Page 9 | Won’t let DH keep shoes on entry shoe rack

Sundaya · 2022-10-14T18:18:07+00:00

Yes, there is a shoe rack in my house’s entryway, but I would prefer to only keep one pair of shoes per person there. I begrudgingly let DH keep two of his pairs there. He says it’s inefficient to not fill the rack completely and wants to keep more there. But the entryway is not a closet! AIBU?

Augend23 · 15/10/2022 08:50

NoSquirrels · 15/10/2022 00:10

It's a tiny compromise. They arent asking the world.

It would be fucking annoying to have to go up two flights to put shoes away and get them out again, though. In any given day I might want at least 3 pairs - boots for dog walk, smarter work shoes, trainers for exercise. And then I don’t wear the same work shoes every day, but I might wear the same pair a few times a week. The kids are worse, with school shoes and activities and so on. Who’s got time to traipse up and down putting shoes away upstairs in a wardrobe and getting them out all the time? That would not be ‘a tiny compromise’ to me. It would be a giant irritation.

What are the ‘utilitarian shoes for taking the bins out’ that are approved of?

This, it was send me utterly bonkers. I totally get keeping e.g. the wrong season's shoes upstairs, or things like properly smart heels now I don't wear them daily for work, but I don't want to have to trek up two flights of stairs every time I want a pair of shoes (or indeed a coat!).

bellissimiaow · 15/10/2022 08:51

I have a few questions for the op, similar to a previous poster, if I may:

So when you come home from work/school etc you take off your shoes and put them on the shoe rack in the entry. Do you then put slippers on and if so where are they kept?

Presumably you/dh changes out of work clothes once you're home into something more comfortable, so then if you need to pop out to the shop or want to go for a walk, you wouldn't wear the work shoes that are sitting on the shoe rack. So you have to go back up and down to the 2nd floor each time you want different shoes?

And when you come back from the shop in different shoes to the work shoes, which ones stay on the rack? If the rack is there to save time and have a pair easily to hand it seems counterproductive if you're only allowed one pair. The extra time taken going up and down stairs to take out and put away other pairs wipes out any time savings made by the 'One-Pair-Rack'

I'm not going to be as rude as most people on here who say it's crazy etc but I am genuinely interested in how some people live with rules like this as my own house is pretty disorganised. I wouldn't want to have such strict rules unless they genuinely made our lives easier or saved time. It does seem strange to me that you would have a strict rule that has one aim - to keep the entry uncluttered - but in doing so make life more difficult (making extra trips for shoes)

I'd be genuinely interested to know what other kind of rules you have to keep your house looking nice and how many you have in your family (sorry haven't rtft) as I have enough trouble trying to get my lot to put dishes in the dishwasher!

NoSquirrels · 15/10/2022 10:07

I think you can totally have this ‘uncluttered shoe rack’ rule if your house has an alternative but conveniently sited shoe storage alternative - like an understairs cupboard or storage cupboard in the hallway.

But not if you expect other people to traipse up and down stairs to put things away. You can make that rule for yourself, if you don’t mind doing it. But not for others.

TeenDivided · 15/10/2022 10:15

My 'rule' is shoes that are regularly worn live on the shoe rack, those that aren't don't. So in the summer sandals are there but exchanged for boots in winter. DD's work boots are there in term time, but go away for summer holidays.

Mentalpiece · 15/10/2022 13:18

I'd hate to be in your husband's shoes, whether they're on the rack or not.
My shoe rack has shoes stacked up on top of shoes, along with my lunchbox, a massive cone for the dog and the last time I looked, a pair of hedge shears.
Make of that what you will.

Johnnysgirl · 15/10/2022 13:34

Mentalpiece · 15/10/2022 13:18

I'd hate to be in your husband's shoes, whether they're on the rack or not.
My shoe rack has shoes stacked up on top of shoes, along with my lunchbox, a massive cone for the dog and the last time I looked, a pair of hedge shears.
Make of that what you will.

I'd feel more relaxed in your house than one where you had to go upstairs to park your shoes every time you stepped through the door, changing from downstairs to upstairs slippers as you went.
Who has the frigging headspace for this themselves, let alone trying to impose it on the whole family?!

GloriousGlory · 15/10/2022 13:59

LTB

liveforsummer · 15/10/2022 14:11

Toomanyshoesontherack · 14/10/2022 20:33

This thread has actually opened my eyes, because you know what @Sundaya we have the EXACT SAME problem in our house. Except ours is a basket that I specifically bought for my husband to put his shoes in to stop them being left all over the hall. There is a massive shoe closet less than 10ft from the front door, but he insists on cramming 5+ pairs of shoes on this tiny basket because he needs so many to hand apparently. Drives me crazy. It just looks so incredibly untidy.

So I am going to go against the majority (unreasonably apparently) and say that you are my kind of person. Just wanted to lend some moral support!

