Don't understand why some people are so unfriendly like this

[Cheesecakeitalian]

Started a job in a new place yesterday, I saw a woman on the train this morning who I'd recognised from yesterday. So I smiled at her and she just looked at me blankly, fair enough she probably didn't recognise me.

Anyway then I was in the staff lounge and there's a huge U shaped sofa with tables which was totally empty. So i went and sat in the corner.
She came over with a flask of tea and a sandwich and just went "Oh I'm sitting there."
The room was almost empty, she could have literally sat on the same sofa with one of the other tables or gone and sat at one of the many other tables in the room.

I just got up and moved and sat elsewhere, s

She sounds like a bitch. Next time don’t move.

That doesn’t make it ok. Their ND provides an explanation for their behaviour but it doesn’t make that behaviour automatically acceptable.

I don’t agree that this woman should be avoided and immediately labelled as “that kind of woman”.

Reserve judgement and then decide. I think making snap judgements based on one interaction is rather childish.

I’ve had young twenty somethings joining my office. They often act very standoffish with new starters; circling each other warily and making prejudgements; bending over backwards to show off how they are part of the “in crowd” in front of newbies.

By the end of the year, they’re usually friends and getting pissed together at the Christmas do 😂

it’s a throw back from school, most have poor social skills and are very insecure, rather than malicious intent.

Maybe, I don’t know, she’s actually friends with the guy and therefore will be friendlier with him?

I don’t know everyone in my office. I don’t even know who is in my group. All I know is my team and I will have no idea whether someone is new so not going to make someone I don’t know feel welcome when I don’t even know who they are.

Also, is there any possibility she was already sitting there but stepped away to get her drink and then came back?

Of course she would! A rude twat is a rude twat, woman or man. Stop trying to make everything about misogyny.

I usually feel sorry for people like that as clearly they are a misery. Let them live their miserable existence.

Hannah's for me! DH really liked the name when we were discussing baby names, it was crossed off the list straight away.

Im not going to make someone I don’t know feel welcome when I don’t even know who they are
Is it possible she was already sitting there?

Cone on, sorry but grow up! You don’t need the teacher to introduce you to people in your office! Smile, hi have you just started here? I’m in accounts..or whatever. That’s basic social awareness.

Seating in staff areas isn’t owned by anyone. I’m surprised people think that sort of pettiness is justified.

Cone on, sorry but grow up! You don’t need the teacher to introduce you to people in your office! Smile, hi have you just started here? I’m in accounts..or whatever. That’s basic social awareness

Maybe you should grow up and consider that not every work place is the same. There are 50 people in my group alone. I’ve never spoken to them about anything work related so have no idea who they are. In addition the breakout area is also shared by people from other groups who I know nothing about. If someone new joins, I’m not going to know they’re new… But hey, if you go to work to chat to all 150 people who sit on your floor, go you you superstar!

Glitteratitair yes! I would exchange a few pleasant words with any colleague if we were the only ones in the staff communal area, (as in op’s situation) it’s immature not to.
You think otherwise?

It doesn’t take that long to identify an arseole

I wouldn't have moved and if someone told me to loved I'd just laugh.

No, and it’s not immature to not be talking to everyone so maybe open your mind a bit. I’ve never worked in an office where you chat to people in the breakout area, it’s never been the culture of anywhere I’ve worked.

"Bums keep seats - not attitudes" sorry pet
Would be my future response to her crap.

Come off it. We all know some women behave exactly like this. It's not misogynistic to say so.

Of course you had to move. It would be too much awkward confrontation for someone on their second day. Personally, I would have moved to the very next seat, which I'm sure she would have found uncomfortably close.

Oh how I wish you would be assigned as her boss.

Please don't go into a new work place with this kind of misogynistic attitude!

She was weird about the sofa. She doesn't have talk to you on the train.

This kind of thing makes me glad I am nearly retired, and working from home.
I think I would have laughed as if she was making a joke about the seat, then gone "oh, you're serious". Suggest she put a name sticker on it.
In summary, it's not you, it's her. You will meet a lot of "mean types" in your working life. The knack is to let it slide off you. 💐 Don't let her spoil your new job.

Ok I’m a bit baffled but do you think how op’s colleague behaved is completely justified then? It was ok to ask her to move seats and then ignore her?

Clearly in your work environment it wouldn’t be possible to greet all . 150 staff members in your work canteen, that would be your lunch hour gone 😂but op described a completely different situation. An interaction between 2 people.

Tell us you’re rude at work without telling us you’re rude at work….

THIS
I once ''Bagsied'' a seat with my bag, and someone moved my bag and dumped it somewhere in a puddle of coffee and sat in 'My' seat.

It nearly came to blows.
But the bully never hassled me again.

Why "of course"?

I wouldn't treat someone like that, I also wouldn't refer to someone as a viper or comment on how they are around men.

It’s not misogyny to point out there is a certain type of woman who choose to be very flirtatious with men in the workplace as they like the attention, and are unpleasant to women who do not provide any benefits to them. Most of us have experienced these women and I’d argue they do more to pander to the patriarchy.

In the same vein, the simpering men who pander to these women whilst not so subtly looking at their breasts and legs, and don’t just say please get off my desk I’m trying to work and I’m married, are really quite gross.