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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Give advice to the poster above you, wrong answers only

654 replies

TerfQueen · 20/10/2022 10:37

Inspired by so many posts here lately where the replies are utterly batshit and wildly presumptive, give the poster above your terrible advice!

Extra bonus points if you can turn their question / AIBU into a personal attack, whilst deriving totally speculative presumptions from the little they’ve wrote.

I’ll go first.

My next door neighbour would like to plant some flowers along our boundary line, AIBU to let him plant the flowers? Husband says he prefers the neat lawn without flowers along the edging

OP posts:
Notjusta · 21/10/2022 11:26

PuttingDownRoots · 21/10/2022 10:33

AIBU. I live next to a school. Our neighbours have seven kids (but thats another thread!) at the school, and they drive the 10m from their front door to our garden so they don't have to walk as far. In my day we had to cross a mountain ravine on a tightrope to get to school!

Also the noise from the school is atrocious. Today they had bells blasting out and the whole school in lines on the field!! The schools been there a hundred years, surely they know how to evacuate by now?

WIBU to get the school closed down?

You are in the dark ages. Everyone knows now that safety is paramount. What if those kids got abducted or run over on that 10m walk? I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd caused that.

But also you should start a petition.

Futuristik · 21/10/2022 12:57

AIBU. I live next to a school. Our neighbours have seven kids (but thats another thread!) at the school, and they drive the 10m from their front door to our garden so they don't have to walk as far. In my day we had to cross a mountain ravine on a tightrope to get to school!

Also the noise from the school is atrocious. Today they had bells blasting out and the whole school in lines on the field!! The schools been there a hundred years, surely they know how to evacuate by now?

WIBU to get the school closed down?

YABU because the children are the future. I think it's likely the mother of the 7 children has some form of SEN which is why she is unable to utilise cars and contraception properly. How about lending a hand instead of coming on the internet to complain about your struggling SEN neighbours? Lovely 🤔

JamTartLover · 21/10/2022 13:55

PuttingDownRoots · 21/10/2022 10:33

AIBU. I live next to a school. Our neighbours have seven kids (but thats another thread!) at the school, and they drive the 10m from their front door to our garden so they don't have to walk as far. In my day we had to cross a mountain ravine on a tightrope to get to school!

Also the noise from the school is atrocious. Today they had bells blasting out and the whole school in lines on the field!! The schools been there a hundred years, surely they know how to evacuate by now?

WIBU to get the school closed down?

YANBU!

There are too many schools and not enough children to fill them. Get the school closed down!

Thehonestbadger · 21/10/2022 14:13

PuttingDownRoots · 21/10/2022 10:33

AIBU. I live next to a school. Our neighbours have seven kids (but thats another thread!) at the school, and they drive the 10m from their front door to our garden so they don't have to walk as far. In my day we had to cross a mountain ravine on a tightrope to get to school!

Also the noise from the school is atrocious. Today they had bells blasting out and the whole school in lines on the field!! The schools been there a hundred years, surely they know how to evacuate by now?

WIBU to get the school closed down?

Same, I live right next to a school. Well…I live in a town that has a school in it.
It’s private though so all the kids are flown in via helicopter or private jet. I knew about this when I bought my house for £100k bellow market value because it was directly beneath the school flight path but now I actually live here I blame all those posh c*s for my choices and generally for the fact their parents have so much money.

Privates schools shouldn’t even exist, they should make them all send them to the local comp. Especially the foreign students, the government should FORCE their parents to still pay £60k a year to send their kids to the ‘improvement needed’ local comprehensive or maybe they should just take the private schools off the private schools and make them all comprehensives. I know the government can’t afford to put enough pens in classrooms but I’m sure they could take over maintenance costs for those stately home buildings, swimming pools and stables, right? Right? If not then just keep forcing the parents who were originally paying to keep paying even though the school is now a comprehensive and my kids are going for free. Seems the only logical solution.

amIITERFenough · 21/10/2022 15:41

AIBU or is DH
i'd really value some unbiased opinions here.
I've just had twins a boy and a girl.
Both DH and I work in a well known store in the household products department.
As a tribute to my favourite vacuum cleaners i want to name the twins Henry and Harriet. I've even used my discount to put by one of each fur the twins 21st birthdays.
My DH disagrees and wants to call them Dyson and Shark. Shark fir the girl naturally.
In my view these are just Johnny come lately products and cannot compete with classics like Henry and Harriet ( plus i've bought the hoovers!!)
Who is being unreasonable here???

