What would your DH do?

[ItSeesMe]

You've just learned that you've been fast tracked for cancer screening due to post menopausal bleeding. Would your DH stay at home to keep you company because you're obviously down, or would he go to the pub with his mates?

To be fair, he has offered to do the dishwasher when he gets back.

I have to agree with this. I would want him away to process the news quietly myself.

If I asked him to stay, he would.

Some men don’t know how to deal with issues such as these, talk to him. 💐

I think I’d go to the pub! You have the referral, nothing you can do now but wait for results. I hope you receive kindness and support all around you

To be fair, he has offered to do the dishwasher when he gets back

wow. Pretty low bar there. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. My DH wouldnt be at the pub - he’s not really an “ out with mates kind of person”. He might be at work though.

He would stay but then what was the conversation before he left? Did you tell him to go ..? Does he know how worried you may be??
Hope you're ok 🤞

I think he would want to stay home, but to be honest in your shoes I would want to go to the pub myself too.
Good luck, hope everything turns out ok.

Very loaded question.

When I was awaiting my appointment at the Cancer clinic, I didn't want people standing around fussing over me, I wanted to work on the principle that everything was fine until proven otherwise.
So my dh would have carried on doing whatever he had planned to do on that night, as I would have wanted him to do.

Mine would do what I wanted.

I had cancer in 2020 and tbh I like to be left alone to deal with stuff.

I imagine mine would go out, I’m not one to be fussed over and he’s definitely not one for fussing

My dh doesn't go to the pub. He may well go out for a walk to process the news had I told him. In reality, I would keep the news to myself until I had answers. I see little point of us both worrying when I could shoulder it myself.

There's no actual news though? You're just waiting on tests. I'm not sure it would occur to me to stay home in his shoes either.

I mean if he told me he needed to me, I would unless it was a very long planned or unusual social thing, but I don't think automatically stay home. FWIW inwas on 2ww (all good thankfully) and I don't remember doing anything different to usual. I'll worry when I know there's something to worry about.

I'm really sorry. You must be spinning out. He is being an arsehole. YaNbu.

I wouldn't necessarily want mine to stay as I hate being fussed over and would probably rather be left alone.

But he would offer to stay.

Honestly... my DP would go out. He's not very good with emotions, or the threat of illnesses. The loss of his mum unexpectedly when younger has affected him quite deeply and he finds it difficult to see me unwell. Though this appears very selfish of him, and I would feel let down by him, I now understand his behaviour. I think he would take some time out to reflect/worry/gather his thoughts.

I found someone on my wavelength

Stay home. X

Exactly this.

And I’d pack him off to the pub. Personally I can’t bear being fussed over and he’d get more out of talking it through with mates than he would trying not to show his own worry around me.

I sincerely hope it turns out to be just something minor, OP.

Mine would go out and I wouldn’t expect any different. At this point there’s nothing to process as it is a referral for further tests and although I would be worried until the tests are done there’s nothing to be done. I had this recently and carried on as normal until I knew more (was fine but was v 50/50)

Mine would do this too.

My DH is great but he would probably go to the pub. Unless I was a teary mess and specifically asked him not to.

In the past he’d go to the pub because he’s an alcoholic with PTSD (Iraq 2003) and couldn’t cope if someone else needed support.

Now, after treatment for PTSD (no longer drinks) he’d probably stay at home but not look after me as he can’t cope if I need help. Can’t support anyone ever

He would ask me what I preferred. But, tbh, if I were concerned about something like this then I'd probably tell him to go out & have a good time, so that I could have some space.

I’m so sorry you have to even ask

Funny enough I just had my appointment today for the very same thing. Thankfully all clear over hear but my DH got up this morning and was just about ready to leave when I asked him where he was going. He somehow had forgotten overnight of my important appointment and that I needed the car and he had to deal with a builder at midday. I wasn’t happy at all and to me
showed a complete lack of care or
concern for me. I am thankful it was all clear but it was very stressful waiting for the appointment

hope all goes well
for you

Just to say, DGM had the same and it was just a polyp which was very easily treated with no issues at all. Hope you're ok.