Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he named his DD after me

137 replies

LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 21:12

So a few months ago I had got back contact with an ex from years back in my high school days. The man is even more of a bigger knob now than back then. He was bragging how “successful” he was, talking about his big finance job etc. Then he proceeded to call me his “first love” and told me that he would constantly check on my on social media for years and that he was “devastated” when he found out I was had gotten married. I then blocked his number and blocked him on the social media he added me on.

Now months later I get a request from him on Facebook and I accepted (like an idiot 🙄). I then see on a recent post he has a picture of his new baby daughter who has the same name as me! Spelt exact same way ( it’s a unique name in this country and way of spelling it is also unique). What in the Adam Levine is actually wrong with this man? Why would he do this and why would he not ask for my permission?

It’s not a coincidence as he told me his children were named after his friends. His daughters middle name is his sisters first name as well.

Im just in shock. His girlfriend is rather young as well poor thing. Aibu? or do I need to just calm down.

OP posts:
AutumnalCosyness · 10/10/2022 22:43

I'm really very confused!

Nizanb · 10/10/2022 22:55

I wonder if his wife knows it's your name?

If my DH suggested a name to me, I loved it, named my child it, just for me to find out it was his exes name??? I'd be so fucking angry and I'd hope it would be early enough to change the baby's name. No matter how much I loved the name, the fact that he was thinking about his ex when he suggested it would be such a red flag for me.

Canthave2manycats · 10/10/2022 22:55

LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 21:26

The reason I’m upset is because he told me he names his DCs after his close friends. We had a whole conversation about it because I remember some of them. The first and middle names of his other DCs are named after his closest friends. It’s not simply about him “liking the name”. If saw the name without actually knowing this I wouldn’t care at all. I just feel he has personally named it after me. Especially considering the fact the middle name is his sister’s.

( now I’ve gone into too much detail )

Oh god, there are so many more important things to worry about in life!! It's not like you are actually going to meet this child!! Take it as a compliment and move the fuck on¬

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 10/10/2022 22:58

@AutumnalCosyness My bad!!! I am cracking up here, God knows where the hell I got that from, it IS Grimes.😅😂

Apologies OP for the derail

AutumnalCosyness · 10/10/2022 22:59

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 10/10/2022 22:58

@AutumnalCosyness My bad!!! I am cracking up here, God knows where the hell I got that from, it IS Grimes.😅😂

Apologies OP for the derail

Well I have never heard of Grimes 🤣

Greyarea12 · 10/10/2022 22:59

Don't know why people are having a go at you. Sometimes I think people like to.jump on the 'let's have a go at the OP' bandwagon on here. Its like if 2 or more of the first comments are people being horrible then it's a free for all.

I think its weird and disrespectful to his gf and his child.

I think you maybe worded it wrongly in saying why didn't he ask you, I think what you meant was why didn't he say to you he was going to do that, giving you the opportunity to say to him that it was fucking weird and disrespectful to his gf & baby.

People here probably know that's what you meant but being horrible cheers them up.

Cue the MN favourite - 'you have made alot of assumptions here' 😴

AutumnalCosyness · 10/10/2022 23:00

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 10/10/2022 22:58

@AutumnalCosyness My bad!!! I am cracking up here, God knows where the hell I got that from, it IS Grimes.😅😂

Apologies OP for the derail

I love your username Kermit 💚

Buteverythingsfine · 10/10/2022 23:01

I think you are right that this is very odd.

I also think it has bothered you and stirred up old emotions. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that, just that it's stirred up the unpleasant past.

I do think it needs to go back in its box, just block on social media and chalk it up to him and his weird ways and be glad you have a nice new partner.

Trez1510 · 10/10/2022 23:20

Sue his arse.

Just sue his arse.

Iammatrix · 10/10/2022 23:23

I'm named after my DFs ex according to my DM. It's not a problem.

DM told me and told me with no malice when I was a child.

DF liked the name and so do I!

LimpBiskit · 10/10/2022 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Blocked · 10/10/2022 23:53

I think you need to move on, properly.

