Pram debacle on the bus

[bibetyboo]

Boarded the bus today with 9mo asleep in pram, underneath of pram half full. In the designated pram area there were a couple of shopping trolleys that had been left by two elderly passengers. The driver asked for them to be removed so that I could fit pram in, but both of them contested that I should not have been let on the bus and ought to have waited for the next one.

The driver looked at me and apologized and I replied that it was fine, I would just stand with her somewhere out of the way (the gangway really). It was pissing down with rain, and buses here come every hour.

Whilst standing with pram, both trolley owners began to mutter, enough so I could hear, about my being on the bus. That I ought to have waited for the next bus, that it's ridiculous as in their day they would have to take the pram down. I was entitled and privileged. Lots of sighing and eye rolling.

At this point I'm fuming. I've let it go, not challenged the trolley parking and am just trying to get home. Acquaintance of trolley owner begins to witter on about how on earth he will get off the bus with 'that woman and her baby'. Trolley owner explains nice and loud, 'she'll just have to get off in the rain'.

Patience. Reached. The bus is PACKED at this point. I ask 'acquaintance' to mind his business and asks both trolley owners why they are so hateful towards a young woman, getting on the bus with her baby, followed by, in the fog of rage, telling them to simply 'fuck off'.

All parties were silenced and the remainder of the bus journey was tense to say the least. It involved a few three point turns and reversing to allow other passengers OFF and ON.

Now I feel terribly guilty that I shouted at an elderly person.

EQUALLY, I've come to realise there is an old sun culture within the elderly or let's say 'older' community. This bizzare disdain for the 'youth of today' who have 'never had it so easy'. Lol, come see me when we remortgage next month (HELP).

Was I unreasonable to tell them where to go?

YANBU People on the bus can be so rude. I had similar situations when my eldest was small, by the time I had dc3 I only used the carrier for the bus but obviously not helpful when you need to stow shopping etc in the pram.

They were rude and in the wrong, but you are being ageist in assuming this is an "old person" attitude, as opposed to a "nasty person attitude".

I would not recommend folding your pram on the bus. Both times I have tried this the driver has impatiently sped off while 'm stood up, pram half folded, baby in one arm, sending us flying 😡. And I was really careful to get a pram that could be folded one-handed for just this purpose. Just don't.

I swear some people just react angrily to the sight of a woman with a baby in public. No patience, no empathy, nothing.

Not on our buses there isn't (stagecoach). There used to be before we could push prams and wheelchairs on.

They were nasty trolls - I'm glad you stood up for yourself, do not feel guilty in the slightest!

Well done you.

Don’t feel bad! You had a young baby asleep, it was raining and the next bus was an hour’s wait. They all sound like totally obnoxious idiots, so don’t give them another thought.

If I’d been on the bus and heard the way they treated you, I’d have told them to pipe down.

I think the old dears thought you should have done this. 😉 They were being very unreasonable.

You did right op. You stood up for your baby.

Well done you. #notalloldpeople but many of them do seem to be entitled old gits

Back in the days when they were of an age to fold their pushchair, there literally wasn't a space for it on the bus - from front to back, the bus was filled with rows of seats. There may have been a small luggage area under the stairs. So it's really not comparable.

It's not a space for trolleys
It's for wheelchairs then prams if free
YANBU.. They were very rude

Agreed! I'd have told them to fuck off too Op!

Now I feel terribly guilty that I shouted at an elderly person.
Why? They've been around long enough to learn manners, but have failed to do so.

The curmudgeonly fuckers wanted you to get off the bus to wait in the rain for another hour - for no reason at all bar smallmindedness & spite.

Congratulations OP, you did well to stand up for yourself.

You lost your temper and swore - not advisable, but they sounded a couple of old fucks.

I was sitting on a COMPLETELY empty bus a good few years ago when two older, but perfectly mobile, able-bodied women got on and ordered me to vacate my seat, just because it had one of those 'priority for elderly and disabled' stickers above it.

Just being old doesn't make you nice. Complete c get old too.

you were totally in the right all the way up until the moment you used the F word. Should have carried on ignoring them until you got to your destination, or asked the driver to intervene if you really couldn't cope. They were in the wrong, not you.

I'm sure you'd consider me to be old, but it wouldn't occur to me that my shopping trolley should get precedence over a pram. How dare they suggest a mother and baby should get off the bus to save them moving their trolleys.

You were very restrained, I think I'd have slung their trolleys off into the rain.

Whatever age they were, they were rude!

I definitely don't think this applies to all of the elderly. What I meant by a sub culture

Instinct tells me they would have done

What the fuck is wrong with saying "fuck off" to rude & hostile people?

Women - here is a prescriptive list of what you are Not Allowed To Do ...

This sounds like a straightforward case of too much 'stuff' to fit in the space available. In which case the options are

1. if there is any other space available, use that - so if there was space big enough for a trolley but not a pram then the trolley should have moved. But if not
2. make the 'stuff' smaller to fit in the available space. Trolleys aren't usually collapsible but prams may be so the pram should be collapsed.

In the absence of any definitive ruling about the priorities of prams v trolleys I think the trolley owners can be forgiven for relying on the good old British first come first served. They may well not have been able to put them anywhere else, either because there was no space or because they were unable to lift full trolleys into whatever space there was. They might have had the grace to be apologetic about it though.

Well back in the day when we had to fold down the pram their bloody trolleys wouldn't have been able to be there taking up space either. Idiots

I avoid conflict, feel uncomfortable when there’s any drama and try and peace make all the time but they were horrible!! They learned nothing from all of this and will be going mad over you again but definitely don’t waste your time worrying- how mean were they saying someone should get off in the rain. Make sure you put your feet up tonight op and have any form of a treat x

How do you fold a pram that is full of stuff (you'd have to empty it) whilst holding a baby who can't stand unaided? It doesn't work when you are on your own. People who suggest this are either stupid or have never had a baby.

YANBU