I don't think this is the exact same problem at all. OP's DH isn't stacking it high til the start to spill off the rack he's simply placing a pair of shoes in a gap intended for that exact purpose. Fair enough to ask that space is left for everyone to have at least one pair of shoes there but not to use the rest of the space at all is a pretty crazy level of micromanaging another adult in your home - yet you still feel yanbu 😆

liveforsummer · 15/10/2022 14:13

Oh and in this case there is no giant dedicated cupboard a couple of steps away, it's up 2 flights of stairs

DysmalRadius · 15/10/2022 15:01

You're prioritising the potential need of a guest over the daily convenience of your husband which sounds infuriating for him. Can't you agree that he will move shoes to accommodate guests but that he can keep his shoes there the rest of the time?

AgentProvocateur · 15/10/2022 15:09

Can’t believe people live like this with petty house rules. Unclench a bit…

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 15/10/2022 15:31

Sundaya · 14/10/2022 22:53

This. The people saying I’m “controlling” DH are hyperbolic! It’s about give and take. We have a conversation and agree upon rules of how we do things in our house. To be honest, my purpose of posting this thread was that I thought most would agree with me and I could take it to DH and say “see??” This did not go as planned 😅

Show quote history

Shoes go on a shoe rack. There's no need for rules around it. Obviously some of the terms used to describe your reaction are OTT but the whole situation is OTT of your own making as well.

Hmm1234 · 15/10/2022 17:46

I am like you. Everything gets stuffed in the closet under the stairs. The shoe rack is for pure decoration lol

YDBear · 15/10/2022 18:00

Kind of a weird rule unless you expect him to only ever use one pair of shoes. Isn’t a shoe rack for shoes that are used often enough such that you don’t clean them and put them away in boxes in a closet? Most people have more than one pair on the go at a time—formal pair for work, casual or trainers for not-work, for instance.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 15/10/2022 18:03

Life really is too short for this type of controlling behaviour.
It's a fucking shoe rack... for shoes.
Absolutely no one will give a hoot if there are too many shoes.

Psylvr · 15/10/2022 18:05

I feel for your husband

Anxietgirl · 15/10/2022 18:06

This is hilarious!! I have a shoe cupboard in my hallway and my partner will take his shoes of right in front of shoe cupboard but not actually put them in! Just leaves them outside of it! So frustrating and lazy of him. He also has the most shoes out of everyone in the cupboard. Myself and the kids have two pairs each he must have about 7! They take up so much room as well with his big banana feet 😂

Sorcha38 · 15/10/2022 18:09

If you said that to me, I’d be deliberately leaving all my shoes over the hall and at the bottom of the stairs for you to trip over. Then I’d remove the laces from your shoes and bin tgem

Doggate1 · 15/10/2022 18:18

If this is your priority in life and this is serious then wow! I just tell my DH how lucky he is to have me 🤣🤣🤣 who doesn’t give a hoot about trifle things like this

Doggate1 · 15/10/2022 18:19

THIS 🤣🤣🤣💥

LifesTooShortForYourNonsense · 15/10/2022 18:20

YABVVU. See my username

Everyflippingusernameistaken · 15/10/2022 18:22

Surely he only needs to put one pair of shoes on as he's leaving the house, so why would he need more than one pair on there? Also if you have visitors and they take their shoes off, which a lot do (my daughters and their partners do) then you will have somewhere to put them. Tell your husband the spare space is for visitors.

Johnnysgirl · 15/10/2022 18:25

Surely he only needs to put one pair of shoes on as he's leaving the house
Surely people choose which pair to put on depending on where they're going? Or why would anyone need more than one pair in the first place

Olsi109 · 15/10/2022 18:31

Sundaya · 14/10/2022 20:05

Wow, I was not expecting this response! Maybe IABU. But let me clarify: I’m fine with extra shoes being on the rack that are in use for that day. For example, you’ve just got home from work and temporarily leave your office shoes at the door. But I think shoes should not be STORED on the entryway rack. Only one utilitarian pair per person should be stored there for taking the bins out, etc. Otherwise it completely fills up and there’s not room for the unexpected extra pair of shoes or shoes from guests.

I'm kind of with you. We have a rack in our porch. I allow 2 pairs of shoes per person. This has, on its own become a pair of trainers and school/work shoes. Rest in wardrobes. I wear different shoes each day for work, I just get them out of my wardrobe with my work clothes and choice of coat and take them down. This 2 pairs fits neatly on, any more would mean shoes were on the floor, piled up on top ruining other shoes etc and I don't want to walk through my front door to messy clutter straight away (or ever). We have a basket in the utility with a pair of sliders for each person if they need to nip out to take bins out/put washing out etc. I think some of the posts are a bit rude but we are definitely in the minority it seems.

pinkpantherpink · 15/10/2022 18:33

Are there pictures?

aside from that I am cheered that people have shoe racks and coat cupboards.