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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think boys shouldn't be in women's toilets

136 replies

verazayac · 11/10/2022 12:15

...even if he's with his gay.

Just been to the shopping centre with toddler DD, she told me she needs the toilet so I took her, the women’s toilets are in a different place to the men's, I saw 2 girls with a teenage boy, I would guess between 16-18, they told him to go in with them as they didn't know where the men’s toilets were and told him he's gay and with friends anyway so he can't be accused of being a creep. I was a bit Hmm, I hurried DD and whilst we were washing our hands a few women did come in and look at him but didn't say anything.

Aibu to think he shouldn't have gone in the women's toilets even if he's gay and with friends?

OP posts:
Beezknees · 11/10/2022 13:02

Angelinflipflops · 11/10/2022 12:50

Are boys getting attacked in men's toilets a big problem?

If a woman is uncomfortable with a man being in the women's toilets then why would I have been comfortable with my young child being alone with men in the men's toilets? Mine's 14 now so he obviously uses the men's but when he was younger he came in the women's with me. Boys are at risk from male predators as well as girls.

Beezknees · 11/10/2022 13:03

A 16 year old shouldn't have been in the women's though. Too old.

Original poster
verazayac · 11/10/2022 13:03

I think OP meant even if he's gay and with his female friends.

Yes, that's what I meant.

As I said in my OP they all seemed to be 16-18 so he wasn't looking after 2 small children. I think it was just they couldn't be bothered to find the men's as he did tell them he'd wait outside then they told him to go in with them as they don't know where the men's are and ‘hes gay anyway’ so that's when he did.

Obviously, toddlers and younger children that are male should be allowed as they're too young to go in the men's alone but this isn't a young child, he's a teen.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 11/10/2022 13:04

Untitledsquatboulder · Today 12:54
Angelinflipflops · Today 12:50

Are boys getting attacked in men's toilets a big problem?

“Define "big". It certainly happens.”

this ^

girlmom21 · 11/10/2022 13:05

No he shouldn't be in the womens toilets and no being gay doesn't give you extra rights.

Live4weekend · 11/10/2022 13:05

PoundShopPrincess · 11/10/2022 12:58

I think OP meant even if he's gay and with his female friends.
He's not a boy. He's a man. He should be in the men's toilets.

Actual boys ie children - it's ok to be in with toilets with their DM or female relative.

But everyone knows this. It's only idiots that pretend they don't understand the rules. There has been consensus on where everyone goes for hundreds of years.

Is it clear to the kids here though?

There is a very high chance that this is not the message they are getting from school and their peers, online chat forums.

They are getting told that there are no reasons for males not to use the female toilets.

You would have hoped the parents would have had a not of sense about them, so he did know what was appropriate or not.

But this absolutely is not the message kids are getting from school.

Definitelymabel · 11/10/2022 13:07

Angelinflipflops · 11/10/2022 12:50

Are boys getting attacked in men's toilets a big problem?

Are women getting attacked by 10 year old boys in womens toilets a problem?

PeekAtYou · 11/10/2022 13:07

Wtf He should use the mens or wait outside the womens for his female friend like I see other men and older boys

LadyKenya · 11/10/2022 13:24

Beezknees · 11/10/2022 13:02

If a woman is uncomfortable with a man being in the women's toilets then why would I have been comfortable with my young child being alone with men in the men's toilets? Mine's 14 now so he obviously uses the men's but when he was younger he came in the women's with me. Boys are at risk from male predators as well as girls.

Show quote history

Yes. When I used to take my younger brother out, years ago if I went into the ladies, or if he needed to go, I took him into the ladies. No way was I allowing him to use the male toilets on his own, when he was so young.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 11/10/2022 13:28

Tbh a male in the female toilets with 2 female friends wouldn't bother me......a lone male however would.

CrossStichQueen · 11/10/2022 13:30

Putin that's great for you but a male in the female toilet would mean many women would be unable to then use it it doesn't matter if he is gay or with female friends.

Username75 · 11/10/2022 13:31

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PoundShopPrincess · 11/10/2022 13:32

Live4weekend · 11/10/2022 13:05

Is it clear to the kids here though?

There is a very high chance that this is not the message they are getting from school and their peers, online chat forums.

They are getting told that there are no reasons for males not to use the female toilets.

You would have hoped the parents would have had a not of sense about them, so he did know what was appropriate or not.

But this absolutely is not the message kids are getting from school.

Show quote history

Depends on the school. Our school is very clear on the difference between sex and gender. The toilets are male and female. Any boy trying to get into the girl's toilet would get into trouble.

girlmom21 · 11/10/2022 13:32

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Wow...

Angelinflipflops · 11/10/2022 13:33

Definitelymabel, who said anything about 10 year old boys attacking women? That's not why women don't want 10 year old boys in female loos. I wouldn't stop my son going into a men's toilet in the very unlikely event that he'll be attacked. What a fearful way to live

CrossStichQueen · 11/10/2022 13:33

This reply has been withdrawn

withdrawn for repeating a deleted post.

girlmom21 · 11/10/2022 13:35

Me too @CrossStichQueen

TwoWrightFeet · 11/10/2022 13:37

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Disgustingly homophobic.

Sexnotgender · 11/10/2022 13:38

YANBU. The women’s toilets are for women, not a bloody free for all.

ofwarren · 11/10/2022 13:40

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Also reported for homophobia

Live4weekend · 11/10/2022 13:42

PoundShopPrincess · 11/10/2022 13:32

Depends on the school. Our school is very clear on the difference between sex and gender. The toilets are male and female. Any boy trying to get into the girl's toilet would get into trouble.

Show quote history

That's good to know as it's actually a bit scary having a girl going to high school soon. 2 of the 3 schools had gender neutral toilets and DD was not at all keen.

But boundaries are getting eroded so I think this type of thing will happen more and more.

ReeseWitherfork · 11/10/2022 13:42

I think you’ll find those aged 16-18 are entitled to do whatever the hell they want whenever they want. They’ll tik tok you if you don’t let them.

PuttingDownRoots · 11/10/2022 13:42

There are some places where a preteen boy is better off in the ladies accompanied by his mother/carer. Other places where as young as 8 its safe for them to use mens

Teenager with his friends at the shopping centre isn't one of them.

cosmiccosmos · 11/10/2022 13:44

Who lives in Scotland? Because if all goes to plan from next week any male will be able to use the womens toilets/changing rooms etc because they are planning on voting in self id.

Children are being taught in school that you can be any gender you want and it's gender that matters. They are told they can use the toilet they feel most comfortable using.

Who is going to stop this?

HailAdrian · 11/10/2022 13:49

My son is 9 and disabled, if they haven't bothered to provide an accessible toilet then he comes with me because I'm not using the men's.