Don't understand why some people are so unfriendly like this

[Cheesecakeitalian]

Started a job in a new place yesterday, I saw a woman on the train this morning who I'd recognised from yesterday. So I smiled at her and she just looked at me blankly, fair enough she probably didn't recognise me.

Anyway then I was in the staff lounge and there's a huge U shaped sofa with tables which was totally empty. So i went and sat in the corner.
She came over with a flask of tea and a sandwich and just went "Oh I'm sitting there."
The room was almost empty, she could have literally sat on the same sofa with one of the other tables or gone and sat at one of the many other tables in the room.

I just got up and moved and sat elsewhere, s

I don't understand why you are getting grief. I've worked with people who were vile to newcomers. They were upset that they or their mate didn't get the job. There are others too who just enjoy been Queen Bee. Don't let them get to you. If next time you walked in and asked if same spot on sofa was free you'd probably get eye rolls and comments the other way.

Classic mistake. In my experience some people have their seats in staffrooms and woe betide anyone else who sits there!!

Why wouldn’t she mention it?? Well a) so as not to appear hostile to someone on their second day in a new role and b) because there was no need for her to have that particular spot!

She didn’t recognise you in the station. I wouldn’t remember the face of someone who started the day before at my work place.

You sat where it sounds like she had been sitting so she let you know. That’s fine. I wouldn’t make assumptions on someone based on those two small interactions

At least you know who to avoid now!

How many days should one accept rude behaviour before calling it rude?

I would not have moved.

Why?
They've done you a favour - they've as good as taken out a billboard ad letting you know that they are vapid twats who you can usefully avoid.

Don't let your new job be spoiled by the rudeness of one daft young woman OP.

I worked with a woman who liked to do things like this to new staff, car park, staff room ect.
We all knew she was a gobshite.

Day 2 or 3

@Cheesecakeitalian I’d sit there again if you fancy it and if she repeats the same bull- just smile at her and tell her she’s welcome to join you. Then just go back to eating your lunch and nose in a book. DO NOT MOVE.

she’s just one of the precious souls we encounter in the wild. She’s lost her way and needs retraining on how adults interact. Everyone that panders to her is encouraging her behaviour. Break the pattern.

also it will annoy the fuck out of her and I’m petty about knobbers like this. Kill them with polite kindness.

This is such crap. Some women are absolutely shit to other women and spend their whole day perched on the edge of men’s desks giggling away. I have seen enough of them to know it’s an archetype. You may wish to think any woman who criticises another is coming from a place of misogyny but that’s just another was of putting a woman down.

Yeah I wouldn’t have moved. In terms of the train, that’s nothingness. I can know somebody for years but out of context they can be a stranger - so considering she’s briefly seen you for a single day prior to the train then I’d think not knowing you quite normal. Although, I do always so hello to people just in case.

I would have just laughed at her and stayed put. Why on earth did you move?

Gosshhhh, don't listen to the people giving you grief here OP. There's always going to be the odd 'little miss perfect' on here.

She is rude. It is rude. You're not being judgmental you're just annoyed and saying what you see.

I wouldn't give the train thing 2 thoughts, she probably didn't recognise you. The sofa thing however is weird.

The station thing, she probably didn't recognise you. Also much as I like me colleagues my commute can be the only downtime I get in a day, so I really don't want to use it making small talk with them.
The sofa thing is just weird.

You’ll bond with the other staff by slagging her off once you’ve been there a while. If she’s like that to a new person she doesn’t know, she must be horrid to people she doesn’t actually like! Don’t let her put you off being friendly to others, good luck.

^ This

I think you should wait until you’ve been there a bit longer to start judging everyone and putting them into little pigeonholes.
You may well be right but it was only your first day so just wait and see

Some people pride themselves on being aloof and rude.

Manners and respect are free.

I'd never treat a new colleague like that I'd expect them to be nervous or in need of a smile in a new environment.

Ignore her.

What a cow, OP! Just smile and nod next time, and stay there. Don’t let the little madam (as my mother would say) dictate where you sit. So pathetic, but do not lower yourself and get into a feud with her over it. Not worth it.

I was just about to say this.

Would you say the same thing if it was a man? I doubt it.

Some horrible replies on here OP, some of them sound as rude as she is! How on earth has one poster suggested you're a misogynist from what you've written WTF?! Good luck in your new job and hope you don't have to come across this woman too often. One to watch I think

The station thing: I’d blank you too, I don’t want to have to be in work mode on my commute. The correct etiquette when you see colleagues before arrival in the building is to hide.

The sofa thing: she’s obviously a dick, don’t move next time.

Luckily she's saved you some time by letting you know it's not worth trying to be friendly with her. Stay out of her way, and hopefully the organisation is big enough for you to make other friends and ignore her. No point causing a scene at work if there is no benefit to you.