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Original poster

Don't understand why some people are so unfriendly like this

155 replies

Cheesecakeitalian · 19/10/2022 11:00

Started a job in a new place yesterday, I saw a woman on the train this morning who I'd recognised from yesterday. So I smiled at her and she just looked at me blankly, fair enough she probably didn't recognise me.

Anyway then I was in the staff lounge and there's a huge U shaped sofa with tables which was totally empty. So i went and sat in the corner.
She came over with a flask of tea and a sandwich and just went "Oh I'm sitting there."
The room was almost empty, she could have literally sat on the same sofa with one of the other tables or gone and sat at one of the many other tables in the room.

I just got up and moved and sat elsewhere, s

OP posts:
Emotionalsupportviper · 20/10/2022 16:04

Xiaoxiong · 20/10/2022 15:59

Brings back memories of a colleague who told me a story - his first day he ran into our senior partner at the station, and realised they got the same train in the mornings. Went up and said good morning to senior partner, oh how funny, we get the same train, do you live round here, etc etc. Senior partner said "good morning. this is the carriage I get on, so why don't you get on anywhere else and I'll see you in the office!" They then proceeded to walk to the office about 20 yards apart pretending not to see each other, and as they got to the lifts senior partner turned to him and hissed "Let's keep it this way shall we?" and then was perfectly friendly the rest of the day.

They worked together for years and maintained this charade the whole time except when there was a problem with the trains when they were "allowed" to suddenly notice that they went to the same station so they could share a taxi.

I can understand this - it doesn't pay "higher ups" to get too friendly with cattle class employees - one day they might have to sack them . . .

Vaccine001 · 20/10/2022 16:08

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vodkaredbullgirl · 20/10/2022 16:12

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oh dear many name changes have you had.

Mascia · 20/10/2022 16:16

butterfliedtwo · 20/10/2022 15:55

She was weird about the sofa. She doesn't have talk to you on the train.

This. She doesn't have to smile at or chat to you. Most people want to be left alone on commutes.

I disagree with the „don’t have to smile“ bit.
Fair enough if she didn’t recognise OP, but if she did and preferred to just glare it’s plain rude.
A smile in a situation like that doesn’t cost anything.

MrsWarboysHandGrenade · 20/10/2022 16:17

I find inconsistently friendly people really stressful. I once worked with a woman who never really spoke to me unless she absolutely had to - fair enough, not everyone likes to chat. She also once failed to show me where some useful resources were stored, meaning a session I had to deliver was severely lacking, and I only got a very brief and grudging apology.

But one afternoon we were assigned a task together, and she was absolutely lovely - told me about her family, kids, and got me a coffee. She was really interested in my university course (I was in her work space as a student on a placement) and I thought I’d misunderstood her.

The next day I smiled and said hello to her in the corridor, and she was back to being very aloof and cool - she never spoke to me again!

Sennelier1 · 20/10/2022 16:27

This will probably go on untill there's a new new-collegue. Please remember to not be like that woman. 😘

Chickenpeppers · 20/10/2022 16:30

We have a woman like that at work, she always reminds me of Sheldon from big bang theory "THAT'S MY SPOT". No one likes her and doesn't put up with her bollocks. Once she figured out people wouldn't let her bully them she calmed down a bit

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 20/10/2022 16:34

Mapleapple · 19/10/2022 11:07

Oh you met a Zoe. Sorry to anyone called Zoe but I worked in two separate places where women called Zoe were exactly like this so it’s known is my circle as a Zoe. If you weren’t in their little clique, or your weren’t an attractive male you were spoken to like absolute shit. One of them once told me to leave a communal area because she was having a private conversation. When I didn’t she stamped her foot like a toddler and ran off to complain to her nearest beau. Unfortunately every work place seems to have one of these too. Doesn’t work in marketing by any chance does she?

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Are you trying to star a "Zoe" trend to match the "Karen" trend? Bit weird!

