Neighbour being ridiculous or AIBU?

[Southwig22]

Today a neighbour stopped me whilst walking my dog and told me I'd been allowing him to "foul" his property. He then showed me his ring doorbell footage of my dog cocking his leg on a bush right on the boundary of his front garden and the public footpath.

I apologised for any offence but also pointed out that's what dogs do - pointed towards my home and that I see dogs urinating on my bushes daily and it's really not a problem. Obviously there are no health risks or anything like there is for dog waste.

Despite me apologising he carried, and said it was damaging his property and he would report me (to who??), at which point I said he was being silly and this is not a reportable problem.

Honestly he was quite polite but AIBU to think he's being utterly ridiculous to approach someone about this.

[DJhowzy]

@Southwig22

Yes definitely agree, and I acknowledge this when I say I don't think he is BU for being upset about it.

I can honestly say without him raising it this would never be on my radar of possible issues, it's so much of a non-issue to me!

The AIBU is about telling him it's ridiculous to threaten to report it and continue going on about it once I've apologised and accepted his concern.

I think that what was said by both parties was said in the heat of the moment, and that is OK.

Your neighbour complained and rightly so. You have agreed to steer your dog elsewhere. Great! Complaint resolved amicably and it is now time to move on.

I think OP, YABU for creating this ridiculous thread and banging on about what the neighbour said. You resolved the issue between you. Move on and let it go, no need for a none topic and a none event to fill your head for any longer than needed. This should have ended at the doorstep at the time of the complaint.

We live and learn.

[cupofteaandabiccyplease]

Op won't mind if I come and pee on her lawn then, it's fragrant as I have diabetes it smells of hay! 😁

[acrimoniousone]

@Southwig22

It doesn't stink at all, it's not saturated in urine is it 🙄

Or maybe the neighbour is laying on the floor sniffing his six inch high plant?

Maybe it doesn't stink to you, but you are used to it. Bit like tobacco.

[Cw112]

Few things, are you opening your door and letting your dog run over to pee where they want around your neighbourhood or are they on lead? As a dog owner I'd never let my dog run into someone's garden or onto their property unleashed. If my dog is unleashed I would never let my dog urinate on someone's plants because it does damage them - all you have to do is look at the wee dead patches on my lawn where he's peed to know it's not great for plants. I think you need to be a bit more considerate.

[ZeldaWillTellYourFortune]

@ittakes2

You yourself said he was polite. If you think someone can’t politely ask you to stop doing something to their property they don’t like - then where does this leave you? You don’t need to understand why he doesn’t like it - it’s not for you to judge whether he is being unreasonable or not - it’s his property and it’s very entitled if you to tell him he should be ok with it.

Exactly.

I had to put up a decorative fence which i really don't want, to keep inconsiderate dog owners from killing my plants.

I never let my dog pee onto private property.

[Talkwhilstyouwalk]

It might be what dogs do but I hate seeing dogs pissing on my property and this would annoy me too. Perhaps you could have rinsed it with a bottle of water or something....

[Dutch1e]

This is the problem with people who wait until they're really wound up before saying something, even when that something is perfectly reasonable like "keep your dog's piss off my property."

As you say, he's probably going to have this conversation with 20 dog owners who regularly stop at his garden but instead of pulling them up after the first or second time he's seethed until he can't hold it in anymore. So your 'penance' is to make agreeable murmurs while he gets it off his chest. Fair enough, cop it on the chin.

[AdobeWanKenobi]

Those of you who have scent marking males, are they castrated? Because that reduces the need to scent mark in a lot of cases.

And yes It does smell. Maybe not when he’s just done it but when the sun hits the pavement and the soil and it gets a bit warm it stinks. But you’ve long by then so won’t smell it.
And yes, it does damage plants. You might not be able to see it because it soaks into the roots and starts work there, slowly killing the plant from the root up.

And yes. I’m a dog owner who trained her not to piss in the gutter.

[been and done it.]

@Southwig22

Read the poll results, not those getting their knickers in a twist commenting

How rude! You asked - people have commented but because their comments don't sit well with you we're getting our knickers in a twist...you're cheeky on all counts.

[vivainsomnia]

I've noticed a horrendous urine smell walking past a lamp post near the bus stop which must be really unpleasant for people waiting for the bus
Most likely drunk men who can't hold it standing and waiting!

[vivainsomnia]

Another excuse fir having a go at dog owners. Cats wee everywhere, foxes wee everywhere, so do other animals around.

If you are in a town, dogs will wee in their walks. That's part of it. They wee where others wee. Walls, car tyres, bushes.

Dog poo stink and is disgusting. Animal wee doesn't smell and is much much less likely to kill plants than snails and other such predators.

Some people need a life!

[been and done it.]

I don't let my dog pee up people's wheels and I do generally pull him away from people's property if I'm honest. That said we have great dog walks near, so it's not too far to walk to them. If you're just estate walking it's not that easy. I've noticed a horrendous urine smell walking past a lamp post near the bus stop which must be really unpleasant for people waiting for the bus.

[thelobsterquadrille]

@MossCoveredTree

@thelobsterquadrille apologies, I thought you hated dog owners yourself which I can see is not the case

I am in agreement with you. I think where we differ is that I find some of the reactions on this thread to be really over the top to what I honestly consider to be quite a trivial matter in the scheme of things. The hostility of some people is quite depressing at times.

