Pram debacle on the bus

[bibetyboo]

Boarded the bus today with 9mo asleep in pram, underneath of pram half full. In the designated pram area there were a couple of shopping trolleys that had been left by two elderly passengers. The driver asked for them to be removed so that I could fit pram in, but both of them contested that I should not have been let on the bus and ought to have waited for the next one.

The driver looked at me and apologized and I replied that it was fine, I would just stand with her somewhere out of the way (the gangway really). It was pissing down with rain, and buses here come every hour.

Whilst standing with pram, both trolley owners began to mutter, enough so I could hear, about my being on the bus. That I ought to have waited for the next bus, that it's ridiculous as in their day they would have to take the pram down. I was entitled and privileged. Lots of sighing and eye rolling.

At this point I'm fuming. I've let it go, not challenged the trolley parking and am just trying to get home. Acquaintance of trolley owner begins to witter on about how on earth he will get off the bus with 'that woman and her baby'. Trolley owner explains nice and loud, 'she'll just have to get off in the rain'.

Patience. Reached. The bus is PACKED at this point. I ask 'acquaintance' to mind his business and asks both trolley owners why they are so hateful towards a young woman, getting on the bus with her baby, followed by, in the fog of rage, telling them to simply 'fuck off'.

All parties were silenced and the remainder of the bus journey was tense to say the least. It involved a few three point turns and reversing to allow other passengers OFF and ON.

Now I feel terribly guilty that I shouted at an elderly person.

EQUALLY, I've come to realise there is an old sun culture within the elderly or let's say 'older' community. This bizzare disdain for the 'youth of today' who have 'never had it so easy'. Lol, come see me when we remortgage next month (HELP).

Was I unreasonable to tell them where to go?

YANBU

I had this a couple of weeks ago. My response was my baby is a passenger , your shopping trolley isn't

They muttered & bitched about me for a few stops until my own grandma got on the bus & told them to quit it

YANBU - it's for prams and wheelchairs not trollies. I would have told them to fuck off and would have tipped their stuff over on my way off too.

In there day as they put it there wouldn't have been room for them trolleys on the bus. I wouldn't expect elderly ladies to move for me though. Just like I wouldn't expect a wheelchair user to. What I don't get is why do people get big prams when they know they will be relying on public transport? Get one that folds easily.

I rarely used buses when my children were small anyway. At 3 1/2 my autistic son was walking 3 miles to nursery and back. We have to walk into town to get the bus and by then we were half way to nursery. We walked mostly if I had to much shopping to carry on the pram I would get a taxi. Not often about once every two weeks.

When I was about 6 months pregnant I got on a bus from Preston station to my brother's house. I counted 15 buggies in total get on that bus all folded without a fuss. It was just part of having a child nobody complained. It was wheelchair users that campaigned for the right to accessible public transport. Don't jump on me but I don't think it's right that prams should be allowed on. The wheelchair space should be reserved for wheelchairs.

Well back in the day we'd throw the shopping and the baby at any passenger who was happy to help 🤣 and they'd have had to put their trolleys up out the way

People with shopping trolleys on buses are one of my pet hates, especially the people who sit in the aisle seat of seats for people with mobility problems so that nobody can sit in the window seat. I don't think you were ruder to these people than they were to you , and they were rude first. TBH the driver should have sorted them out.

Love this - grandma wars!

Good on you for speaking out, even if it got sweary. What kind of people tuts about someone who is literally standing right there when they haven't even impositioned them??

In this instance the old people were rude but the thread is ageist. I have seen lots of what I call buggy wars on buses with rows about how many buggies can get on the bus, whether someone with a suitcase, trolley or shoppings can stand in that area or sit near it. In most cases it is the young mums who are rude.

There is nowhere else for luggage or shopping on buses. Elderly or disabled people cannot carry too much. Mums often only travel a short distance on the bus. I think a disabled or elderly person should get first option of getting on a bus if the bus cannot accommodate both, when it is only a short journey. Everyone should be polite and compromise.