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 20/10/2022 16:37

Sparklybutold · 19/10/2022 14:47

Is it possible she jas a neuro divergent condition. So not rude just sees and interprets the world differently.

Sniggers 😂

Worrywart70 · 20/10/2022 16:47

I find the fact people are saying you shouldn’t expect people or smile at they wish to be left alone very confusing. There’s thing we all want in life, but usually as adults being polite comes first. I smile at people I despise from work on the train!
I hate people like this. There’s no need to be unfriendly at all. It’s a choice at the end of the day! Rude!

LemonDrop22 · 20/10/2022 16:47

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/10/2022 11:05

Blimey you only been there 1 day, and judging already.

Judging correctly.

LookItsMeAgain · 20/10/2022 16:48

I'll probably be slated for saying this but when she said "That's where I was sitting" I probably would have come back with a sweetly said "Oh, I'm sorry. There wasn't anyone sitting on the sofa before I sat down. Sure there's plenty of other spaces on the sofa for you to sit on. My name is X and I've just started in the company. Who are you?"
That way, you can size her up afterwards by checking out who she is and what her role is and by you saying that you've only joined and you're apologising (but not moving for her) she knows that she can't push you around (we would hope).

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/10/2022 16:49

LemonDrop22 · 20/10/2022 16:47

Judging correctly.

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FGS I'm not the only 1 who said it.

IncompleteSenten · 20/10/2022 16:53

Don't let it get to you. Some people are just not friendly.

In future though, don't move.

Karmabites · 20/10/2022 16:59

Next time you are at work, if that seat is empty at lunch time, go and sit there reading with your headphones on. Pretend you dont see/hear her if she approaches you and no matter what and don't give up your seat. Don't let her get the idea that you are a pushover.

drpet49 · 20/10/2022 17:13

RainbowsMoonbeams · 19/10/2022 11:10

Any normal person would have just sat elsewhere.

It was clearly a territorial/control thing.

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This. She sounds like an arsehole

fruitbrewhaha · 20/10/2022 17:30

Please sit there tomorrow. And don't move.

clarepetal · 20/10/2022 17:31

She sounds like a prick to me

MyneighbourisTotoro · 20/10/2022 17:55

Why did you move?

Emotionalsupportviper · 20/10/2022 18:00

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 20/10/2022 16:37

Sniggers 😂

Show quote history

Or that she is a total tw*t . . .

MyneighbourisTotoro · 20/10/2022 18:04

If it ever happens again OP just be super friendly and say she is more than welcome to join you!

purplehair1 · 20/10/2022 18:21

I was going to say - perhaps she’s a bit on the spectrum (was thinking Big Bang Theory and Sheldon and his ‘spot’) but then you mentioned the interaction with the guy and I thought ‘maybe not’. However I am sure there are many more friendly people there, hope you get on well.

Emotionalsupportviper · 20/10/2022 19:01

MrsWarboysHandGrenade · 20/10/2022 16:17

I find inconsistently friendly people really stressful. I once worked with a woman who never really spoke to me unless she absolutely had to - fair enough, not everyone likes to chat. She also once failed to show me where some useful resources were stored, meaning a session I had to deliver was severely lacking, and I only got a very brief and grudging apology.

But one afternoon we were assigned a task together, and she was absolutely lovely - told me about her family, kids, and got me a coffee. She was really interested in my university course (I was in her work space as a student on a placement) and I thought I’d misunderstood her.

The next day I smiled and said hello to her in the corridor, and she was back to being very aloof and cool - she never spoke to me again!

I agree.

People who are tw*ts all the time a much easier to deal with

EastCoastDamsel · 20/10/2022 20:03

Jibo · 19/10/2022 11:12

Why did you move?

This. Why did you move?

Clemmie81 · 21/10/2022 06:03

Hi, just putting this out there - could she have been autistic or had some kind of social communication issue?
I only say because my autistic daughter can sometimes come across as rude but she generally lacks insight - it can be really tricky! But TBF she’s 11!

This lady may just be rude and unpleasant of course!