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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old and 10 month old alone for a week?

454 replies

PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 18:51

Well not alone obviously but with their grandma?

I'm 30 this month but on my birthday I'll be 38 weeks pregnant so that rules out anything exciting happening (unless I give birth! That'd be lovely)

So my husband has suggested we go for a week away next year to universal Florida as we both love it there ( we are big kids) but we don't think it'll be appropriate for a 2 year old and a 10 month old just yet plus would be nice to actually spend some time as a couple and I was really excited about it but now the mum guilt has started to creep in and I've started to feel really bad about leaving them.

My MIL has a good bond with my DS and DD isn't born yet but I'm sure they'll be okay - she's happy to look after them and they will be staying at our house with her and I'll know they'll be safe and have a good week but is it really selfish?

I just wanted to see what others thought before booking the holiday.

Thank you

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 13/10/2022 19:13

orangeisthenewpuce · 13/10/2022 18:31

It's not wrong though

Show quote history

@Revolvingwhore

lol it’s not wrong though

Cotswoldmama · 13/10/2022 19:15

I think it's a very personal choice. Whatever you choose is the right choice for you. I know I couldn't personally, not for that far, or for that long and my kids are 6 and 9! But that's just me! I don't think I could be away from them for more than a weekend!

Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 13/10/2022 19:28

Thank you everyone whose taken the time to respond.

Just to clarify I won't be travelling whilst I'm pregnant and I'm not going to Disney haha.

I think the best advice on the forum I've gotten is waiting and seeing because I don't know what the children are going to be like in a years time so I'm not going to make any rash decisions now. I'll wait until little ones 8/9 months old and see how the children and what they'd be comfortable with and take it from there.

OP posts:
Thefsm · 13/10/2022 19:45

I wouldn’t. But I’m not you. I didn’t leave my kids at all till they were 2 and then just a few hours with grandparents. It would have been far too much to expect anyone else to watch such young kids for a week dealing with missing parents. Ten month olds are just at that clingy stage too.

cherish123 · 13/10/2022 19:48

It's up to you. I would not. I can't see why you can't take DC or go somewhere else that you think will suit them.

Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 13/10/2022 19:56

cherish123 · 13/10/2022 19:48

It's up to you. I would not. I can't see why you can't take DC or go somewhere else that you think will suit them.

Well the simple answer to that is after two shit years I wanted to let my hair down, celebrate a milestone and just have a break.

It kinda sounds like people think my children won't do anything ever! They'll be literally going on holiday the following year to somewhere more suited to their needs and if I was to leave them for a weekend or a week or whatever they'd be with loving caring family members being spoilt and having a blast, I'm not exactly abandoning them to a week of absolute hell.

Saying that though all children are different and as a PP mentioned I was probably thinking the little one would be the same as my toddler now whose not too fussed, he's laid back and easy going and loves his grandma which is why I'm gonna wait and see how I and them feel at the time and take it from there.

OP posts:
PoundOfNesh · 13/10/2022 19:59

Lord some of these comments are hilarious

this thread has it all

Posters completely making up the OP is going to Disney

Posters showing absolute ignorance around attachment theory and making absolute fools out of themselves

The self righteous brigade who often admit they have no one to look after their kids anyway but still wouldn’t do it

Yawn

YANBU op, a week away won’t traumatise your children, you won’t be a bad parent, there are multiple flights out of MCO every day, in the unlikely event one is taken ill you’ll be home in a jiffy.

id not even consider asking this question, it’s a no brainer for most who don’t needlessly Martyr themselves

AgeingDoc · 13/10/2022 20:25

If I'm completely honest, had I read this thread when my children were small I would have judged the OP negatively and would probably have written one of the "how could you" responses. But now I am a lot older and hopefully a bit wiser than I was, it's not something I can get excited about.
I wouldn't have, and didn't, go on holiday without my children and I don't regret how we did things at all. However, when I look at my now adult children and their peers, many of whom were parented quite differently I see lots of happy, well adjusted young adults and I doubt things like that make a great difference. Not in isolation anyway. There's simply not one "right" way to bring up happy and healthy children.
I do know a few people who now have terrible relationships with their parents and I would say have been damaged by their upbringings but we are talking long term lack of affection and interest, not parents who took a once in a while holiday whilst loving grandparents cared for their children for a week.

Bugbabe1970 · 13/10/2022 20:33

I wouldn't
It's too far in case something happens and a LOT of work for your MIL
Have a weekend break

DarthTater3 · 13/10/2022 20:38

I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t want to be so far away from them when they’re so little. I’d wait until they’re old enough to take with. Maybe have a couple of nights away fairly close by now before baby is born then afterwards do simllar, but I wouldnt enjoy anything longer/further away as wouldn’t feel right for me or them. I’m not telling you what to do but that’s what I would do.

PoundOfNesh · 13/10/2022 20:51

DarthTater3 · 13/10/2022 20:38

I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t want to be so far away from them when they’re so little. I’d wait until they’re old enough to take with. Maybe have a couple of nights away fairly close by now before baby is born then afterwards do simllar, but I wouldnt enjoy anything longer/further away as wouldn’t feel right for me or them. I’m not telling you what to do but that’s what I would do.

