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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour being ridiculous or AIBU?

175 replies

Southwig22 · 11/10/2022 18:57

Today a neighbour stopped me whilst walking my dog and told me I'd been allowing him to "foul" his property. He then showed me his ring doorbell footage of my dog cocking his leg on a bush right on the boundary of his front garden and the public footpath.

I apologised for any offence but also pointed out that's what dogs do - pointed towards my home and that I see dogs urinating on my bushes daily and it's really not a problem. Obviously there are no health risks or anything like there is for dog waste.

Despite me apologising he carried, and said it was damaging his property and he would report me (to who??), at which point I said he was being silly and this is not a reportable problem.

Honestly he was quite polite but AIBU to think he's being utterly ridiculous to approach someone about this.

OP posts:
High5InALowRide · 11/10/2022 20:47

I'm not a dog fan and my garden has a wall and gate so dogs don't come in but I couldn't get excited about this. I assume dogs just do this and there's not much I can do about jt? Cats do similar so i doubt dog wee is more offensive. I would probably try and not let dog wee in people's gardens but I don't know how preventable it is. I must admit I have had dogs come in and wee when the gate was open and I was annoyed but more to do with owners not having the dog in control (on a long lead) being the issue.

ChillinwiththeVillains · 11/10/2022 20:47

I have a dog who I trained to pee in the gutter. We’ve been to countries where people carry a squirty bottle of water to rinse away any of their dog pee on pavement. I can smell dog pee on street corners and do think it is bad owner behaviour. It’s a bit like the cat owner argument about it being in their nature to kill all wildlife (so pleased our dog keeps our garden a bird friendly zone). Dogs do want to scent mark but I think that they can be, and should be, trained not to affect other people’s enjoyment of their garden. And if I ruled the world I’d make cat owners cat-proof their gardens so their cats couldn’t get out into neighbouring gardens.

Newmum0322 · 11/10/2022 20:52

I voted YANBU… but after reading the comments I changed my mind.

On the face of it it seemed a bit aggressive for someone to seek you out about such an issue, but as others have pointed out:

  1. how else would he have got you to stop
  2. people could tread it into the house
  3. and it could kill his plants over time

It might be a non issue to me generally speaking, but it’s not to him and I can understand on balance why he approached you the way he did.
Neither of you unreasonable, hopefully you’ll stop letting your dog urinate on his plants and next time you see each other it will be a more pleasant neighbourly exchange!

Woodchiponthewall · 11/10/2022 20:54

If that happened to me I’d think he was being totally ridiculous. My male terrier gets huge enjoyment out of scent marking and sniffing. I agree with the poster who said that not allowing them to do that reasonably freely is cruel. I take the same route round the streets most days for an evening lead walk and my dog wees about 20 times along the route. Homeowners have seen this many times with no issue. One even laughs about my dog ‘sending his peemails’. Tiny droplet of wee (which is what it mainly is) is not going to kill a plant. Most of the reactions on here are borderline hysteria.

thelobsterquadrille · 11/10/2022 20:56

VioletInsolence · 11/10/2022 20:35

Do your clients know that? Because no way I’d let you walk my dogs. Male dogs need to scent mark - it’s just what they do and they’re not going to enjoy their walk with you if you just drag them along. It’s quite cruel.

Show quote history

No dog in the world needs to scent mark up people's homes or property, and it's certainly not cruel to stop them doing so Hmm

99% of my walks are in the countryside so they can pee up trees to their hearts content, but on streets (eg. from the car to the walk) none of them are allowed to scent mark anyone's private property. It's hugely disrespectful and rude to allow your dog to mark someone's home in that way.

You wouldn't let them shit on someone's doorstep so why do you let them piss up their garden wall?

gah2teenagers · 11/10/2022 20:56

You may be used to the smell of dog piss but the rest of us aren’t. I would find it disgusting if someone did this on my garden regularly. Why do you think this is in anyway ok.

thelobsterquadrille · 11/10/2022 20:58

Foolsandtheirmoney · 11/10/2022 20:40

I'm thinking this. How are people not allowing dogs to scent mark? If you are on a long street with houses all along are you just dragging the dog along? I can't think of any other way I could stop my dog from marking other than drag him along for 15mins until we get to the park?

Show quote history

Put them on a short lead along the streets, and walk them on the roadside, not next to people's homes.

There's absolutely need to drag them anywhere, just manage them properly. They can pee as much as they like on long leads, or if they're off-leads in the countryside or on trails etc.

Theraffarian · 11/10/2022 20:58

It’s pretty grim to let your dog wee over someone else’s plants. I say that as a dog lover and previous owner , but also a keen gardener. Oddly I don’t buy my plants expecting dog owners to let them piddle all over them , but as I know a fair few think it’s acceptable I never garden round the edge of our property without disposable plastic gloves on . Not very environmentally friendly but I refuse to get dog wee on my decent fabric gardening gloves . The same goes for all our hedges that seem fair game too.

Newmum0322 · 11/10/2022 20:59

Woodchiponthewall · 11/10/2022 20:54

If that happened to me I’d think he was being totally ridiculous. My male terrier gets huge enjoyment out of scent marking and sniffing. I agree with the poster who said that not allowing them to do that reasonably freely is cruel. I take the same route round the streets most days for an evening lead walk and my dog wees about 20 times along the route. Homeowners have seen this many times with no issue. One even laughs about my dog ‘sending his peemails’. Tiny droplet of wee (which is what it mainly is) is not going to kill a plant. Most of the reactions on here are borderline hysteria.

