gear?

Op needs to go and live in a communist country where they all wear the same and have same wages - surgeon or bus driver.

Ops issue isn’t wealthy inequality. Her problem is with this one woman in particular.

The responses here about the Op bullying a woman for wearing clothes she likes
.
No one has assumed the Op doesn’t work hard. Or said this woman works harder. That’s not what the thread is about.

and heads of departments do not set wages. If op has an issue with wealth inequality, that would be an issue wether this woman wore primark or Parada. She would still be earning 6 figures and op would still be earning what she is. The difference in wages would be exactly the same.

You're all ridiculous and HR would tell you so. I'd be envious of her clothes etc too but not to the extent that I'd try to demand she couldn't wear them. You all need to grow up. If you don't like it get another job.

Mandarinthyme

Thanks everyone, some of the comments are getting silly now, so I’m going to dip out.

Everyone in the team has a heart of gold, all genuine hardworking lovely people. We are very close knit team and look out for one another, which is why we don’t like to sit back and watch someone come in and cause unnecessary upset. I would never dream of bullying anyone, nor is it about jealousy, sexism or anything else!!!

Yes, bullies are a very tight knit bunch of people that stick together.

She is wearing her own clothes! Unless they do not conform to dress code policy, this is a non issue.

Should people stop driving nice cars because there may be others who cannot afford them?

It just doesn’t make sense to me and reeks of jealousy.

I'm HR and I think if someone came to me to report this I'd think them completely bonkers!

I wouldn't go to HR, you will make yourselves look ridiculous. She can spend her wages how she likes and she's dressing appropriately for work. What do you think HR will say- you can only come in with a handbag up to the value of £40 to keep the team happy?