But the Op hasn’t asked what you’d do

she has asked peoples view on her situation.

I find posts like yours a bit baffling, almost as if you can’t see outside of your own limited world view.

threatmatrix · 13/10/2022 20:54

Absolutely go for it, you might not get another chance.

batshitballs · 13/10/2022 20:56

It's your choice but you have asked for
Opinions so here's mine

No. I think It's a weird thing to do. Wait until your kids are a bit older and go to Florida as a family for an amazing family holiday

Go for a long weekend in Europe but don't leave two babies and jet off across the world

threatmatrix · 13/10/2022 20:56

PoundOfNesh · 13/10/2022 19:59

Lord some of these comments are hilarious

this thread has it all

Posters completely making up the OP is going to Disney

Posters showing absolute ignorance around attachment theory and making absolute fools out of themselves

The self righteous brigade who often admit they have no one to look after their kids anyway but still wouldn’t do it

Yawn

YANBU op, a week away won’t traumatise your children, you won’t be a bad parent, there are multiple flights out of MCO every day, in the unlikely event one is taken ill you’ll be home in a jiffy.

id not even consider asking this question, it’s a no brainer for most who don’t needlessly Martyr themselves

Bravo 👏👏👏👏👏

Quartz2208 · 13/10/2022 20:59

As an aside Orlando is quite different post pandemic to pre - Disney (which you arent going to I know) has the more publicised changes (and to be fair probably more far reaching) but Universal is not the same. Far far busier and more expensive (and getting worse with the exchange rate). I would also take time to do some research

threatmatrix · 13/10/2022 21:00

PrueHalliwell · 13/10/2022 19:56

Well the simple answer to that is after two shit years I wanted to let my hair down, celebrate a milestone and just have a break.

It kinda sounds like people think my children won't do anything ever! They'll be literally going on holiday the following year to somewhere more suited to their needs and if I was to leave them for a weekend or a week or whatever they'd be with loving caring family members being spoilt and having a blast, I'm not exactly abandoning them to a week of absolute hell.

Saying that though all children are different and as a PP mentioned I was probably thinking the little one would be the same as my toddler now whose not too fussed, he's laid back and easy going and loves his grandma which is why I'm gonna wait and see how I and them feel at the time and take it from there.

Show quote history

Ignore the nasty witches. Go for it, your children will have a wonderful time with their nana and enjoy it. Jealousy is a horrible trait.
thry would enjoy it anyway. The people commenting negative things are probably the ones that drag their babies on planes annoying everyone with their screaming and then having them outside bars late at night in their prams.

Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 13/10/2022 21:02

Quartz2208 · 13/10/2022 20:59

As an aside Orlando is quite different post pandemic to pre - Disney (which you arent going to I know) has the more publicised changes (and to be fair probably more far reaching) but Universal is not the same. Far far busier and more expensive (and getting worse with the exchange rate). I would also take time to do some research

We were going to research it and look into it which is another reason why we're waiting - hoping the pound picks up and seeing what's happening in a years time.

OP posts:
BajaBaja · 13/10/2022 21:04

Not at that age. Also a huge responsibility for a 60 year old. My mum is in good health but she couldn’t handle such small kids overnight etc.

luckylavender · 13/10/2022 21:08

We went to Beijing for a week when DS was 11 months. It was good for all of us.

PoundOfNesh · 13/10/2022 21:17

BajaBaja · 13/10/2022 21:04

Not at that age. Also a huge responsibility for a 60 year old. My mum is in good health but she couldn’t handle such small kids overnight etc.

Then she isn’t in good health

christ most 60 year olds still work full time, there are 60+ year olds responsible for young children full time all over this country.

Willitwork999 · 13/10/2022 21:20

Speaking as a grandma the same age, i would be absolutely shattered after just 1 day let alone 1 week. I do hope gran has a practise run of care for a few days before you go. 🤔😘

bloodynamechangethe3rd · 13/10/2022 21:26

I’ve got four kids, first time I went away with just my husband, I had a 9 year old and a 2 year old, then I added in an 11 month old at the time we went away, and the following time, we go away for the same week every year bar the years I was preggers, so the following time I left my youngest who was 15 weeks.
my mum and mother in law juggled them between them, I got a break and some sanity back, and I think people who refuse to leave their kids are insane, every single mum in the world parents better after a little rest and recuperation (and some tequila)

my advise is do it and enjoy it.

BajaBaja · 13/10/2022 21:36

@PoundOfNesh It really depends on a type of life one has had. I guess the correct way of saying this is that my mum is in good health but burnt out. If that makes sense. Only recently retired from working as a nurse her whole life, and looking after my dad who is an invalid for the past 5 yrs, since he had a stroke. Not in this county also. So yes, she couldn’t handle it.

Whitepouringglue · 13/10/2022 21:37

I think it would be worth it if mental health was struggling terribly or to save a marriage.

Brieandcamembert · 13/10/2022 21:37

It's an incredibly long way away if your children weren't settled or got sick. What about a weekend away in the UK when they are so little and all of you go to Florida in the future?

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