Futuristik · 21/10/2022 15:42

@Thehonestbadger finally someone with logic. However entry should not be free access to all. Places should be allocated according to how much class the parents have got. Not pandering to anyone who can flash a bit of cash at them I.e. all the Gucci-clad nouveaus. I'm sure your DDs will get in because you obviously have more grace and class in your little finger than these types have in their vast tacky estates. In fact that is also how money should be allocated, regardless of profession. We should meet for a coffee and put the world to rights.

Futuristik · 21/10/2022 15:43

AIBU or is DH
i'd really value some unbiased opinions here.
I've just had twins a boy and a girl.
Both DH and I work in a well known store in the household products department.
As a tribute to my favourite vacuum cleaners i want to name the twins Henry and Harriet. I've even used my discount to put by one of each fur the twins 21st birthdays.
My DH disagrees and wants to call them Dyson and Shark. Shark fir the girl naturally.
In my view these are just Johnny come lately products and cannot compete with classics like Henry and Harriet ( plus i've bought the hoovers!!)
Who is being unreasonable here???

Dyson-Henry and Shark-Harriet. Sorted.

Original poster
TerfQueen · 21/10/2022 18:04

amIITERFenough · 21/10/2022 15:41

AIBU or is DH
i'd really value some unbiased opinions here.
I've just had twins a boy and a girl.
Both DH and I work in a well known store in the household products department.
As a tribute to my favourite vacuum cleaners i want to name the twins Henry and Harriet. I've even used my discount to put by one of each fur the twins 21st birthdays.
My DH disagrees and wants to call them Dyson and Shark. Shark fir the girl naturally.
In my view these are just Johnny come lately products and cannot compete with classics like Henry and Harriet ( plus i've bought the hoovers!!)
Who is being unreasonable here???

I’m sorry op but he’s clearly gaslighting you. He sounds abusive. You need to contact women’s aid and make plans to get out. Has he always been this controlling? You need to log into the banking app and have a good look, men like this are always paying for sex with ungodly women, it’s all part of the handbook. Good luck op, you have my 29474939th LTB

OP posts:
HariboReckoning · 21/10/2022 19:31

I think I need some advice, I’ve been struggling with this all day. I can’t help that men (and some women) are mesmerised by my mammoth mammaries 😢 I mean, they reach the town centre five minutes before the rest of me, they’re visible on satellite images! Am I being unreasonable in expecting the government to supply me with moveable scaffolding so I can get about? It’s only fair right? I’m struggling with my hussying because my back’s in bits 😫

kingtamponthefurred · 21/10/2022 20:23

HariboReckoning · 21/10/2022 19:31

I think I need some advice, I’ve been struggling with this all day. I can’t help that men (and some women) are mesmerised by my mammoth mammaries 😢 I mean, they reach the town centre five minutes before the rest of me, they’re visible on satellite images! Am I being unreasonable in expecting the government to supply me with moveable scaffolding so I can get about? It’s only fair right? I’m struggling with my hussying because my back’s in bits 😫

Have you considered transitioning? You could get them chopped off.

FirewomanSam · 21/10/2022 21:23

amIITERFenough · 21/10/2022 15:41

AIBU or is DH
i'd really value some unbiased opinions here.
I've just had twins a boy and a girl.
Both DH and I work in a well known store in the household products department.
As a tribute to my favourite vacuum cleaners i want to name the twins Henry and Harriet. I've even used my discount to put by one of each fur the twins 21st birthdays.
My DH disagrees and wants to call them Dyson and Shark. Shark fir the girl naturally.
In my view these are just Johnny come lately products and cannot compete with classics like Henry and Harriet ( plus i've bought the hoovers!!)
Who is being unreasonable here???

Twins? Clearly a troll post.

Futuristik · 21/10/2022 21:31

I think I need some advice, I’ve been struggling with this all day. I can’t help that men (and some women) are mesmerised by my mammoth mammaries 😢 I mean, they reach the town centre five minutes before the rest of me, they’re visible on satellite images! Am I being unreasonable in expecting the government to supply me with moveable scaffolding so I can get about? It’s only fair right? I’m struggling with my hussying because my back’s in bits 😫

Mesmerised by your mammoth mammaries, eh? Hairy fingers alert!!!