”not allowing them to do that reasonably freely is cruel”.

and you said other posts were borderline hysteria… 😂

HikingforScenery · 11/10/2022 21:12

Woodchiponthewall · 11/10/2022 20:54

If that happened to me I’d think he was being totally ridiculous. My male terrier gets huge enjoyment out of scent marking and sniffing. I agree with the poster who said that not allowing them to do that reasonably freely is cruel. I take the same route round the streets most days for an evening lead walk and my dog wees about 20 times along the route. Homeowners have seen this many times with no issue. One even laughs about my dog ‘sending his peemails’. Tiny droplet of wee (which is what it mainly is) is not going to kill a plant. Most of the reactions on here are borderline hysteria.

20times? That sounds so gross 🤢

Abcdefgh1234 · 11/10/2022 21:13

no everyone like dog op!. I hate dogs. I dont think they are cute. I hate every kind of dogs. If there is a dog pee in my property i will definitely annoyed.

phishy · 11/10/2022 21:20

I can’t afford a dog so why should I be happy with other people’s dogs fouling my garden?

Lesserspotteddogfish · 11/10/2022 21:21

My dog did the same on a front garden a few houses down years ago. A man sprung out of his house from across the road and yelled at me about it. I answered that it was just a wee, but he was almost jumping up and down with rage. All I could think was he better not be a cat owner as we had multiple cats crapping in our garden front and back and just expected to put up with that. Anyway, I stopped going that way rather than have to drag the poor dog into the road every time she wanted a wee. We drove to parks instead.

Confusion101 · 11/10/2022 21:21

Post 1: Honestly he was quite polite

Later on you mention: I don't think this is a usual thing to seek out a neighbour you've never spoken to before and castigate them

So which was it?? As someone said its a non event. He asked you to stop, you said you will, move on.

MajorCarolDanvers · 11/10/2022 21:22

Your neighbour was politely asking you to stop doing something (disgusting) and you are going to comply

The end.

Coatdegroan · 11/10/2022 21:23

My dog know he can't piss on houses or businesses.
Except for the Con Club.

m00rfarm · 11/10/2022 21:24

Dogs piss on the gate to the entrance to my property and I have to walk past it on the way in and out of my house and it drives me mad. I hate the smell. Why do I need to smell your dog piss. Let it piss on your own bushes. Or find a lamp post. I have to weed the area - and it is disgusting.

Hymnulop · 11/10/2022 21:27

pocketvenuss · 11/10/2022 19:01

If you know he hates it then just guide your dog elsewhere. You don't have to let him pee on the man's plants. Yes dogs pee but it's weird and entitled to think that should mean he has no right to object to you allowing your dog to pee on his plants. The urine may indeed kill the plant. Our dogs have killed some f our plants by repeated urinating. Can't you just walk your dog past his house?

All of this.

Can't bear dog owners who act entitled like you, he's highlighted it to you so stop your dog from doing it.

Caroffee · 11/10/2022 21:29

He is being ridiculous. It's what dogs do. There is nobody to report you to. If that's all he has to moan about, he must have had a very easy life.

Jellybean23 · 11/10/2022 21:30

Your neighbour shouldn't have had to raise the situation with you. You should have realised it wasn't right to let your dog cock its leg there . Would you like it if someone's dog cocked its leg over your boundary, especially this summer.

RootinandTootin · 11/10/2022 21:31

i feel like this isn’t an issue. If he didn’t have a door cam he wouldn’t even know. Dogs wee everywhere and it’s washed away by rain. I’d probably move the dog along because I wouldn’t want the confrontation but yeh a bit over the top and silly

Original poster
Southwig22 · 11/10/2022 21:33

RootinandTootin · 11/10/2022 21:31

i feel like this isn’t an issue. If he didn’t have a door cam he wouldn’t even know. Dogs wee everywhere and it’s washed away by rain. I’d probably move the dog along because I wouldn’t want the confrontation but yeh a bit over the top and silly

Yes I think most of the posters commenting about how they'd be outraged if this was happening at their house would be quite surprised at this if they got a door cam!

Although of course it smells so strongly and kills any plant on instant contact they'd surely already know 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
Southwig22 · 11/10/2022 21:36

Jellybean23 · 11/10/2022 21:30

Your neighbour shouldn't have had to raise the situation with you. You should have realised it wasn't right to let your dog cock its leg there . Would you like it if someone's dog cocked its leg over your boundary, especially this summer.

As I've said several times - multiple dogs urinate up the bushes in front of my house every day. It's not a problem, there is 0 harm.

I still appreciate that he may not like it, and don't think he's unreasonable for that (if not a bit weird and needs to find a hobby!).

OP posts:
Parkinglotlatte · 11/10/2022 21:39

I think you are being completely unreasonable! You happily let your dog piss all over your neighbour's garden and complain when he politely asks you to stop! Would you be happy if the guy took a pee over your garden every night on the way home from the pub? You've been really disrespectful - its cringey to imagine myself blantantly letting my dog pee over my neighbours' property. Not everyone loves dogs and not everyone is as blase about dog urine being blasted over their plants on a regular basis by their neighbour. It is quite gross and you are lucky he was so polite about it!

lannistunut · 11/10/2022 21:46

I think it was weird to say he would report it because I don't think there is anywhere he can, but I think it is disgusting to let your dog piss on someone's property, so I applaud him for asking you to stop and think you should. Put your dog on the far side and it can piss on the verge.