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Original poster

Demanding cat - to want some time to myself??

147 replies

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 19:44

This is going to sound ridiculous but here goes.

Me and DP have a 14 month old cat. I have completely babied her which I will admit. She sleeps on my bed with me and she is lavished with attention from us both.

However it's now getting too much. She follows us around the house meowing at us constantly, when we are watching TV she sits staring at us like every single day, all day. She freaks out when we close a door if we need the loo or I'm on a work call for example.

She has everything she could possibly want. I walk her in the garden (she's house cat) every time she wants to go out. She's entertained by us etc.

I just want some time to myself after work and I've cleaned up. She has poo DP harassed when he sits on the couch after 12 hour shifts.

She's neutered. Vaccinated. Eating well etc.

What do I do? I'm giving up watching a film atm. She's eyeballing me...

OP posts:
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7
Sweettea89 · 12/10/2022 22:53

VenusClapTrap · 12/10/2022 21:27

Let her out.

Have you not read the OP responses the cat is timid and doesn't want to. Not every cat can go out.

FettleOfKish · 12/10/2022 22:54

Can recommend a bit of catnip. Our clingy noisy boy got some new toys today, and he's been like this for about 2 hours now 🤭

Demanding cat - to want some time to myself??
Sweettea89 · 12/10/2022 22:56

Or you could try calmers like feliway, hemp oil etc if you think it's more anxiety based.

Feelinglikeachange22 · 12/10/2022 23:00

My dogs do this and it drives me insane. Follow me around and stare at me.

However my cat is little Mrs Independent
She is an outdoor cat though so comes and goes as she pleases. And snuggles on my bed at night which I love.

Perhaps your cat it bored being a house cat and is looking at to take her outside?

AnApparitionQuipped · 12/10/2022 23:04

I love demanding cats. Any chance of a picture @Nymeria6 ?

Original poster
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 23:14

Prinnny · 12/10/2022 20:22

Do people actually walk cats on a leader like a dog? 😂

Sounds like she’s bored shitless, just like you would be restricted to the confines of your home and garden (on a lead).

Yes I walk her on a lead in the back garden. She's too timid to go out in the front and becomes very stressed.

Atm she's even struggling to go out in the back. She doesn't want to go out. Not sure if it's too cold for her.

Last year she cried until we stuck the heating on one day. She's not a normal cat, she does think she's human.

She has lots to do in the house and plenty stimulation. I just think she may be acting like a spoilt madam.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 23:16

Reallyreallyborednow · 12/10/2022 20:24

Get another cat. This is why many rescues will only give kittens in pairs — they really do need company during the day, and they’ll be much less needy

rescues give kittens in pairs as then they only need to find half the homes.

cats don’t need company, or not from other cats.

o/p you have an indoor cat, who appears to be very attached to you. Have you considered that she may not appreciate another cat? She may see it as competition for territory, both physical space and your attention.

i am one that got my cat a “friend” for company. While they seemed to get on, shared a basket etc, we had a hell of time with territorial stress behaviour. They shorted out my electrics, exploded two toasters and ruined carpets and furniture with stress peeing. The neediness got horrendous as they tried to compete.

in the end (this is after years of trying) we separated them and one went to my mum. They both were so much happier as only cats, all the stress behaviour stopped, and they became much more settled.

interestingly the one that went to my mum absolutely adored the dog, they were inseparable.

Should have said earlier our vet actually counselled us out getting another cat due to how sensitive and stressed our girl is. She said her personal opinion. So I think you may be right. Its hard one. Just want her to be happy and she doesn't seem to be.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 23:18

Notjusta · 12/10/2022 20:27

Can you just leave the back door or a window open for her and see if she wants to go out? I don't think cats are meant to be indoor creatures. I have a very dim and very timid cat but he still likes to go out and about (even if he is scared by plants blowing in the breeze 🤣)

Could ours be from the same litter? 🤣 mine is very beautiful but very dumb.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 23:20

Curiosity101 · 12/10/2022 20:33

You can really tell the demographic is mostly UK/English.

In the US it's very common to keep cats indoors and leash train them so they can be exercised a couple of times a day outdoors. Indoor cats can be perfectly happy and healthy.

Honestly OP - you just need some boundaries. We have two indoor cats from the same litter. They tolerate each other but they certainly don't socialise with each other. It's very hit and miss whether two cats will bond and socialise, often tolerating eachother is about as good as it gets.

