Pram debacle on the bus

[bibetyboo]

Boarded the bus today with 9mo asleep in pram, underneath of pram half full. In the designated pram area there were a couple of shopping trolleys that had been left by two elderly passengers. The driver asked for them to be removed so that I could fit pram in, but both of them contested that I should not have been let on the bus and ought to have waited for the next one.

The driver looked at me and apologized and I replied that it was fine, I would just stand with her somewhere out of the way (the gangway really). It was pissing down with rain, and buses here come every hour.

Whilst standing with pram, both trolley owners began to mutter, enough so I could hear, about my being on the bus. That I ought to have waited for the next bus, that it's ridiculous as in their day they would have to take the pram down. I was entitled and privileged. Lots of sighing and eye rolling.

At this point I'm fuming. I've let it go, not challenged the trolley parking and am just trying to get home. Acquaintance of trolley owner begins to witter on about how on earth he will get off the bus with 'that woman and her baby'. Trolley owner explains nice and loud, 'she'll just have to get off in the rain'.

Patience. Reached. The bus is PACKED at this point. I ask 'acquaintance' to mind his business and asks both trolley owners why they are so hateful towards a young woman, getting on the bus with her baby, followed by, in the fog of rage, telling them to simply 'fuck off'.

All parties were silenced and the remainder of the bus journey was tense to say the least. It involved a few three point turns and reversing to allow other passengers OFF and ON.

Now I feel terribly guilty that I shouted at an elderly person.

EQUALLY, I've come to realise there is an old sun culture within the elderly or let's say 'older' community. This bizzare disdain for the 'youth of today' who have 'never had it so easy'. Lol, come see me when we remortgage next month (HELP).

Was I unreasonable to tell them where to go?

When they initially refused to move trolleys, I wasn't really concerned. I just thought, pick my battles. I can stand here. The brakes are on. Who really cares. What aggravated me what the persistent goading from the trolley 1. Trolley 2. And acquaintance 1.

You've got a seat? Your trolley is safe? Good for you!

Why goad me? I've not challenged you and the bus driver relented after the first try.

It's embarrassing. That's why I told them to
F off. Rallying other passengers such as acquaintance 1.

I was nervous to empty pram, remove baby and collapse with one hand on a moving bus. Forgive me if that's hard to believe!

Without question I would have got off the bus for a wheelchair passenger. In fact, I would have stood on my head for the sake of the people mentioned in my post - until the goading started.

See this is what I hate! On our buses there is no space for you to put your pram down. They removed all luggage tray things where you used to be able to fold and put them down.

I never go in the disabled bay unless I have to and if a disabled person come on I'd happily get off for them to get on. But the buggy bay being used for shopping trolley really pisses me off. Most shopping trolley unless they use those stupid square metal ones can fit behind a seat.

I don't think YABU and actually think they were being entitled assholes.

I am not being ageist. It's a behavior I've noticed among SOME older people. I said - SUB culture. It's a genuine observation about a pattern of behavior I've experienced over last 9 months

As can be seen from this thread, you'd better make sure you don't get old then.

But what would you have done if there were no seats free? How would you have stood with a folded buggy, baby and toddler in a safe way?

And not every mum with a pram is out shopping. Some of us are out with our big buggies because we have to go to work. Or should I somehow shit out more money and get a taxi every single day so god forbid, a mother is not an inconvenience to the general public?

They think we're easy targets so they feel all brave. Like fuck would they talk like that to a man. I was told off once by an elderly woman for using one of the priority seats with my young child and a baby. I pointed out we had just as much right to use it and we were there first. (There were enough seats available and she didn't have any obvious mobility issues.) She ignored me and continued with the bollocking, so I ignored her too. It was embarrassing though, I kind of wish I told her to fuck off like the OP. People like that feel emboldened if you don't cut them off.

Have this regularly in my area, luckily most drivers tell the elderly quite simply they need to move their trolleys. I have once moved one myself to put my daughters pushchair safely in the spot after they refused to move it themselves. Driver then told them they couldn't leave it in the walkway and they had no choice but to awkwardly and uncomfortably sit with it for the rest of their journey. That spot is designed for pushchairs/wheelchair users and if needed by those should be cleared, simple as that.

There was room, but shopping trolleys were in it and they were refusing to move them. That is completely unacceptable frankly. They were in the wrong, not OP. If anyone needed to get off and wait in the rain, it was them.

@PAFMO actually most buses only have one space for a wheelchair as it has to have the back rest part on it. The other space is for buggies. Wheelchairs actually can't go in the other space as it isn't safe for them 👍🏻

And we are all expected to stop driving and get public transport. Don’t think so.

You may want to educate yourself about hidden disabilities.

YWNBU. They had it coming and I would have said the same. They were counting on you not saying anything due to the face they were older and two of them with friends on board. Driver should have made them move their trolleys or refuse to move until they did.

I would complain to the bus company, tbh.

Irrelevant? She was entitled to the seat as much as the woman, hidden disability or not.

People are missing the key thing here, the driver asked them to move the trolleys. It’s not an abstract discussion, the driver looked at the situation and asked them to move the trolley so it is logical to assume it here was an alternate place for them or he would have told OP he had no room for her.

OP ignore the people calling you ageist you’ve clearly explained what you meant. I bet a lot of those posters crying it don’t care when it’s the other way round 🙄 Even if there was reason for them not to move the trolly they’re rude as fuck for sitting there bitching about you! They got what they deserved back.

I do appreciate that buses are different in different areas, but these days the majority where I am have generic spaces for wheelchairs as others upthread have said. No wheelchair user, then anyone can have the space.

No she wasn't.
Disability is a protected characteristic, thankfully. Legally. Having a child on a bus isn't.

There are ways of putting people in their place without swearing.
Just choose your words and be assertive. Sounds awful otherwise.

I’d have told them to fuck off too so don’t blame yourself or feel bad. Some people are just entitled .🤷‍♀️

It's the same legal area as disabled spaces in supermarkets and parent and child spaces. One a legal requirement, the other a courtesy.

The priority seat is for pregnant, elderly or those with babes in arms (or those less able to stand, including hidden disability).

Having a seat on a bus isn't a legal requirement.

Being older doesn’t excuse their rudeness.

Aargh I feel your pain op. I lived in London when my dd was a baby and had this all the time.

@PAFMO

Wasn't concerned about the seat. I can stand. Issue only refers to pram space. Not my round bottom.

I got on the bus a few weeks ago with a very full pushchair. A few stops after an elderly woman in a wheelchair came on with her husband and naturally I did my best to fold the pushchair whilst holding a one year old.

This elderly couple kept apologising for inconveniencing me, moved to the edge of the wheelchair bay so I could fit the pushchair next to the woman and the husband even tried to help me off the bus when I was getting off.

You are massively generalising. If anything I think the elderly are more friendly and helpful on public transport.