I honestly would not be able to tell if a dog had peed on my garden bordering the street. If it pissed up my front door, then yes I would not like that.

We are all different I suppose.

No problem!

The thing is, while one dog may not be an issue in itself, we all know that as soon as one dog pees there, they all do and then it really does start to have an impact.

[MossCoveredTree]

@thelobsterquadrille apologies, I thought you hated dog owners yourself which I can see is not the case

I am in agreement with you. I think where we differ is that I find some of the reactions on this thread to be really over the top to what I honestly consider to be quite a trivial matter in the scheme of things. The hostility of some people is quite depressing at times.

I honestly would not be able to tell if a dog had peed on my garden bordering the street. If it pissed up my front door, then yes I would not like that.

We are all different I suppose.

[Bobbins36]

@Southwig22

I do! And as I said, all the neighborhood dogs urinate up my bushes - why on earth would it be a problem?!

Speaking as a dog owner, it wouldn’t bother me. But I’m used to dogs! To a non dog person I can easily see why this is annoying, esp if you are worried about damage. Be respectful and take the dog away from his garden.

[thelobsterquadrille]

@MossCoveredTree

@thelobsterquadrille I think you reveal yourself when you say you are not surprised people hate dog owners. Most rational people don't hate blanket group of people. I certainly don't.

Well, judging by all the threads on here and posts I see IRL slamming dog owners, it seems lots of people do hate them 🤷🏻‍♀️

As a dog owner and dog walker, I think it's really disrespectful to allow animals in your care to urinate up other people's property. Yes, dogs need to scent and to wee but that doesn't mean they need to do it wherever they fancy.

Training and management is all it takes to stop them doing it in the streets, and then when they're in the park or in the woods, they're free to scent to their hearts' content.

[MossCoveredTree]

@thelobsterquadrille I think you reveal yourself when you say you are not surprised people hate dog owners. Most rational people don't hate blanket group of people. I certainly don't.

[MossCoveredTree]

I think the rule for me when walking the dog along a pavement in a residential area (which is not often)- if there are sort of uncultivated/uncared for hedgerows, strips of grass that don't look like part of someone's garden - then I wouldn't stop my dog peeing. I would not let them pee on what looked like someones garden/borders etc - close to their front door/gate or any 'tended' looking area. I think most dog owners are the same.

I wouldn't let them pee on peoples bikes or cars or other personal property

I don't think this thread is reflective of real life.

[thelobsterquadrille]

@MossCoveredTree I'm not surprised people hate dog owners when I read responses like that 😬

It should be basic common sense and decency not to let your pet piss up someone else's property, whether it's a boundary, a walk, a fence or a car.

Yes, the neighbour can't control what happens but it's not something he should even have to worry about.

He's really not unreasonable not to want other peoples dogs' pissing all over his property and it's pretty depressing that so many so-called "responsible" dog owners think he is.

[DysmalRadius]

@Southwig22

Yes definitely agree, and I acknowledge this when I say I don't think he is BU for being upset about it.

I can honestly say without him raising it this would never be on my radar of possible issues, it's so much of a non-issue to me!

The AIBU is about telling him it's ridiculous to threaten to report it and continue going on about it once I've apologised and accepted his concern.

Presumably because, although you apologised, you also gave the impression that you weren't intending to stop your dog. It is a problem for him, so I'm guessing he wanted to make sure that you were actually going to change your behaviour rather than insisting that he was wrong to be bothered.

I apologised for any offence but also pointed out that's what dogs do - pointed towards my home and that I see dogs urinating on my bushes daily and it's really not a problem.

[ittakes2]

You yourself said he was polite. If you think someone can’t politely ask you to stop doing something to their property they don’t like - then where does this leave you? You don’t need to understand why he doesn’t like it - it’s not for you to judge whether he is being unreasonable or not - it’s his property and it’s very entitled if you to tell him he should be ok with it.

[SuperCamp]

aaaagh!
I hate dogs pudding on my gate / bushes.

It stinks. It encourages other dogs to do likewise.

Why do I want bushes drenched in dog piss when I prune them?

”That’s what dogs do” . If you let them. So entitled.

Like the model of pet ownership that relies on them shitting all over other people’s gardens that is having a cat…

No I have never sought out a neighbour and asked them to stop but if I was right there when it happened I would politely suggest they piss on the owners plants instead.

[tiger2691]

I own a motorbike, it's regular for dogs to piss up against the back wheel, or much worse, soak the cover, which due to being sodden and reeking of piss requires rubber gloves when putting it on removing it. Luckily i have an outside cubbyhole, because there's no way the bike cover can be stored in my flat. I've even had dogs crap underneath the bike, between the front and back wheel.

[crustybreaddarling]

Long term dog owner here, and a vote for you being unreasonable.

If we're walking on pavements, beside houses and gardens then I don't let my dog wee on or against any part of the properties, be that walls, gates, grass, plants etc.

Possibly influenced in childhood by my non-dog-owning parents, particularly my mum who was a v keen gardener and hated her plants being weed on by passing dogs.

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

I think he was not unreasonable to ask once, but you agreed to guide him elsewhere in future and apologised. So that should be end of discussion.

He was u to carry it on at that point.

So I voted yanbu for that, but in general I’d think try to avoid your dog weeing on people’s private gardens or plants - must be some places he can wee that don’t belong to others.