If it were me I'd just make sure she's got plenty of toys and generally ignore her if you want some space. It's not like you'll be saying no all the time.

I think youre right. We are going to have too. We don't have any babies or anything but it's like we do have one with her. Up and down every two mins. I might try felliwell or whatever its called.

OP posts:
Newusernameaug · 12/10/2022 23:20

I have 2 dogs, 2 cats and often feel like I can never sit down for even a few mins without being pestered, but of course love it really

Original poster
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 23:22

TheRubyRedshoes · 12/10/2022 20:34

@Nymeria6

What condition does She have please and what is a cat mat?

I can't spell it but its called caliche virus. The right spelling will come up in Google. It's attacked all her teeth so she's had few ops to help her mouth. It's a mat that I bought that lights up and flickers like little bugs on and off. She's never used it except to snooze on

OP posts:
Original poster
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 23:24

Pebblebeach15 · 12/10/2022 20:34

could your cat actually be more scared outside because she is on a lead . It limits her ability to potentially run , hide and jump from any perceived danger . All cats take their first steps outside cautiously . My boy would go stir crazy if he didn’t have his freedom .

I must admit she doesn't like wearing it but there's no other option. She couldn't survive on her own. She runs back to our house though if she becomes scared. I'm going to get a hutch made for her next year like a patio area so she can go in and out

OP posts:
Original poster
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 23:27

Mine hates vacuum too. We have pen shall use it more x thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 23:35

Her she is

Demanding cat - to want some time to myself??
OP posts:
catlyf · 12/10/2022 23:50

I just knew she'd be a BSH! I have 2, they love tearing around the house together. Mine are indoor only too, a) they're stupid and b) one is deaf. I did see once though that taking them outside could lead to frustration vs just keeping them inside 100% of the time.

I'd get another kitten when finances allow but also get used to a bit of staring!! She's gorgeous btw.

gamerchick · 12/10/2022 23:54

Nymeria6 · 12/10/2022 20:06

She won't go near catnip. I wish she would :))

Are you sure it's a cat?

Stop babying her. Either play till she's knackered or let her out. Theres no in-between for an only.

loottie · 12/10/2022 23:57

She looks fat for a young cat (I'm the owner of a fat cat too - rescue and I'll working on it!)

Letting her out will solve a lot of your problems, but you'll have to get over your anxiety.

My fat cat would drive me insane if we didn't get some time away from each other (I do work at home a-lot)

Dillydollydingdong · 12/10/2022 23:57

Let her out. She's bored.

loottie · 13/10/2022 00:00

She's also a very normal cat - the majority of cats treat us like slaves....nothing unique there, but I love how PFB you are with her Smile

NightsByTheLake · 13/10/2022 00:08

I think you’re being a bit dramatic to be honest.

So what is she follows you around. Feed her, give her treats and play with her a few times throughout the day to entertain her and keep her active. Let her cuddle up to you when you’re done and want to watch tv or let her choose to stare at you, it’s fine. She doesn’t seem to want to be an outdoor cat so this is her life and you are her whole life. You’ve made the two of your her life and now it’s ‘too much’. 😬 Just get on with it, love her, live your life, she’ll fit in around you, she’ll sleep more in a few years.

DramaAlpaca · 13/10/2022 00:37

Let the poor cat out, fgs. Unless for certain specific health reasons, keeping a cat indoors is unkind. Let her outside to be what she is, a cat.

jennyofthenorth · 13/10/2022 01:11

Yep! i would consider another kitty. Otherwise can you get those toys that hold treats? They have to figure out how to manipulate the toy to get the treat, enrichment toys. totally worth it (though my cats a bit ummmm slow and it took her a good long time to figure it out

thepurplewhisperer · 13/10/2022 01:36

Get her a heated throw. It works.

She'll rub it, purr and smile at you whilst on her back with paws in the air.

I have an elderly, extremely needy, vocal Siamese. This saved my sanity.

joangray38 · 13/10/2022 03:14

What about a catio/ cat proofing the garden?

Sindonym · 13/10/2022 03:28

Let her out. My cat is quite timid & has lost territory to new neighbour cats & after the death of our dog (who kept next door’s cats away). But she needs to go outside and protect her deck!

she was a rescue kitten & arrived with her sister. Her sister was the dominant cat and did bully her. She really blossomed when her sister died.

it sounds as if she won’t go far, but letting her out may make her happier