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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sibling getting married same year

131 replies

BlueberryFudge · 14/10/2022 19:03

AIBU to be a little irked one of our siblings is getting married two months after us? All of a sudden all wedding talk is about their wedding and how we can juggle stag and hen do's around our plans which have been set for quite a while now.

OP posts:
Brigante9 · 14/10/2022 22:01

Mine did it 2 weeks before us, despite us having announced our dates. I was not thrilled, I have to say.

bishbashboosh1 · 14/10/2022 22:05

Funny cause I posted the opposite here a year or so ago saying my wedding was two months before my sister and everyone slated me saying i was awful 😂

PanPacificBallroomChampion · 14/10/2022 22:11

My younger brother had been planning a June wedding for about a year then our older brother then told us in the January that he was getting married in the March beforehand. Not an issue with anyone. Be happy for your sibling which is the usual response.

Kite22 · 14/10/2022 22:23

YABU unless you are going to come up with some drip feed about how you are from a culture where the wedding celebrations go on for ages (am fascinated about some of the details of an Indian family wedding one of my dc is part of Smile ), or you are going to drip feed that all your closest relatives will have to fly in from other countries.

For most of us, there really isn't an issue with this, and I suspect it happens a lot.

mummybearcub2022 · 14/10/2022 22:24

I would be pissed off too. Poor you 🙁

StClare101 · 14/10/2022 22:51

Unles they are trying to book their hens etc. on top of your existing, well established plans, I don’t see the problem.

AssumingDirectControl · 14/10/2022 23:08

Oh come on 😂

Lcb123 · 14/10/2022 23:11

YABVU. My brother got married 2 months after us, earlier this year. We were very happy for each other!

Gymnopedie · 14/10/2022 23:55

I think more context about the relationship with the sibling is needed.

If they are the golden child
If they expect and are used to getting everything their own way
If they always have to be the centre of attention
If you have good reason to believe they've chosen their date to cast your wedding into a minor sideshow
YANBU

If there are no favourites
If they are nice and reasonable
If they won't use it as a way of hogging the limelight
If they'll make sure that your plans and theirs don't conflict
YABU

Only you know the family dynamic, why they've chosen their date and how it will impact you.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 15/10/2022 00:12

This is the trouble with brides ( it's never grooms.)

It's just a swanky day.

A day.

The year doesn't belong to a bride.

Just the day.

maddy68 · 15/10/2022 00:13

Seriously??? Why does it matter ?

DixonD · 15/10/2022 00:15

britneyisfree · 14/10/2022 19:11

I did. Almost 6 months after. Way too stressful, wouldn't recommend.

Show quote history

And we did the same - agreed to get married in January and married in June.

No stress at all. It is what you make it.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 15/10/2022 00:20

My siblings avoided any angst by getting married on the same day, at the same place. One in the morning, one in the afternoon. Guests wandered off to the pub in the break, then they had a joint reception afterwards. It was bloody great, the brides shared the bouquet, & there was no hanging around Grin

STARCATCHER22 · 15/10/2022 06:26

Gymnopedie · 14/10/2022 23:55

I think more context about the relationship with the sibling is needed.

If they are the golden child
If they expect and are used to getting everything their own way
If they always have to be the centre of attention
If you have good reason to believe they've chosen their date to cast your wedding into a minor sideshow
YANBU

If there are no favourites
If they are nice and reasonable
If they won't use it as a way of hogging the limelight
If they'll make sure that your plans and theirs don't conflict
YABU

Only you know the family dynamic, why they've chosen their date and how it will impact you.

I understand the point that you are trying to get across but it’s a bit rich to say the sibling is potentially trying to “be the centre of attention” and “expect to have their own way” when it sounds like that’s what the OP wants…

londonrach · 15/10/2022 06:28

If you saying this you too young to get married. Grown up! Yabu.

PortiasBiscuit · 15/10/2022 06:32

My brother married my best friend two months before my wedding. They kept it a secret so as not to detract from my big day.
I was extremely hurt, still upsets me 20 years later.

IDidntWearASmileToday · 15/10/2022 06:35

My friend got married the same year as both her brothers, it was fine.

allboysmum3 · 15/10/2022 06:42

I understand the frustration with fitting in hen and stag dos etc, almost takes away the limelight for both weddings. I wouldn't book a wedding so close to another sibling, so yes it would annoy me slightly. At least a 6 month gap so both weddings are exciting and not a chore

Roarsomemore · 15/10/2022 07:03

We had our wedding booked for ages and a cousin later booked theirs 2 weeks before ours. Didn't feel like I could kick up a fuss so had to grin and bear it but did always think that I wouldn't have done it if the situation was reversed.

Yorkshiredolls · 15/10/2022 07:22

YABU. We booked our wedding and then my SIL and BIL got engaged and booked theirs 9 t before, and then my half sister booked theirs 2 months after ours. At first I was surprised by their choices of timings but we realise the world does bot revolve around us and were very happy for them and had wonderful year! If you must have a strop, keep it short and private and then Get over it!

Yorkshiredolls · 15/10/2022 07:22

*I mean 9 months before ours

fghj149 · 15/10/2022 07:26

YABU it’s 2 months not 2 days!

JulesCobb · 15/10/2022 07:35

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 14/10/2022 20:02

@BlueberryFudge I understand your frustration!!

Myself and DH booked our wedding in Mexico with just the very few family members who afforded to come out with us, and we were due home 20th hoping to have our wedding reception over here in the UK on the Saturday 23rd as it made sense to.. however my SIL went and booked hers and my B wedding for the 23rd!!!! It was ridiculous,
We had to book our reception for the following week on the 30th and this also meant that for the family members who travelled from further away who came to hers then didn't bother travelling again the following week to come to ours!
I was furious

you were more unreasonable by having a destination wedding. Unless you paid for your guests to attend. Otherwise your wedding cost your family thousands to attend.

JulesCobb · 15/10/2022 07:38

Attending wedding close together wouldn't bother me, I wouldn't be complaining of wedding fatigue, but the cost would be an issue. Outfits, hotel room, gifts, drinks…

My wedding annoyance is week day weddings. I wouldnt even entertain the idea of attending anymore. It would cost all that PLUS a full days pay for me and dh.

Bobbins2022 · 15/10/2022 07:43

Me and my DB both got married this year within 2 months og each other. It was lovely. We really bonded over wedding planning. It did mean it was an expensive year for our DM, but she was in her element. Mother of the bride immediately followed Mother of the groom