Give advice to the poster above you, wrong answers only

[TerfQueen]

Inspired by so many posts here lately where the replies are utterly batshit and wildly presumptive, give the poster above your terrible advice!

Extra bonus points if you can turn their question / AIBU into a personal attack, whilst deriving totally speculative presumptions from the little they’ve wrote.

I’ll go first.

My next door neighbour would like to plant some flowers along our boundary line, AIBU to let him plant the flowers? Husband says he prefers the neat lawn without flowers along the edging

There's a difference between being hard work and having boundaries. Why are you so insecure?

Thanks everyone! I knew I was right just needed some rational, helpful, outside perspective. DH has said I’m selfish and unhinged, so I did some digging and found out that a week last Tuesday when he said he was stuck in motorway traffic he sent an email to someone called “BT” about an ongoing unresolved “connection” issue? He’s cheating isn’t he? Obviously this “bt” is code for something, and the connection issue is he is missing sex with her? Anyway once I’ve put the twins to bed I’m going to text friend and tell her the friendship is over, I’m not a doormat. Then I’ll confront husband. Thanks for the support I’ll update xxxxx

Wow you’re so strong! Have my first ever LTB.

It's a neighbours one. We moved into our new house last week and our neighbours are really beyond the pale. They seem to use their garden between 12-4 on a weekday. It's disrupting my wfh. What should I do?

This is the tip of the iceberg @TerfQueen if your husband speaks in codes with this bt woman this is not a new relationship. It might have been going on for years or even decades, check your bank statements for money transfers!

is it hurricane season in bora bora
i bet she is trying to do you in

@Puffalicious
have you got a rottweiler?
or bow and arrow?

Came here to say the same thing. With the greatest respect OP, is English your first language?

@TerfQueen I’m so sorry!!!!!! The ‘connection issue’ he mentioned is the fact that he’s married! I just found out, I swear, I had absolutely no idea. He put me under ‘BT’ as he affectionately calls me Big Tits. I didn’t know, I’m so sorry, how can men do this?! 😩

with the greatest respect?
how very dare you
where is the respect?
just provide me with a magic chicken and i will stay
message me for my address

Oh my god thank you so much for this! I’ve just looked on his banking app and yep. There it is! £75 a month every month, for the past EIGHT years. I’m stunned, heartbroken, just can’t believe it. Some months he’s even told me to watch my spending and stop buying Waitrose edible salad flowers and the whole time he’s been sending “bt” money under the sickening reference “services” I can’t believe this

I want my £75 back! You do know your hussying has literally taken Waitrose salad flowers out of my children’s mouths!!!!!

I’m really going through a tough time right now but couldn’t read and run, this is the saddest thing I’ve ever read on here I’m so so sorry 💐 Have they got a sex pond in the garden?

Get a dog with a good loud bark and leave it out in the garden all day. That will teach those wankers to sit out in the sun! A rescue dog is best. You can ask for one with severe separation anxiety. But you will need to banish your husband to the sofa in perpetuity so the dog can sleep in your bed.

I say this gently OP, but have you ever wondered if you have ADHD?

A Dick Head Daughter? I have wondered but apparently she’s just spirited and cheeky 🤷🏼‍♀️

OMG I JUST LAUGHED AT THIS SO HARD I ALMOSR WOKE MY 2.5yo and 16mo 😂

Are those ‘essential range’ salad flowers or the expensive duchy ones? Honestly can’t even stomach how insensitive and parent shaming this thread is to those on low income. I’d have to Klarna salad flowers to spread the payments, it’s not fair my kids being deprived just because I’m not able to work currently because I’m a carer for a one eyed pigeon that’s taken residence in our backyard. (TW for anyone who doesn’t have a back garden- I know how lucky we are). Anyway DH says we should just pick some daisy's from the garden and tell the kids to eat around them but yesterday I saw him eat an entire chicken breast AND some crisps for his lunch so honestly I think he’s a compulsive eater and he’s probably just worried about his self control with edible flowers in the house. No he doesn’t work a very physical job btw and he’s just a bit above average size so there was no need for all those calories.
I'm going to have a chat to him tomorrow, after I Klarna the edible flowers.

no more F**king chicken please

@TerfQueen

I'm worried about what motivated you to start this thread.

Are you OK hun... do you need to talk to someone maybe?

Happy , perfect people wouldn't be spending their time posting online

I would ask Prince Andrew,he doesnt sweats at all. Even when its really hot in Nandos in Guildford

Do you need to talk to someone about your Chicken issues? We are here for you hun xxxx

Or you can LTC now.

Thanks so much, all. I don't see a sex pond, but I wouldn't put it past them as they already have a BBQ- disgusting and so anti-social- and I think they have pampas grass in their front garden, so it could be the main swinging house for the estate.

I think I'll try the bow and arrow and involve the teens. I'm appalled, really.

I think involving the teens is outrageous, what kind of mother are you to make the kids sort out your problem and take the jail time for it.

Clearly you haven't considered the obvious solution which is to install a rock band in your garden, preferably on a trampoline stage. Point the speakers towards your neighbours and get the rock band to bounce up and down on the trampoline as they play and report back on your neighbours swinging activities. If that doesn't work, plant bamboo....

Tut, do you not realise the mark of a great council estate is a trampoline in every garden?
(preferably with a Staffie bouncing around on it. )

Forcing your dog to perform circus acts on a B&M trampoline? Wtf is wrong with some people. Literally everyone knows staffies prefer synchronised swimming, that’s why you always see them in pairs.