How do people expect old or disabled people to shop? A basic state pension does not allow for taxis. We need more buses and different bus designs.

I had similar OP and it's horrible.

The only light was that some teenage girls really challenged the woman who was being awful - "Why are you being so mean to that lady?" They didn't get an answer but I felt less alone - and really grateful!

Sounds like the space is for pushchairs not shopping trolleys or luggage.

Pram should of been taken down.

I have this every single day on the nursery run. The same ten or so bus pass holders every single day without fail get on before 9am before the pass is valid, and argue with the driver when they can be bothered to stop them marching on. The reason the pass is valid after 9, is because before that the bus is filled with people who NEED to be somewhere - school, work, nursery drops. They do not NEED to be on the bus before 9 so they can fanny about in marks and spencer cafe.

They are outraged when there is no space for their trollies or that there are no free priority seats, and hold the bus up every fucking day complaining to the driver. One woman insisted I should squash my two year old on my lap, and presumably my backpack and nursery bag which were on my lap could balance on my head. She was politely and firmly told no.

Folding a pram and holding a baby will also only work if you can then sit down to keep the baby safe. If no one gives up their seat then its not an option.

I wonder if they would have acted in a similar way if it was a man with a pram!!

@Eunoia

"Regardless, she easily could've taken the pram down, which is what you're supposed to do. Both as wrong as each other in terms of bus etiquette and rules."

The OP was not supposed to take down her pram as hers was the only pram onboard the bus and should have access to the allocated space!
Not all prams are 'easily' taken down, for instance my pram has a chassis and base therefore would take up more room folded and is in 2 pieces. Shopping trolleys are the same as shopping bags, only with wheels. They should be kept beside the passenger if there's room or in a luggage compartment if one is provided, not blocking access to a designated wheelchair/pram area.

Far too sensible and reasonable.
It's interesting too how many of the vile ageist posts talk about the spaces being there for "prams and wheelchairs" as if that's the priority.

Still, the whole bus clapped and cheered I expect so the OP got what they wanted.

God people can be so rude on the bus!

I needed to get on once with a pushchair to pick my son up from school - there were major delays so only one bus every 20 minutes - and people in the buggy space where shouting 'you can't get on, there's no space, get the next one.'

Driver had to tell them to move.

Some people just live to be difficult!

They shouldn't have had there trolleys in the pram space!!

Wheelchairs.

That sounds so stressful, OP. I agree that it was regrettable (but relatable) that you lost it and told them to F off, but otherwise I sympathise. They sound very unreasonable and just plain selfish, from your account.

I know that people are individuals, whatever their age, and I'm NOT trying to generalise, but I know that even my lovely, kind-hearted, walkover of a mum became very self-centred in her very last couple of years. Some old people become almost child-like in their perspective and can come over as very selfish.

Hope I can avoid this....but I guess you lose self-awareness.

Wheelchair space.

@Wetblanket78

A lot of buses now days have one large proper space for a wheelchair, and another space specifically for buggies.

Buggies absolutely belong on busses. You usually can’t fit a wheelchair in that part

The odd time I got the bus I used to fold as soon as I seen the bus coming. When I had my daughter I had her in the pram as well as an autistic toddler on reins. I had a wrist rein attached to the reins strap so had both hands one to hold baby one to fold buggy.

I was'nt silly enough to expect to go on a bus with a big pram. All ok nobody died but was also not daft enough to take the bus with heavy bags. I would get a taxi for that. Yes before we had online shopping.

there is but its quite hard to reach for an elderly or disabled person. i use a trolley but for me its a mobility aid, as my neuromuscular issues (Functional Movement Disorder* *and possible fibro) make it harder for me to carry much. and i cannot reach up or down very well.

You are very nice, from me they would get simple f*k of. Sometimes people need to be told that they are not Kings or Queens.

Shame you swore at them. Keep a cool head, be business like, don't let yourself down by swearing.