Checkmate For DD

[TheShellBeach]

Reminiscing...........,,,twenty years on:

I recall when DD was thirteen she told me once that she was ill, so I let her have the day off school. Despite having had a "terrible headache and awful period pains" she recovered remarkably quickly and I realised by mid-morning that she'd been having me on.

The next day she asked me for a note to give her teacher, so I wrote the following:

"Dear Mrs. X,

DD was absent from school yesterday because she was pretending to be ill. My investigations suggest that this was very likely because she had failed to do her homework the night before.

Yours sincerely,

The Shell Beach"

Mrs. X was delighted with this missive and apparently pinned it on to the wall in the staff room. DD was less delighted when she discovered what I'd written, but she never tried that one on again.

I saw your previous post before it got deleted for being abusive. Do you think you're in a position to lecture people?

There’s a lot of ground between being perfect, which no one is, and deliberately showing up your children and enjoying it.

It is such a sad life if you are so happy to humiliate your own children

This.

Thank you @WokingOrNot For stating a simple truth.

I cannot understand parents who share the OP's attitude, and I find no humour in humiliating anyone's children, but particularly not my own. It is the OP who should have "lightened up" when her own DD pulled a sickie.

Says the poster who thinks the dullest most self congratulatory pretend note in the world is funny. I suggest you try to watch some comedy online and experience actual humour 🍪

I think you’re reading a bit much into it by suggesting I ONLY got respect from my mum on this occasion when she lied…that’s not the case. There’s obvs a bit more to it (a bigoted teacher who had targeted my family in the past….and the lesson that the odd white lie to save ones ass in a minor situation is not always a bad thing) but it’s OPs thread so I was just sharing a quick anecdote.

Absolutely. As if the dd would hand that in or any decent teacher would display it in the classroom wall.

This is why, whenever I set a detention, parents complain and tell me that their child didn't do it, or if they did it was my fault/the schools fault/another child's fault.

Jesus! why do so many people get so upset about a light hearted post!

If you saw it then you’d know it wasn’t abusive 😂 I was asking why someone I don’t know, who doesn’t know me, is asking for creepy info about my children and mother! It’s a hill I’ll die on, if Mumsnet want to delete that then it’s up to them!

Which comedian do you suggest? Open to ideas seeing as I’m so terribly broken and laughing at all the wrong things.

Are we allowed to like Ricky Gervais still?

As if that automatically means anything. My mother knows very little about me. She knew even less when I was a teen.

If you want children to be injured just say that. If you want disabled children to be even more isolated from school play areas just say that.

If you think that note in the op is roll around funny then I’d think something like Mrs Brown’s Boys would hit the spot nicely. Or maybe watching the snooker with the volume turned down would tickle you. Equal levels of funny as far as I’m concerned.

Oh very secretive are we! What's behind this then? FFS!

I went to school in the 70s. I was terrible at maths, just couldn't get it. Secondary school maths lessons were absolute hell on earth. We did the SMP maths scheme . We used to borrow the relevant answer book from the library so my dad could help me with the homework hell and we could check we had finally got it right ( couldn't cheat and just write the answer because you had to show your working out process). At parents evening my father ( Chief Educational Psychologist for the county we lived in ffs) wanted to bond with my maths teacher so he told him all about getting the answer book from the library. Oh what a jolly jape. You wouldn't think maths could get even worse. I dare ge and the teacher laughed and laughed. Teacher didn't laugh with me he belted me on the head with his fist and sent me out of the room, having told everyone what my dad had said. Parents are shits sometimes

@outtheshowernow yeah! Just admit you want kids to wreck themselves😂😂😂😂

This was my first thought too. OP will now have a reputation as a bit of a weirdo in the staffroom.

Not that I believe the story for a second anyway.

I actually don't know what you mean, and I don't feel superior.

You said "we can pretty accurately tell the age of posters on this thread by their responses!"

I thought by that you meant that those who are old enough to know Adrian Mole well would get the reference and thus get the joke, and those who don't know Adrian Mole would not get the joke.

That's all.

My name might be a give away… but… I’m reeeeeally not into men in dresses. 👀

Stick to the snooker with the volume turned down then. Compared to op’s note it’s a fucking riot.

Well that's a lie. You name called and insulted and it was undeniably abusive. It was gone before I finished reporting it.

Clutch your pearls harder!

I called her demented, I stand by that! If anyone came up to me and asked for personal information about my kids I’d call them worse than that.

All I'm saying is that just because you're a child's mother it doesn't mean you know them better than anyone else.

Don't see why that's so controversial. Or why it suggests that I'm secretive.

(FFS.)

Lets face it. On MN you can say nothing right. One day someone posts that they have won the lottery and everyone is full of congrats, another day someone posts that they have won the lottery and everyone accuses them of bragging and being insensitive. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't here.