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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Won’t let DH keep shoes on entry shoe rack

327 replies

Sundaya · 14/10/2022 19:18

Yes, there is a shoe rack in my house’s entryway, but I would prefer to only keep one pair of shoes per person there. I begrudgingly let DH keep two of his pairs there. He says it’s inefficient to not fill the rack completely and wants to keep more there. But the entryway is not a closet! AIBU?

OP posts:
mistermagpie · 14/10/2022 23:25

Wow, it really does take all sorts. I can't even imagine dedicating two seconds of my time to worrying about this and honestly I'm quite a petty person.

Why does it matter? It's shoes, on a shoe rack. Why do you need 'rules' in your house that you sit down and agree on? I've been married twice and neither time did we operate like this, I don't think it's normal actually.

mistermagpie · 14/10/2022 23:28

RosesAndHellebores · 14/10/2022 21:43

It is easily resolved. You need a house with a boot room.

We have a worse quirk but at least we are on the same page. We have downstairs and upstairs slippers. We keep them on the little half landing at the bottom of the stairs and next to the drawing room which is carpeted.

We change from our downstairs slippers into our outdoor shoes in the boot room. We put our downstairs slippers on when we get home. If we go upstairs or use the drawing room we change into our soft soled slippers and leave our downstairs slipper on the half landing.

This is insane and I don't know if you are actually being serious, but I hope you are because I love your bonkers slipper behaviour and mega-posh sounding lifestyle!

LimeTwists · 14/10/2022 23:29

I think you’re being about as unreasonable as it’s possible to be about the use of a shoe rack.

RosesAndHellebores · 14/10/2022 23:31

@mistermagpie Grin we are old, dh is pernickety and I guess we are slightly nuts in our own way.

morekidsthanhands · 14/10/2022 23:36

My Dp isn't allowed to store his shoes in the family rack as they are too big and I think they look awful. His go in a little basket out of sight in the downstairs loo.
I don't think you're crazy 🤷🏼‍♀️

onlythreenow · 14/10/2022 23:45

People have rules about shoe racks? Confused

MightyOaks · 14/10/2022 23:55

Sundaya · 14/10/2022 20:05

Wow, I was not expecting this response! Maybe IABU. But let me clarify: I’m fine with extra shoes being on the rack that are in use for that day. For example, you’ve just got home from work and temporarily leave your office shoes at the door. But I think shoes should not be STORED on the entryway rack. Only one utilitarian pair per person should be stored there for taking the bins out, etc. Otherwise it completely fills up and there’s not room for the unexpected extra pair of shoes or shoes from guests.

Only one utilitarian pair per person

😵‍💫🥴 WTAF?! This is batshit. This isn't boarding school this is your home. Just relax!

MightyOaks · 14/10/2022 23:56

Liz1tummypain · 14/10/2022 20:08

Lol. This is one I need to show my kids for a good giggle over. The funniest one before this was about neighbours buying a trampoline to snoop at them.

Oh pleeeease link that one!

StarfishBrain · 14/10/2022 23:57

This. The people saying I’m “controlling” DH are hyperbolic! It’s about give and take. We have a conversation and agree upon rules of how we do things in our house. To be honest, my purpose of posting this thread was that I thought most would agree with me and I could take it to DH and say “see??” This did not go as planned 😅

Do you have a job? It seems like you really need something productive to focus on.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 15/10/2022 00:04

Where do the rest of your shoes live?!

All of mine are on the shoe rack...

FarmGirl78 · 15/10/2022 00:04

CapMarvel · 14/10/2022 19:45

What the actual fuck.

This. 100% this.

Womencanlift · 15/10/2022 00:07

Funny how the OP is only replying to the posts agreeing with her

If this is your DH house too, which I assume it is, then surely he can leave as many shoes where he wants?

It is controlling telling someone how many of their items can be left in a specific place. What’s next, how many jackets can be hung up?

NoSquirrels · 15/10/2022 00:10

It's a tiny compromise. They arent asking the world.

It would be fucking annoying to have to go up two flights to put shoes away and get them out again, though. In any given day I might want at least 3 pairs - boots for dog walk, smarter work shoes, trainers for exercise. And then I don’t wear the same work shoes every day, but I might wear the same pair a few times a week. The kids are worse, with school shoes and activities and so on. Who’s got time to traipse up and down putting shoes away upstairs in a wardrobe and getting them out all the time? That would not be ‘a tiny compromise’ to me. It would be a giant irritation.

What are the ‘utilitarian shoes for taking the bins out’ that are approved of?

Pumpkinsbeinghitbyfallingapples · 15/10/2022 00:14

Sundaya · 14/10/2022 22:53

This. The people saying I’m “controlling” DH are hyperbolic! It’s about give and take. We have a conversation and agree upon rules of how we do things in our house. To be honest, my purpose of posting this thread was that I thought most would agree with me and I could take it to DH and say “see??” This did not go as planned 😅

Show quote history

In terms of the give and take, when does your DH get to dictate any of these 'rules' for living in his own house?

Tallisimo · 15/10/2022 00:15

What if you don’t have any ‘utilitarian’ shoes? Whatever they might be ….

StarfishBrain · 15/10/2022 00:15

Seriously how OP is this the biggest concern on your mind right now? Turn on BBC news for a bit.

watcherintherye · 15/10/2022 00:23

After reading this thread I want a boot room now. I don’t want to have to make do with a shoe rack.

saraclara · 15/10/2022 00:32

StarfishBrain · 15/10/2022 00:15

Seriously how OP is this the biggest concern on your mind right now? Turn on BBC news for a bit.

I don't know about you, but I come to mumsnet to escape all that.

Jenasaurus · 15/10/2022 00:34

5128gap · 14/10/2022 21:16

You need one of those that's has a pull down door. Looks like a very shallow cupboard. They used to sell them in IKEA.

Show quote history

oh these sound good, off to investigate, thanks

saraclara · 15/10/2022 00:34

watcherintherye · 15/10/2022 00:23

After reading this thread I want a boot room now. I don’t want to have to make do with a shoe rack.

I want a boot room, a drawing room and a half landing. And whatever else @RosesAndHellebores has got in her house.

Jenasaurus · 15/10/2022 00:38

5128gap · 14/10/2022 21:17

@Jenasaurus it's called Hemnes. Very tidy looking for a small hall.

perfect! just ordered it thank you so much

Johnnysgirl · 15/10/2022 00:54

morekidsthanhands · 14/10/2022 23:36

My Dp isn't allowed to store his shoes in the family rack as they are too big and I think they look awful. His go in a little basket out of sight in the downstairs loo.
I don't think you're crazy 🤷🏼‍♀️

Another one... 🙄

Geppili · 15/10/2022 02:40

Is it a naice shoe rack?

allboysherebutme · 15/10/2022 03:03

That's the reason I had a cupboard built under the stairs for shoes, to hide them. X

topcat2014 · 15/10/2022 08:37

I would love to not have shoes and coats on display at the bottom of the stairs, but I would need an extra 100k for a big enough house