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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sibling getting married same year

131 replies

BlueberryFudge · 14/10/2022 19:03

AIBU to be a little irked one of our siblings is getting married two months after us? All of a sudden all wedding talk is about their wedding and how we can juggle stag and hen do's around our plans which have been set for quite a while now.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 14/10/2022 19:58

Two months is ages after, how the heck is 'juggling' needed?ConfusedHmm

(Also, the wording of the OP implies she's marrying a sibling AIBU to be a little irked one of our siblings is getting married two months after us? ... unless the 'our' is a 'royal we' pretension. )

Ponderingwindow · 14/10/2022 20:00

two months apart in our family would be unreasonable because so many of the guests have to travel long distances. Asking people to book annual leave, plane tickets, and hotels that close together will mean many have to make a choice and only attend one wedding. It would become an awkward competition for guests.

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 14/10/2022 20:02

@BlueberryFudge I understand your frustration!!

Myself and DH booked our wedding in Mexico with just the very few family members who afforded to come out with us, and we were due home 20th hoping to have our wedding reception over here in the UK on the Saturday 23rd as it made sense to.. however my SIL went and booked hers and my B wedding for the 23rd!!!! It was ridiculous,
We had to book our reception for the following week on the 30th and this also meant that for the family members who travelled from further away who came to hers then didn't bother travelling again the following week to come to ours!
I was furious

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 14/10/2022 20:03

I would MUCH have preferred the 2 month gap that you have

SkiingIsHeaven · 14/10/2022 20:06

My sister married 3 months after me. I didn't give two hoots. It didn't enter my head that it was a problem.

Cheeseandlobster · 14/10/2022 20:06

BlueberryFudge · 14/10/2022 19:05

Yes I do 😞

Show quote history

Your second post. Wow! You sound like a petulant child. It's all about you isn't it apparently? Grow up. No-one gets to monopolise a whole year

Cas112 · 14/10/2022 20:06

BlueberryFudge · 14/10/2022 19:03

AIBU to be a little irked one of our siblings is getting married two months after us? All of a sudden all wedding talk is about their wedding and how we can juggle stag and hen do's around our plans which have been set for quite a while now.

YANBU .. your sibling should wait at least 10 years after your wedding to get married

FartOutLoudDay · 14/10/2022 20:08

Ponderingwindow · 14/10/2022 20:00

two months apart in our family would be unreasonable because so many of the guests have to travel long distances. Asking people to book annual leave, plane tickets, and hotels that close together will mean many have to make a choice and only attend one wedding. It would become an awkward competition for guests.

Same here.

I do think it’s a bit weird for a sibling to choose a date so close if you’d set yours some time ago. It’s a big time and cost commitment for family members who might be attending both weddings.

Cheeseandlobster · 14/10/2022 20:09

PoundOfNesh · 14/10/2022 19:17

YANBU

but of course you’ll get those who got married in a shed for 12p in the 1980’s on here saying you’re not entitled to be a bit annoyed

it causes issues, I know as my SIL got married 7 weeks after we did and it caused a lot of friction, it also meant people were less generous with gifts due to having to pay out for both, rehearsals, hen do’s etc. had an extra layer of organisation too. We went NC not that long after due to the issues that it caused.

You fell out with your sibling because you didn't get as generous gifts? Words fail me

Dontwakeme · 14/10/2022 20:10

Got married 6 weeks after my SIL… on her birthday. Did I care?! No! Did she care, no I didn’t think so, if she was then didn’t show it. I was bridesmaid for her and we had a great time. The only tension. was between her parents who were paying( and taking control of) of her wedding planning and me , I was marrying their son and they didn’t contribute a penny but still tried to compete over costs of things, comparisons etc. but tried not let it interfere or I ignore it. I think you should just carry on and plan your day how you like and don’t compare or anything just be excited you’ll have another wedding to go to again!

AlwaysLatte · 14/10/2022 20:11

I don't understand. Two months away from your wedding is hardly going to compete with it. Strange post.

Rooster67 · 14/10/2022 20:13

Beep

Beep

Beep

This thread is reversing…

User38899953 · 14/10/2022 20:14

What an odd thing to get worked up about

Nellz · 14/10/2022 20:14

I got married 3 months after my sister. It wasn't an issue. I wasn't going to wait an extra year because of her plans - I wanted to move on with trying for kids etc, so why would I put that on hold? In the end, it's a good job we got married when we did .. 3 months later the world was entering lockdown, so we'd have cancelled and postponed even further. I don't think my lovely nan would have made it if the wedding had been covid-delayed, either.

They may have good reasons to want to get married sooner rather than later. Let them get on with being happy.

User38899953 · 14/10/2022 20:15

PoundOfNesh · 14/10/2022 19:17

YANBU

but of course you’ll get those who got married in a shed for 12p in the 1980’s on here saying you’re not entitled to be a bit annoyed

it causes issues, I know as my SIL got married 7 weeks after we did and it caused a lot of friction, it also meant people were less generous with gifts due to having to pay out for both, rehearsals, hen do’s etc. had an extra layer of organisation too. We went NC not that long after due to the issues that it caused.

Oh how to be this self centred.

Honestly that absolutely batshit

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 14/10/2022 20:16

Rooster67 · 14/10/2022 20:13

Beep

Beep

Beep

This thread is reversing…

Why would it be a reverse? The situation would be exactly the same.

gamerchick · 14/10/2022 20:19

People really have wedding rehearsals outside of telly?

MiniTheMinx · 14/10/2022 20:19

Marvellous, maybe postpone yours, could then have a joint reception......cost of living and all that Grin

DramaAlpaca · 14/10/2022 20:20

Don't be daft, OP. In my extended family three siblings got married in the same summer. Nobody minded, in fact it was the best summer ever. It was great fun.

Hesma · 14/10/2022 20:26

Bridezilla alert 🚨

dailyfup · 14/10/2022 20:30

YABU. This is a non-issue.

Callingallskeletons · 14/10/2022 20:32

Yabu OP but I can see why you’re put out “in the moment” after it’s just been announced

Just count yourself lucky you’ve got a 2 month buffer and they’re getting married after you.. when we got married two of our close friends (at the time not anymore, not because of this though!) decided with 3 months to go to move their wedding to 3 DAYS before ours because “people might only be able to afford to enjoy 1 wedding this year and we want it to be ours..”

Nat6999 · 14/10/2022 20:33

I got married 8 weeks after my brother, we got engaged within weeks of each other.

FlashFash · 14/10/2022 20:35

I went to 2 weddings last year
The brother in October

The sister in November!!

Big year for the family everyone was happy!

KitchiHuritAngeni · 14/10/2022 20:39

YANBU op.

I had to cut my sibling out of my life because they had a baby the same year I did, I was already nc with my parents as they had birthdays within a couple of months of mine.

No excuse for stealing my thunder.