In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

I’m sorry but you just sound bitter and jealous, this isn’t an HR issue this is a yoi issue. There will always be people in life who you meet that will have bigger and better things (in your eyes) it’s how you deal with them.

Sounds like the horrible group of ladies I used to work with who bullied me because I was younger and earnt more money than them - because guess what I applied for a role that was higher paid and got the job.

women can be so bitchy!

Personally, I would concentrate on getting your work done, stop bitching with your colleagues, support your manager and absolutely ignore what she is wearing. It’s none of your business and it’s embarrassing that you would be so jealous and immature. Just get on with your life and stop using the current financial crisis to criticise another woman.

I've worked with people like you and your so called lovely colleagues.
You have a pack mentality and it's you against 'the management'. It makes it worse that she's young and female. I suspect you wouldn't be like this to an older male colleague who was more senior to you.

If it wasn't her clothes it would be something else.

You all need to grow up.

So you would actually report someone for dressing in a particular style, which may have been bought from discount sites or second hand outlets?

You are incredibly jealous and you're team is coming across as a pretty pathetic bunch of people. If anyone went to my HR complaining of this, they'd be told where to go straight away.

Oh my god - the OP doesn't know the cost of what this woman is wearing. Even if she did, it doesn't matter.

I'd be inclined to respond to comments like those with something like "my weekly take home wage is less than the cost of your belt / bag etc - I don't think you understand the position I'm in" If you're feeling particularly annoyed ask her to champion your team and see if she can get your levels reviewed. Managers are able to do that sort of thing - I do it for my teams.

Do that and OP will be straight into HR. For her shitty attitude and rude comments.

This is SO going to be picked up by the Daily Fail

You are seriously considering raising this non issue with HR?!! Fucking hell how embarrassing. And I say that as someone who hasn’t got a pot to piss in.

OP, I’m glad you have colleagues to share the massive financial worries which are mounting by the month and crippling hard working, low paid staff. The stress is all consuming for many of us.
Your Department Head is young, inexperienced in life skills and very silly to be rubbing her wealth in your faces when the pay gap between you is so large. It shows she knows very little about people management if she is flaunting it every day as you describe. Sounds like overkill and it’s possible her boss has already noticed so she might have to learn the hard way to leave her expensive, dress embellishments for occasions other than work.
In the meantime, don’t reward her stupidity by even noticing the daily show from her. Go about your normal business at work quietly ignoring her insensitivity but get ready for her complaints about her sudden tax hike. That’s when you politely suggest she sells her Rolex and handbags to make up the deficit.

@LAMPS1 - so you want a woman shamed and punished because of her style?
That seems unnecessarily cruel.

She’s young and successful. You should be praising her not bitching behind her back.

I used to work in a valleys school in a deprived area where the deputy head would clack along the corridors in her Christian Louboutins.

I felt it showed massive insensitivity and a lack of good judgement - and a questionable personal values system that would be reflected in other areas of her professional life.

one of the reasons I no longer work there! These ‘personal’ choices do have an impact. YANBU.

Op. Your being ridiculous.

It is almost a form of upwards bullying, and discrimination, targeting your line manager because of her age and dress sense.

But, it seems a really negative work environment for you and your colleagues. Is this how you really want to spend your days? Googling the price of a work colleagues clothing?

The thing is, that the wider management will not see your achievements at work. All they will hear about is your negative attitude and jealousy regarding clothing. This won't help you get a pay increase.

I don’t think OP is coming back but I’d be fascinated to know the sector. The woman is clearly independently wealthy or has rich people in her life buying her gifts. You couldn’t buy all of the items listed in the OP on a low six figure salary alone.

Your open posts drips of misogyny.

What does her age? Had to do with it? Or that fact that she is glamorous? You can wear designer clothes and not be glamorous.

You managed to get 2 terms in, straight away, that are only used for women. That are often used to try and undermine women in the work place as suggest they aren’t deserving of their position. To suggest they didn’t get a job on merit.

Men doing the same things is fine because you don’t notice it? It’s because you accept it. If you cared so much about what the men look like, you could sit at home googling their clothes and possessions. But you don’t. Because this is about misogyny.

You're just sat gossiping and moaning about what someone wears. That is bullying.

This is my thought. Your tram are bullying your manager and you need to wind your neck in sharpish.

Surely someone so materialistic with a ‘questionable values system’ wouldn’t choose to work in teaching, let alone in a challenging context, when they could earn much more in another career? There must be a huge back story to this.

@Maireas
Nope, that’s not what I want….and that’s a massive dramatic assumption you’ve made from what I wrote.
But yes, I do feel it’s insensitive to use the work place to show off wealth when there is a massive pay gap in the current economic circumstances which are very difficult for low paid workers.

Oh dear. I work in a school in a deprived area but my sackcloth’s at the cleaners and I’m all out of ashes. What to wear today?

You can get very good imitation Cartier, designers handbags and Rolexes these days. All the designer stuff might be knock-offs. A lot of the highly branded stuff is.

So what, if she’s managed to get the job on a higher salary she can buy and dress as she pleases. Maybe she doesn’t have children so can afford to indulge in designer items. You sound very jealous.

Of course you did. ‘Her boss has probably noticed’ and ‘she will need to learn the hard way’

or maybe her boss believes what she chooses to spend her money on and wear is her choice, as long as she follows the dress code?

Your posts is clearly hoping and predicting that the woman suffers some sort of consequence or punishment for dressing how she wants.