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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Demanding cat - to want some time to myself??

147 replies

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 19:44

This is going to sound ridiculous but here goes.

Me and DP have a 14 month old cat. I have completely babied her which I will admit. She sleeps on my bed with me and she is lavished with attention from us both.

However it's now getting too much. She follows us around the house meowing at us constantly, when we are watching TV she sits staring at us like every single day, all day. She freaks out when we close a door if we need the loo or I'm on a work call for example.

She has everything she could possibly want. I walk her in the garden (she's house cat) every time she wants to go out. She's entertained by us etc.

I just want some time to myself after work and I've cleaned up. She has poo DP harassed when he sits on the couch after 12 hour shifts.

She's neutered. Vaccinated. Eating well etc.

What do I do? I'm giving up watching a film atm. She's eyeballing me...

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Foolsandtheirmoney · 12/10/2022 19:46

Get her a friend.

LondonCrone · 12/10/2022 19:47

Get another cat. This is why many rescues will only give kittens in pairs — they really do need company during the day, and they’ll be much less needy.

Sweettea89 · 12/10/2022 19:49

My indoor cat is exactly the same, he is a Ragdoll cat so I knew they were needy but we are definitely contemplating another cat or dog to keep him company.

NotJustAnybody · 12/10/2022 19:54

I have 2 cats and a dog so am constantly pestered for food, treats, attention, affection, let in or out. It does seem never ending but I love it really. I'm a single parent and it's all the affection I get, lol.
If they seek me out and I'm not in the mood I tip them off my lap/sofa/bed, especially if they are in my face (sometimes literally). If they jump back, repeat. I can now put my hand up in front of them and they get the message.

JoanOgden · 12/10/2022 19:59

It's perfectly possible to watch a film with a cat staring at you. Perhaps turn down the lights so you can't see her? Does she snuggle with you? I've become adept at working with my cat on my lap and my laptop balanced on the arm of my chair...

AndYet · 12/10/2022 20:01

Probably get her a friend, but in the short term do you give her catnip?

I had a needy girl and every now and then when she was being too much I would get the catnip out. She would go bonkers for a short while then sleep for at least an hour.

It's not a daily solution and it did feel a bit like drugging her🙀but she loved it and it worked enough to have a break now and again!

Topgub · 12/10/2022 20:01

Ignore it?

Its a cat.

Put it in another room.

Gingerkittykat · 12/10/2022 20:01

Just give her the attention she wants.

Cats vary in personalities, my ginger boy is pretty aloof but my ragdoll is like you describe.

Wolfiefan · 12/10/2022 20:02

She’s bored and lonely. She can’t go out. She’s after your attention.

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:02

Thanks very much for the advice. We are considering get another cat after Jan.

Just money major factor of not getting one atm. Can't afford it. For price I pay for her food, insurance and vet fee (on monthly plan for £22 per month) can't afford to double it all.

Also don't want to give her cheaper food as I'd feel too guilty. And she has a condition which paying the vet monthly has been a godsend so it isn't an option to cancel it.

OP posts:
FineWordsForAPorcupine · 12/10/2022 20:04

You and your DP are tired after work but that cat...just sits in the house all day. So when you're around, of course she's going to want to have activity and interest.

Is there any reason she's an "indoor cat"? It's very difficult (though not impossible) to give a cat adequate exercise and stimulation if they are just get in a few rooms for their whole lives. Cats are predators with a strong prey drive and frequently have large territories that they roam around - they aren't just fluffy lap-sitters*.

*Well, some are. Mostly as they get older.

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:04

JoanOgden · 12/10/2022 19:59

It's perfectly possible to watch a film with a cat staring at you. Perhaps turn down the lights so you can't see her? Does she snuggle with you? I've become adept at working with my cat on my lap and my laptop balanced on the arm of my chair...

Yes she's quite snuggly of a morning but as the day goes on she becomes whiney.

She is with me constantly so she doesn't suffer from not getting attention.

OP posts:
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:06

She won't go near catnip. I wish she would :))

OP posts:
Toottooot · 12/10/2022 20:10

Peer cat.

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:10

I do give her it but its constantly. I'm knackered ha! I duno what she wants. Play, clean litter, food, treats, fresh water x

OP posts:
Glitterspy · 12/10/2022 20:13

OP in the nicest possible way what she wants is probably to go outside and play in the big wide world out there. Why do you keep her inside and walk her on a leash?