Mamai90 · 11/10/2022 00:34

LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 21:26

The reason I’m upset is because he told me he names his DCs after his close friends. We had a whole conversation about it because I remember some of them. The first and middle names of his other DCs are named after his closest friends. It’s not simply about him “liking the name”. If saw the name without actually knowing this I wouldn’t care at all. I just feel he has personally named it after me. Especially considering the fact the middle name is his sister’s.

( now I’ve gone into too much detail )

It's common to give a middle name that's after someone. Mine and my sisters middle names are our aunts names. That's usually what middle names are for.

He presumably just likes your name. I don't know why you'd think he needs your permission. That's ridiculous!

Bringonthebloodydrama · 11/10/2022 04:30

Ffs just move on.

sandytooth · 11/10/2022 05:14

Buteverythingsfine · 10/10/2022 23:01

I think you are right that this is very odd.

I also think it has bothered you and stirred up old emotions. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that, just that it's stirred up the unpleasant past.

I do think it needs to go back in its box, just block on social media and chalk it up to him and his weird ways and be glad you have a nice new partner.

Exactly this. not intending to "have a go" at OP at all.

GloriousGlory · 11/10/2022 06:50

LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 22:25

firstly thank you all for the advice

. I do however think some of you are giving this knob too much of the benefit of the doubt. I know for a fact that his gf had no say in the name of the baby. He’s very controlling. He’s not a nice person. No I am still not fully over him and I did therapy years ago to this and many other things.

I added him after all these years because I thought I would be able to forgive him and maybe have a bit a peace. I actually spoke to DH prior who thought it would maybe be a good idea and that is I felt uncomfortable I should just block him. I thought it was good at first. However the more deeper thing. Got the more worse it became. He’s a very smart man and acts in a certain way that makes you feel kind of trapped.

Regarding his gf suggesting the name. He told me his gf has no say in the babies names. Accoriding to him the names she put forward were “stupid names”. This triggered me as I remember he would always say I would constantly say I was stupid when we were together. I was really trying to find goodness in him but I dont think it’s there any at all. When he does act nice there is always some sort of an agenda. I don’t forgive him and I don’t think I will “get over” something like that.

Utter emotive, whoa is me tosh.

You unblocked and added him because you're nosy and still have a thing for him.

Get off Facebook, it's not good for you

averageavocado · 11/10/2022 07:06

Spelt exact same way ( it’s a unique name in this country and way of spelling it is also unique).

without the name, this is useless.
Anyone remember this thread?
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3029443-AIBU-Someone-has-used-my-unusual-baby-name

AgentJohnson · 11/10/2022 07:07

Given the context of him being a knob, his behaviour isn’t as shocking as you make it out to be. However, you accepting him as a friend on fb knowing he’s a knob, very strange. You’re giving the actions of this man way too much headspace.

MeowMeowPowerRangers · 11/10/2022 07:13

How do you know about his girlfriend if you've not even had contact with him for years? You're obviously pissed off and jealous and making assumptions.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 11/10/2022 07:16

You seem very invested in this man and everything he does.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

zanahoria · 11/10/2022 07:18

You are not being totally unreasonable.

It is a bit weird considering he called you his first love.

But you do have to let it go

Herejustforthisone · 11/10/2022 07:37

If you’re married and you apparently think he’s a tool, why do you keep engaging with this guy?

Gazelda · 11/10/2022 07:52

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 10/10/2022 22:34

I wouldn't be happy if I was your husband, that a school kid who treated you so badly, that you needed therapy and still arent over, was taking up this huge amount of headspace in your lives, years later.

Agree 100%

MyneighbourisTotoro · 11/10/2022 08:36

I had a close friend who moved away many years ago to a different country, we were never romantic but we had feelings for one another, we couldn’t act on them due to him moving.
He married out there and has a beautiful wife who is from the country his lives in, a couple of years ago I found out they had a child together and had named her my first name, it could be a coincidence but I was also surprised as I wouldn’t have thought they would have used an English name.
I mentioned it to my mother and she didn’t think it was a coincidence at all.
Either way I’m glad he is happy and if he did name his daughter after me then I’m very honoured!

Begoniasforever · 11/10/2022 08:42

I think the fact this is an ex from school so they dated as teens puts this into perspective, it’s just someone who likes the name,

op, you seem really focused on him, so I am assume there is something unsaid here, in terms of your own life and romantic relationship. You are too emotionally invested in some teen boyfriend.