Don't understand why some people are so unfriendly like this

[Cheesecakeitalian]

Started a job in a new place yesterday, I saw a woman on the train this morning who I'd recognised from yesterday. So I smiled at her and she just looked at me blankly, fair enough she probably didn't recognise me.

Anyway then I was in the staff lounge and there's a huge U shaped sofa with tables which was totally empty. So i went and sat in the corner.
She came over with a flask of tea and a sandwich and just went "Oh I'm sitting there."
The room was almost empty, she could have literally sat on the same sofa with one of the other tables or gone and sat at one of the many other tables in the room.

I just got up and moved and sat elsewhere, s

Manners cost nothing. Op I hope the others are fine. Grown women can be petty. I was temping and I used a colleague mug in press. We laughed about it after lol

Donnas for me, sorry if you are a nice Donna but Ive never met one! If her name is actually Donna, I worked with her and she was vile!

act as though you didnt notice she is a twat but dont give in to her either!

Surely she knew the man and not you? Hence the difference in attitude? Not denying she was odd with the seat thing, but branding her a ‘viper’ not to be trusted is very OTT.

She’s crackers

But you need to learn to stand up for yourself - just say, no, I’m sitting here right now

She's probably known to be unpleasant in the office

Fuck me. I don't speak to people on the train unless I know them. Otherwise, I'm concentrating on trying to ignore the anxiety I get travelling, usually with anc headphones on.

I also have a particular place where I sit. It's familiar and safe. I'm neurodivergent.

Try being friendly in the office. Introduce yourself.

Of course, she may just be a twat, but be open!

Question:
How many posters here would honesty ask someone to move because they had sat in a seat previously. You've not left any stuff there - but because your bum was on that chair 2/5/20 mins, ago you'd ask someone to move who'd sat there while you were gone?

I think she has every right to judge someone who is downright rude and unfriendly. I would never treat someone like that, and anyone who thinks it is OK needs to educate themselves about social awareness.

And before anyone comes along with excuses about the other person being ND it doesn't give them free reign to be rude.

Do some discreet observations. See how she behaves with others. Chances are she has a little clique and no-one else is allowed in

You can't ask people to move because your neurodivergent. It's not your seat to claim doesn't matter how many times you have sat there or how comfortable you may feel

There’s no excuse for “a difference in attitude “ it’s basic manners to introduce yourself to a new staff member, and to welcome them.

Id assume she was rather immature and still behaving as if she was at school; very awkward and wary of a person not in her clique.

i appreciate you’re young yourself op but the best approach is to be friendly, introduce yourself and attempt some small talk and pity her immaturity. She may be quite pleasant once she drops her guard?

i don’t agree with the rude retorts suggested on here. That’s playground stuff. Good luck x

We used to have this bloke in the canteen known as Mr two o clock because without fail he'd sit in the same spot in the canteen at the same time. Even if there were a bunch of people in suits having an obvious impromptu meeting there he'd sit.

She sounds like a bully and a twat re the seat thing. I'd completely ignore her in future OP, person like that is not worth your time.

She’s the office low level bully and she’s testing boundaries.

I’ve had this twice. Once on my first day in a job, office bully tried to stop me from putting my cup in the dishwasher saying it was full. So I walked past her, rearranged the pots and put mine in, and smiled at her and said “nope, still plenty of room, have a great evening”. She became weirdly friendly with me after that but continued to try and pick on a young vulnerable member of staff because she was too quiet and nervous to stand up for herself!

The second - a new partner had joined a couple of days previously. I was at the photocopier scanning a clients documents whilst my client was in the meeting room. Stroppy male partner asked me quite rudely if I could do my copying later as he had a client waiting and his documentation was more important (obviously assuming I was a secretary and not a lawyer). I asked him firstly who he thought he was talking to, then told him if he was that desperate to get things done quickly then there were other photocopiers on other floors and my client was also waiting. Again, he never tried to be rude to me again, but he had a reputation for making other female staff members cry!

The only way to deal with those people is to be assertive and make it clear you aren’t one to be pushed around!

Of course she’s going to react to an email very act of unpleasantness

OP - sorry you’ve got this crap on day 2.

< to an ACT, not an email >

Yes. A 'come and sit next to me instead pet'. They'll either be friendly or they'll swerve you. Never, ever cave.

Of course she’d be saying tbe same thing g- unpleasant behaviour irrespective of sex

Thought we were part this ablist shit. Reported.

@Cheesecakeitalian , women like that are best avoided altogether - completely different when there are men around. If you’re anything like me, your antennae can spot them at fifty paces.

Depends on social awareness. I personally wouldn't, but have friends and colleagues who would.

Where does it say about email?

A lot of people tend to go down the “kill them with kindness” route when it comes to dickheads like these.

But I don’t. If someone’s a dick to me I’ll be a dick back. Don’t smile at her again. And if she tries to make you move in the canteen again say something like “Well I’m sitting here now”.

They’ll soon learn. They try and intimidate new people who come into “their space” and be a bit power hungry over newbies. It’s a vile attitude but the only way is to give back what they give you.