Give advice to the poster above you, wrong answers only

[TerfQueen]

Inspired by so many posts here lately where the replies are utterly batshit and wildly presumptive, give the poster above your terrible advice!

Extra bonus points if you can turn their question / AIBU into a personal attack, whilst deriving totally speculative presumptions from the little they’ve wrote.

I’ll go first.

My next door neighbour would like to plant some flowers along our boundary line, AIBU to let him plant the flowers? Husband says he prefers the neat lawn without flowers along the edging

I’m concerned that the dogs will end up with PTSD (post-trampoline stressed dog)

Erm I smell a troll! Money for a big posh back garden but having to klarna your Waitrose essentials range edible salad flowers? What next, no brioche in Sebastian’s lunch box for school?

Benefits cheat or troll, calling it now!

Have reported you to MNHQ so they can get your IP address and report you to HMRC

You are clearly "that" family on the street, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect our cul-de-sac to look nice. I earn £50,000 pa (white collar worker here) and if your smoking feral children stand on said trampoline to stare into our garden I'll install garden sails and send you an IOU.My Nan warned me about your sort of people.

(This one has ended me 🤣🤣🤣)

@MrsLargeEmbodied use it to water the plants on OP's boundary line?

no more Fking chicken please

Do come back and update us OP, sending hugs

So sorry @TerfQueen Do not engage with @HariboReckoning /Big Tits, she is just trying to get information. Throw your DH belongings in trash bags and out of the house and tell him to leave. He will follow the 'script' deny, and try to make you doubt your sanity. Do not fall for it, you have all the evidence.
Do you have a support network? Now is the time to get a friend to take you and your children on holiday.

update

Well Nigel has shit on the carpet again (husband, not the dog, dog Nigel currently at the vets after being diagnosed with post traumatic trampolining) I’m £75 down because big tits has lured my husband away and the kids are refusing their truffle hummus with edible flowers. I just can’t cope anymore.

Now next door are blasting reruns of woman’s hour from the radio 4 iPlayer and I don’t even think they have a tv license after Barbara (not real name) dobbed them in for fraud and they had to sell the Vauxhall Astra.

I don’t have support, my “best friend” tried to force me on a 2 week tropical holiday so I’ve gone NC and both my parents are narcissists.

Im trying to talk to Nigel about all of this but I think he’s got something wrong with his bowels he’s just screaming to call 999 but I told him I’ll call 111 because they can fast track him an ambulance but not until after the twins are in bed. Honestly had enough now.

WOMEN’S hour?
excuse me but how dare you have the audacity to assume their gender

would hubby be screaming in agony in front of his boss or his mates?Thought not. Don't give in, OP, we're here for a hand hold. Lemon juice and zoflora are great for cleaning up after a ruptured colon, and if he starts to DARVO,

leave his bits in a bag and gather all your ducks in a row under the trampoline

Advice please:

I’m thinking of returning to teaching. I love the teaching aspect but not paperwork or dealing with parents. Plus the dailymail comment section gets me down. What do you advise? Should I just try to grow a thicker skin and manage my evenings better?

nah
dont be a teacher,
why dont you troll the daily mail instead <<Glares>>

where has teachign ever got us?

useless profession imo. Teaching will be obsolete by 2030, when all learning will be done online go YouTube and Roblox. Have you considered a job in an area you know nothing about and will probably hate but will pay so much that you can cry about it in a big house?

@LiveInSunshine good advice from @TerfQueen Just get a job that pays more! And don't come on here to lament your poor choices. No sympathy from me.

I’m thinking of returning to teaching. I love the teaching aspect but not paperwork or dealing with parents. Plus the Daily Mail comments section gets me down. What do you advise? Should I just try to grow a thicker skin and manage my evenings better?

It’s important to enjoy your job, do the teaching bit, bin the paperwork. If a parent appears tell them to go fuck themselves because you’re BUSY! Brush up on your hacking skills and take the DM website down at least 3 times a week to help you cope, also get some aquious cream for your skin. Sorted.

I just want to be clear though, @TerfQueen I have never charged for my hussying, I genuinely thought Nigel loved me and my humongous melons. I am distraught here, he’s obviously a callous charlatan. There must be some explanation for the £75 going somewhere else?! I would immediately suggest taking a sharp pair of scissors to every item of clothing he owns, and also telling that neighbour to plant flowers over every inch of your garden.

That made be laugh with the serious start

Why only one job? You should have two or three jobs to support yourself.

Use your time better!

PS. this thread is great!

I need some advice.

I am a stay at home mum (my children are in their 20's). My husband earns £25,000 a year so we are struggling.

I always see my neighbours leaving for work in the mornings and on the weekend they do their weekly shop.

Would IBU to wait until they are taking the bags out of their car to rugby tackle them and steal the food?

Gosh, I think you need to assess why you get easily emotionally involved in threads so easily. Or is everything ‘great’? It must be so exhausting for others dealing with that level of emotional overload throughout the day.

(even as a joke I’m struggling to be mean and straight making this up 😜)

Oh no, that’s fine. Sorry for my previous post implying you may go to far and overact in day to day situations. Try combing the rugby tackle with a distraction technique if they are generally in good health.