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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pram debacle on the bus

251 replies

bibetyboo · 20/10/2022 15:45

Boarded the bus today with 9mo asleep in pram, underneath of pram half full. In the designated pram area there were a couple of shopping trolleys that had been left by two elderly passengers. The driver asked for them to be removed so that I could fit pram in, but both of them contested that I should not have been let on the bus and ought to have waited for the next one.

The driver looked at me and apologized and I replied that it was fine, I would just stand with her somewhere out of the way (the gangway really). It was pissing down with rain, and buses here come every hour.

Whilst standing with pram, both trolley owners began to mutter, enough so I could hear, about my being on the bus. That I ought to have waited for the next bus, that it's ridiculous as in their day they would have to take the pram down. I was entitled and privileged. Lots of sighing and eye rolling.

At this point I'm fuming. I've let it go, not challenged the trolley parking and am just trying to get home. Acquaintance of trolley owner begins to witter on about how on earth he will get off the bus with 'that woman and her baby'. Trolley owner explains nice and loud, 'she'll just have to get off in the rain'.

Patience. Reached. The bus is PACKED at this point. I ask 'acquaintance' to mind his business and asks both trolley owners why they are so hateful towards a young woman, getting on the bus with her baby, followed by, in the fog of rage, telling them to simply 'fuck off'.

All parties were silenced and the remainder of the bus journey was tense to say the least. It involved a few three point turns and reversing to allow other passengers OFF and ON.

Now I feel terribly guilty that I shouted at an elderly person.

EQUALLY, I've come to realise there is an old sun culture within the elderly or let's say 'older' community. This bizzare disdain for the 'youth of today' who have 'never had it so easy'. Lol, come see me when we remortgage next month (HELP).

Was I unreasonable to tell them where to go?

OP posts:
Danikm151 · 20/10/2022 15:48

Would they have said the same thing if a wheelchair user wanted to board the bus.
sholleys should be moved out of the way. You’re a paying customer, they aren’t ( guessing they have the over 65 pass)

drkpl · 20/10/2022 15:48

No. The area is designated for prams and wheelchairs (wheelchairs having priority). They should have moved the damn trolleys. It would have been near impossible to carry a sleeping baby and shopping while folding a pram.

Cap89 · 20/10/2022 15:50

Ugh that sounds stressful. It probably wasn’t the best thing to tell them to fuck off, moral high ground and all that, but I can understand the stress causing the red mist to descend. They were clearly being really unpleasant. Try and shake it off and enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

TirisfalPumpkin · 20/10/2022 15:50

YANBU to want to travel by bus and not have your child deprioritised behind someone’s shopping. Wait an hour in the rain? Not reasonable.

YAB a bit U to generalise this as the attitude of the elderly. You just met two rude and entitled arseholes, not the ambassadors of their generation.

RainbowsMoonbeams · 20/10/2022 15:50

They were the entitled ones. YANBU.

Asher33 · 20/10/2022 15:50

There's usually storage for trolleys on buses? Can't understand why they couldn't have used that?

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 20/10/2022 15:50

They sound like rude arseholes and I am so glad you said something. How dare they expect you to wait another hour in the cold and rain with a tiny baby!! You were right and they needed to be told. Well done.

Eunoia · 20/10/2022 15:51

Stagecoach advise that if there isn't room you need to take the pram down rather than blocking the aisle like you did, so the elderly passengers were perfectly right to bitch about you in that respect.

YouSirNeighMmmm · 20/10/2022 15:52

Eunoia · 20/10/2022 15:51

Stagecoach advise that if there isn't room you need to take the pram down rather than blocking the aisle like you did, so the elderly passengers were perfectly right to bitch about you in that respect.

There was room, it was being used inappropriately by two entitled old [sentence ends to avoid MN post deletion]

GooseberryCinnamonYogurt · 20/10/2022 15:54

Whatever has happened to good old fashioned values, that is, give and take, politeness, considering others?

The old people, and I'm an old person, were in the wrong.

lentilly · 20/10/2022 15:56

Baby would get injured in a crash. Someone should have let you sit down at the least. Their shopping will survive a smash mostly.

334bu · 20/10/2022 15:57

You are not being unreasonable!!!!!!

AintNoThang · 20/10/2022 15:57

It's not a trolley parking area. It's for wheelchairs and prams.

decafsoyaflatwhite · 20/10/2022 15:58

You were in the wrong to tell them to fuck off, in my opinion. BUT they were being unreasonable in refusing to move their trollies and then complaining about you. They sound awful.

I encounter low level rudeness (not to suggest yours was low level!) from elderly people all the time. I don’t really react to it anymore.

Gloryofthe80s · 20/10/2022 15:58

You did the right thing. Sound like it shut them up and I’m sure they would continue to witter on if you didn’t say anything.

amylou8 · 20/10/2022 15:58

Don't feel guilty, it would have given me the rage too. I remember the days of buggy war on the bus, and my youngest is 20! Well done for standing up for yourself.

lentilly · 20/10/2022 15:58

As for what they did in their day. Irrelevant. Safety has moved on since then.

luxxlisbon · 20/10/2022 15:58

Eunoia · 20/10/2022 15:51

Stagecoach advise that if there isn't room you need to take the pram down rather than blocking the aisle like you did, so the elderly passengers were perfectly right to bitch about you in that respect.

No they weren’t right to bitch about OP, it was their fault OP was in the aisle in the first place because they were wrongly blocking the pram space.

gogohmm · 20/10/2022 16:00

They aren't wrong about pushchairs having to be folded, I had to when mine were young - yes carry shopping, pick up the baby, wrangle my autistic toddler (reins!) and carry the pushchair up five steps (worst designed buses ever) BUT trolleys weren't allowed to block the aisle and they had to be collapsed and put in the luggage area with the buggies. You didn't get the large trollies with 4 wheels

Ginxx · 20/10/2022 16:00

We get the trolleys too in the pram area. I was once informed I had to fold down my pram by the elder lady if I wanted to get on (my DS was very visibly only a few weeks old!) in the end I had to wait for the next one. Now I just walk the 50 minutes to do my shopping as I just can't handle fighting to be in the designated pram area.

justanotherlaura · 20/10/2022 16:00

I'd have moved their trolleys out of the designated pram space, some people get to an age they think their entitled to everything and can say what they want, so rude!

lentilly · 20/10/2022 16:00

I'm guessing there was room for their trolleys elsewhere and were these trolleys shopping trolleys or mobility aids that doubled as shopping trolleys?

Eunoia · 20/10/2022 16:00

luxxlisbon · 20/10/2022 15:58

No they weren’t right to bitch about OP, it was their fault OP was in the aisle in the first place because they were wrongly blocking the pram space.

Yes, but the pram still should've been taken down and not blocking the aisle space - so what they said is perfectly correct and exactly what Stagecoach themselves describe.

Soubriquet · 20/10/2022 16:01

I dont blame you.

I still vividly remember waiting in line with my pram and a pair of elderly ladies actually shoved their way in front of mine and deliberately sat in the designated buggy park despite the priority seats being available.

They then actually sat there and stared me down daring me to say something.

The bus driver knew me by this time and told me not to bother putting the buggy down and just stand in the aisle with it and move if I needed to.

They looked really disappointed that they weren’t getting a fight.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/10/2022 16:02

It's worth bearing in mind that the four wheeled sholleys are frequently used as discreet mobility aids. Just like buggies can be.

Doesn't change people being a dick verbally, but looking at the sign directly opposite me right now, there is no mention of it being anything other than a wheelchair area that buggies can use if unoccupied but could have to fold when the bus is busy - so it's not a wheelchair AND buggy space.