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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would your DH do?

114 replies

ItSeesMe · 11/10/2022 21:27

You've just learned that you've been fast tracked for cancer screening due to post menopausal bleeding. Would your DH stay at home to keep you company because you're obviously down, or would he go to the pub with his mates?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 11/10/2022 21:28

My husband would definitely stay home. I wouldn't even have to ask.

Kocakolakazza · 11/10/2022 21:29

My DH would stay home.

I'm sorry OP. I hope you're ok.

RedSkyAtKnight · 11/10/2022 21:31

Mine would do what I wanted. Would stay with me, without question, but would also give me space if I requested that. Would definitely not fuck off down the pub with his mates if I needed his support.

OrlandointheWilderness · 11/10/2022 21:31

Oh you know the answer to this one. Mine would not only stay, as we don't live together he would drop everything to be with me.
I'm so sorry. Fingers crossed.

ForensicFlossy · 11/10/2022 21:31

My dh would happily stay with me but would also be aware that I need space to deal with things and I would sometimes prefer him to go for a pint rather than sitting and watching me.

Hapoydayz · 11/10/2022 21:32

Stay home as no doubt I’d want to talk or at least not let my mind run away with things as they can do if alone. Or not even talk just be a distraction. Hope you are ok Op

sheepdogdelight · 11/10/2022 21:32

DH would ask whether I would prefer company or to be left on my own. (Quite often when I'm down, the last thing I want is someone fussing over me). And then do what I asked for.

CoveredInCobwebs · 11/10/2022 21:32

Of course he would stay home, because I’d want him there. I’m sorry, OP.

Cakeandcoffee93 · 11/10/2022 21:32

Mine would ask me if I wanted to do something to take my mind off it, or cry, or do whatever I wanted. As I would do for him. He doesn’t care if he’s gone the pub. Or he does and he’s stupid!

Gardenerboo · 11/10/2022 21:32

Mine would go to the pub, he really doesn’t care about me.

Creasedlinen · 11/10/2022 21:34

If he'd already got plans I think he'd stick to them, but he wouldn't arrange to go out if it wasn't already planned.

PrunellaMcTat · 11/10/2022 21:34

Mine would ask what I needed, and do that.

lannistunut · 11/10/2022 21:35

Mine would stay home unless I wanted to be on my own (sometimes I like my space when stressed) but he would want to be with me.

Sorry OP, hope it is a false alarm Flowers

CoughCoughCoughh · 11/10/2022 21:35

Mine would go to the pub. It wouldn't even occur to him to think to stay home. (Not excusing his behaviour, this is just how he is). It's deeply upsetting I know and I'm so sorry you're going through all of this

totallyoutnumbered · 11/10/2022 21:35

I had a scare not long ago. My DP couldn't have been more supportive and concerned. Im so sorry on top your worries you're having to post on here OP 😔 x

RosesAndHellebores · 11/10/2022 21:36

I have been fast tracked for a different sort of cancer. DH had a non negotiable work appointment. I went to the appointment and dealt with it. It wasn't cancer. he wouldn't have gone to the pub with his mates

We are devoted to each other.

Hankunamatata · 11/10/2022 21:36

Mine would have carried on as normal unless I explained I was worried and what I needed from him

JessesMum777888 · 11/10/2022 21:37

I’m not sure everyone knows for sure there husband would stay.
some people don’t know how to deal with such news and sort of bury there head in the sand. When my mum died I was like right back to work the next day , crack on as normal, not because I’m heartless but because we were taught not to show emotion as kids. (A lot of counselling has taught me this) .
we don’t know your husband so he might be an arse but he might also be panicking and not knowing what to do.
either way I’m sending lots of love x

SkirridHill · 11/10/2022 21:38

Mine would've gone to the pub. One of the reasons he's an ex.

Vallmo47 · 11/10/2022 21:39

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. My husband would be there for me if I asked for it but he’s very much the type of “carry on as normal, otherwise it will make things even worse” type. I’m pretty confident he wouldn’t go to the pub but he’d still do his own thing and just “be available” if need be.

Discovereads · 11/10/2022 21:40

It sort of depends on the pub outing. If it’s say old friends visiting from hours away and planned for months, I would not want him home with me.

I think though he’d always offer to stay home? So whether he goes or not, surely the decent thing is to ask are you ok and do you want me to stay home?

TheSoapyFrog · 11/10/2022 21:42

I imagine he'd ask me what I wanted to do. Chances are I'd rather he was out so I could process the news first.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 11/10/2022 21:43

Mine only goes out once every 6 months with his mates so it's kind of a big event. He is very practical but offering emotional support is not his forte. So for example he would maybe take the kids more so I could relax or run to the shops and get me whatever. But it might not occur to him to cancel his mates. However I think he would do if I asked

TabithaTittlemouse · 11/10/2022 21:44

He would stay even if I didn’t want him to because he would be worried.

I’m so sorry @ItSeesMe

Vulpine · 11/10/2022 21:45

Can't you both go to the pub

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