Checkmate For DD

[TheShellBeach]

Reminiscing...........,,,twenty years on:

I recall when DD was thirteen she told me once that she was ill, so I let her have the day off school. Despite having had a "terrible headache and awful period pains" she recovered remarkably quickly and I realised by mid-morning that she'd been having me on.

The next day she asked me for a note to give her teacher, so I wrote the following:

"Dear Mrs. X,

DD was absent from school yesterday because she was pretending to be ill. My investigations suggest that this was very likely because she had failed to do her homework the night before.

Yours sincerely,

The Shell Beach"

Mrs. X was delighted with this missive and apparently pinned it on to the wall in the staff room. DD was less delighted when she discovered what I'd written, but she never tried that one on again.

Well said. Could have written that myself!! I despair at the generation of softies parents are raising.
Protected from anything that might "upset" them.
I know a few teachers who have quit the profession because the slightest "correction" of poor behaviour brings in parents ranting and raving because the teacher told them off

Wouldn't teachers also despair at a parent who can't get her own child to school and writes to them about it? What is the teacher supposed to do, go round every morning to get kids out of bed?

The OP should have parented her own child and once she realised her child wasn't ill or that she had improved enough to go to school she should have sent her to school. Surely when she was OK by mid morning that would have been the best thing to do rather than letting her have the rest of the day off.

Well said. I am more old school in my parenting style.

Some people on here sound absolutely bonkers to me.

I've definitely done something similar for PE.
I was someone who always tried to skip PE and being overweight and hating exercise as an adult I didn't want my children also ending up like me. So I'd always say "yeah, of course I will write you a note for PE as long as I can write the truth - which is that you just don't want to do it"
They just cracked on and stopped asking me to write one.
I can't say whether it was this or something else, but they both have a much better relationship with diet and exercise now.
I like to think I helped a little, but maybe it was just a coincidence.

That's not the same as what the OP did. Doing the equivalent of what she did would have you letting them off PE and then writing to the teacher the next day to say they just didn't want to do it.

@ancientgran Its why I said "similar" and not "the same"

It isn't really similar though is it? You gave them a choice and they made a decision. The OP let her daughter stay at home when she could have been at school and then tried to embarrass her with her teacher.

Can't see any similarity.

Gosh. Poor op.

I stopped my DD[about 14 at the time] from always nearly missing the bus, by telling her if she kept doing that, she would have to walk to school[a few miles].
She missed it.
She had to walk.
She got half way when her gran happened to be going into town and gave her a lift for the other half.

DD always tried her best to catch the bus from that day forward.

Now, I would have driven the car behind her to make sure she was safe. But I would still have made her walk.

It does children no favours to avoid knowing the truth, or to think that other people will avoid knowing the truth. I would hope it wouldn't come to that but once you are in a position where you know it's true, then tell it like it is.

Slow clap for nastiest post I have ever read on Mumsnet.

im a teacher too and find these are the best kind of parents to have. Those that lie for their kids don’t see the damage they are doing! A United front goes a long way in building positive relationships with kids because they learn you are also there for them and not against them.

OMG these responses! 😂
God forbid a teenager learns a lesson.

Are you kidding? It's more "God forbid a parent gets criticism or someone doesn't laugh at a joke I find funny, now listen while I make up three paragraphs of bollocks about the upcoming collapse of society".

Are you new here?

OP: seriously, what were you THNKING? You taught your teenage daughter that there are consequences to her behaviour? What, were you trying to raise a responsible young adult and encourage her to make good choices and take responsibility for her actions? That's clearly unacceptable. Next time, storm the school and rip the teacher a new one for daring to give your daughter homework.

Why are these the only two options? It’s possible to raise children that are responsible without trying to and enjoying showing them up or ‘ripping the teacher a new one’. Thankfully most parents in real life are reasonable and wouldn’t do either of these things.

Another Boomer congratulating themselves on their subpar parenting I see.

Another mumsnetter judging one’s entire parenting ability based on one post 🤣

Well, it's the post op chose to share with the nation, tbf 🤪
She's clearly very proud of it.

This thread is hilarious. I'm so glad my kids are older now, I would hate the thought of them growing up in school nowadays with kids wrapped in cotton wool and parents who need a dictionary to understand the word discipline.

My mum pulled stunts like this all the time. Ultimate humiliation stuff and she's brilliant. So funny and so loved! Can't believe the number of people on here who think this is "bad parenting" 😅😅

I think it depends on the child.
As as child myself I would have been OK with this, but I think both my sons would have been crushingly embarrassed, one in an eye-rolling, you're not as funny as you think you are Mum, sort of way and the other would have hated being made the object of a joke.
That's not to say either of them can't take a joke, but not in a school situation.

Another lazy, ageist stereotype, I see

8 years ago?
Anyway, I still find it odd.