Wauden · 21/10/2022 21:54

Henry and Harriet are surely names no longer in fashion and you will blight their lives forevermore. Do keep up. Just get a labrador to lick off the dust.

Starsinyoureyes13 · 21/10/2022 22:05

Personally think we should all bypass sending the kids to school and just send them all to a remote island at about age4 so they can learn to fend for themselves. Then we will have more money for ourselves, clean spotless houses and be able to go the sweety cupboard and it will be full of sweeties. Mho

Wauden · 21/10/2022 22:34

Sweeties? A whole cupboard full? Don't you care about the obesity epidemic at all?

My problem is that DH and I have been arguing for hours about: my cleaner took the 50p that I left out. Should I call the police?

amIITERFenough · 21/10/2022 22:38

Wauden · 21/10/2022 22:34

Sweeties? A whole cupboard full? Don't you care about the obesity epidemic at all?

My problem is that DH and I have been arguing for hours about: my cleaner took the 50p that I left out. Should I call the police?

Blatant showing off.
Exploiting I'm presuming a povert stricken woman who may or may not be cis.
Leaving enormous amounts of cash lying around tempting those worse off than you.
This is stealth boasting at its peak

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 21/10/2022 23:14

amIITERFenough · 21/10/2022 22:38

Blatant showing off.
Exploiting I'm presuming a povert stricken woman who may or may not be cis.
Leaving enormous amounts of cash lying around tempting those worse off than you.
This is stealth boasting at its peak

Show quote history

You don't need 50p for your prepayment meter, don't be so ridiculous, use the povert as a heated throw🙄

Wauden · 22/10/2022 21:07

I used the poverty-stricken cleaner as a throw over me and DH, as you suggested. However, she objected! My husband says that its a great idea, which I am not happy about. What should do?

HariboReckoning · 22/10/2022 22:41

kingtamponthefurred · 21/10/2022 20:23

Have you considered transitioning? You could get them chopped off.

Show quote history

Have you considered transitioning? You could get them chopped off.

Thank you, I can’t believe it took me so long to work it out, you’re a genius. Apparently there’s a 25 year waiting list for the boob removal, but I’ve made a start: I changed my name to Pete, demanded everyone uses he/him pronouns, swaggered a bit, and hinted at a pay rise. Got a few funny looks, but there’s always some bigots 🤷‍♀️

Futuristik · 22/10/2022 23:01

I used the poverty-stricken cleaner as a throw over me and DH, as you suggested. However, she objected! My husband says that its a great idea, which I am not happy about. What should do?

Suck it up and remember who provides the 50ps.

Futuristik · 22/10/2022 23:23

Thank you, I can’t believe it took me so long to work it out, you’re a genius. Apparently there’s a 25 year waiting list for the boob removal, but I’ve made a start: I changed my name to Pete, demanded everyone uses he/him pronouns, swaggered a bit, and hinted at a pay rise. Got a few funny looks, but there’s always some bigots 🤷‍♀️

You can still be a man and have books fgs. Don't be so transphobic.

Futuristik · 22/10/2022 23:24

Books... boobs! BOOBS!

Limosella · 22/10/2022 23:44

I find all the posts about being well endowed in the boob department very offensive. I was known as clapperboard at school due to constant attacks of the fanny gallops and being so flat chested. I think the lot of you are utter utter whores

Futuristik · 23/10/2022 01:33

I find all the posts about being well endowed in the boob department very offensive. I was known as clapperboard at school due to constant attacks of the fanny gallops and being so flat chested. I think the lot of you are utter utter whores

Oh, Clapperboard, that's you! I'm Emma, remember me (and my gigantic norks)?

Limosella · 23/10/2022 03:47

Futuristik · 23/10/2022 01:33

I find all the posts about being well endowed in the boob department very offensive. I was known as clapperboard at school due to constant attacks of the fanny gallops and being so flat chested. I think the lot of you are utter utter whores

Oh, Clapperboard, that's you! I'm Emma, remember me (and my gigantic norks)?

Sob, you're so cruel