Checkmate For DD

[TheShellBeach]

Reminiscing...........,,,twenty years on:

I recall when DD was thirteen she told me once that she was ill, so I let her have the day off school. Despite having had a "terrible headache and awful period pains" she recovered remarkably quickly and I realised by mid-morning that she'd been having me on.

The next day she asked me for a note to give her teacher, so I wrote the following:

"Dear Mrs. X,

DD was absent from school yesterday because she was pretending to be ill. My investigations suggest that this was very likely because she had failed to do her homework the night before.

Yours sincerely,

The Shell Beach"

Mrs. X was delighted with this missive and apparently pinned it on to the wall in the staff room. DD was less delighted when she discovered what I'd written, but she never tried that one on again.

@TerfQueen

you sound either drunk or unhinged or both

Comedy is down to personal tastes surely?

Unless I’ve missed something and we’ve all been mandated to find the exact same things hilarious and everything else must be fucked into the bin of shame where if you laugh you’re judged and ostracised.

It's genius.

Says the woman who hangs about on mums net asking strangers to give personal details about their relationships with their daughters and mothers? 😂

You haven’t explained why you believe you have any right to ask? OP wasn’t asking for advice, you’ve no need for “extra info” and you had NO reason to ask me if I have children or if I have a nice relationship with my mother!

You’re a weirdo, or a creep. Whatever, take your pick.

Down to personal taste maybe. Here’s a joke for you ‘I went on a bus and it was big it was a red bus HAHAHA.’

It’s from my son’s comedy style when he was three. And (even accounting for personal taste) it isn’t funny. There’s just nothing funny about it. Same as op’s note - there is nothing funny about it. It isn’t clever or witty. It’s just a random note that as a teacher would be really weird to receive.

And it’s not really a great ‘win’ to have over your child. It’s poor and lazy parenting, which makes me think the op is (in addition to not being funny) a bit lazy and stupid too.

Good grief

Very surprised at some of the outraged responses. I thought it was pretty funny.

Is it? Maybe you have an incredibly low bar but I would think genius is overstating that more massively. I think it’s stupid.

By far the most "judgement" (read: offence and opprobrium) on here is coming from people who are offended that not everyone thought this was funny. One of them can't even keep track of who she's insulting.

Man this thread is ridiculous.

My mum was pretty lenient (used to let us have one "free" day off school per term) but still we sometimes felt the need to skive of behind her back, and I'm still quite proud of some of the lengths we went to to do it without getting caught (our nan lived next door and one of her windows overlooked one of ours, and you could hear movement through the walls, so we had to be really sneaky to avoid detection).

But nevertheless, this note is pretty funny. As a teen you know when you skive off that you're running a risk of getting caught. The onus is on you to try not to. If you get caught out, it's your own fault. In this case her mistake seems to be not maintaining the act all day.

The daughter didn't even get a cruel and disproportionately harsh punishment. No harm done.

It was the teacher who publicly humiliated the girl, not the op.

You are my idol!

I quite often feel miraculously better when I've treated my headache/period pain with a painkiller. No need to shame anyone, particularly your own child

Do you think THIS is funny?

Why are you resorting to insults and attacks on someone for not sharing your sense of humour?

Do you think this is what stand ups do when they do a failed set?

That's true. For all we know the note was pinned up in the staff room for teachers to laugh at a parent who couldn't deal with her own child.

No one says anyone has to find it funny! But it’s way below the belt to take a single anecdote and then harass op to supply them with details of the relationship with her daughter, call her abusive and neglectful and a lazy parent! If you can’t see how that’s bizarre and entitled behaviour then that’s on you, if you need to carry on down the line of “it’s not funny” then power to you, but you can’t deny it’s demented to demand op provides personal insight into her home life

Also when you’re rested. There’s a big difference between waking up with horrible period symptoms and knowing you need to drag yourself out to work/school and relaxing on the sofa.

People don’t really like to admit/accept how bad period symptoms can be and how uncomfortable they can make you though. It’s quite sad.

Very happy that overwhelming majority think that this was not funny, not a win and not something they would ever do to their own teen daughter

@ancientgran

I bet it was. That’s the only reason I’d keep a note that weird from a parent. I definitely wouldn’t be pinning it up for hilarious comedy reasons because the note is just daft, overly pompous in a tee hee hee look at me way, and out of touch with the parent-teacher relationship. I’d keep it to laugh at the parent.

I like this suggestion

That is not true. Such things were definitely happening in the 2000s (I know, because I saw them). Teachers need a laugh, too.

@TheShellBeach You're on a losing wicket on MN if you try to be even remotely lighthearted. Bringing up snowflakes is a very, very serious business.

Dearest Theshellbeach,

I suspect that if you actually tried parenting your child, instead of humiliating her, you wouldn't have needed to write that note.

I'm glad you're not my mum.

If this brings you happiness then I can only wish your life gets better and you find some joy outside of Mumsnet. 🍪

Exactly. I have one child who suffered from migraines/headaches (it was due to jaw issues which were eventually solved by surgery which couldn't be done till she stopped growing.) On several occasions I'd phone school and say she wasn't feeling well but was having a drink and something to eat (raising blood sugar and hydrating is good) and a couple of paracetamol and I'll get her in later if she's OK.

By midmorning she'd be feeling much better and I'd get her to school.

I parented her, shame the OP couldn't parent her child with out going running to Miss to sort it out.