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:15

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 12/10/2022 20:04

You and your DP are tired after work but that cat...just sits in the house all day. So when you're around, of course she's going to want to have activity and interest.

Is there any reason she's an "indoor cat"? It's very difficult (though not impossible) to give a cat adequate exercise and stimulation if they are just get in a few rooms for their whole lives. Cats are predators with a strong prey drive and frequently have large territories that they roam around - they aren't just fluffy lap-sitters*.

*Well, some are. Mostly as they get older.

She's a very timid cat. She won't go out on the lead in the back garden without me. She won't go with my DP. I take her out about 3 times a day and she walks herself back in when she's had enough.

She sits with me all day while I'm working or plays about. She's got Hugh cat tree that's more or less to the ceiling in the kitchen. Play tunnel and light up mat downstairs. Toys everywhere. We talk to her all time.

OP posts:
TheSausageKingofChicago · 12/10/2022 20:15

Time for a new kitten. My boy is totally pampered too. I always fed him the best food because nothing but the best for my Prince 👑 We got a kitten when he was 2 and they played together a lot. Sadly the little one was killed in a road accident which broke all out hearts, but he loved having a playmate.
I ran out of posh food recently and grabbed the only food they had in the corner shop. Turns out Mr Michelin Starred cat food loves cheap biscuits. I just spoil him with a bit of left over roast chicken or shepherds pie every now and again.

Caspianberg · 12/10/2022 20:15

I couldn’t have a indoor cat only for this reason. In my experience, unless they are old and frail, they just have too much energy.

Mine followed me for a 3km walk though the woods behind house earlier, came home and started attaching a fern leaf in the garden. Then followed Ds around ages whilst he played. He’s 4 years old.

I wouldn’t get another if money problems. We have two cats. Born in same litter. They slept and played together the first 18 ish months and then have ignored each other since.

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:15

Toottooot · 12/10/2022 20:10

Peer cat.

Huh?

OP posts:
Cw112 · 12/10/2022 20:17

Do you play with her and do little hunting games and play with toys on stick and string? It sounds like she's not getting a huge amount of stimulation other than pets and food from what I've picked up from you. Could you get her a cat tree to hang out in? As a housecat you're her entire world and the best bit of entertainment and company she gets in a day and it sounds like by babying her so much you've created a bit of separation anxiety. Stop letting her sleep in your bed and let her sleep in her own wee bed outside your room and more play time during the day so she's burning off that hunting energy she'd use as an outdoor cat. You don't say what breed she is but some are naturally more vocal than others but it doesn't necessarily mean she's asking you for something? My cat got very clingy when I was wfh over lockdown and I had to build up time apart while being in the same house so he didn't get stressed when I went back to the office.

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:18

Glitterspy · 12/10/2022 20:13

OP in the nicest possible way what she wants is probably to go outside and play in the big wide world out there. Why do you keep her inside and walk her on a leash?

She's too timid and not the brightest bulb in the box. She would get herself killed or into some scraps if let out.

She doesn't like going out mostly. I have to go out then she follows.

OP posts:
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:21

TheSausageKingofChicago · 12/10/2022 20:15

Time for a new kitten. My boy is totally pampered too. I always fed him the best food because nothing but the best for my Prince 👑 We got a kitten when he was 2 and they played together a lot. Sadly the little one was killed in a road accident which broke all out hearts, but he loved having a playmate.
I ran out of posh food recently and grabbed the only food they had in the corner shop. Turns out Mr Michelin Starred cat food loves cheap biscuits. I just spoil him with a bit of left over roast chicken or shepherds pie every now and again.

You sound like me. I had cat pate moose thing for when she had dental work and she was constantly hungry so ended up spending more buying the cheap stuff.

OP posts:
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:22

Caspianberg · 12/10/2022 20:15

I couldn’t have a indoor cat only for this reason. In my experience, unless they are old and frail, they just have too much energy.

Mine followed me for a 3km walk though the woods behind house earlier, came home and started attaching a fern leaf in the garden. Then followed Ds around ages whilst he played. He’s 4 years old.

I wouldn’t get another if money problems. We have two cats. Born in same litter. They slept and played together the first 18 ish months and then have ignored each other since.

Aw he sounds cute. I know we aren't until money better

OP posts:
Prinnny · 12/10/2022 20:22

Do people actually walk cats on a leader like a dog? 😂

Sounds like she’s bored shitless, just like you would be restricted to the confines of your home and garden (on a lead).