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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he named his DD after me

137 replies

LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 21:12

So a few months ago I had got back contact with an ex from years back in my high school days. The man is even more of a bigger knob now than back then. He was bragging how “successful” he was, talking about his big finance job etc. Then he proceeded to call me his “first love” and told me that he would constantly check on my on social media for years and that he was “devastated” when he found out I was had gotten married. I then blocked his number and blocked him on the social media he added me on.

Now months later I get a request from him on Facebook and I accepted (like an idiot 🙄). I then see on a recent post he has a picture of his new baby daughter who has the same name as me! Spelt exact same way ( it’s a unique name in this country and way of spelling it is also unique). What in the Adam Levine is actually wrong with this man? Why would he do this and why would he not ask for my permission?

It’s not a coincidence as he told me his children were named after his friends. His daughters middle name is his sisters first name as well.

Im just in shock. His girlfriend is rather young as well poor thing. Aibu? or do I need to just calm down.

OP posts:
LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 22:09

Hearthnhome · 10/10/2022 22:01

So he didn’t change in the years in between you knowing and adding him a few months ago.

And then thought he would have changed between a few months ago AND now?

really?

No the first time I added him I thought he had changed and we hadn’t been in contact for years.

If I’m honest when I got the Facebook request I accepted because I stupidly planned to have a quick little look on his profile because I’m too nosey. The first thing I see is the post of the his DD. I blocked him after. I know it was a stupid thing to do. Blush

If I only I had just instantly blocked him on Facebook and not looked at his profile I would’ve never known and been able to get on with my evening.

OP posts:
dailyfup · 10/10/2022 22:10

Probably just liked the name.
You don't own it.
I moved to a village in another country several years ago and became well known (for nice reasons) fairly quickly.
In the first two years I was here 6 babies were named after me, same name, same spelling. It's not an unusual name in the UK but it certainly is here, however it also works in the local language if you see what I mean.
I'm not bothered there are now 6 teenage girls wandering around all called after me!

5128gap · 10/10/2022 22:12

I think its weird. Names have associations with people, very unusual ones even more so. I can't imagine wanting to name a child something so strongly and presumably exclusively associated with an ex. On the back of the first love comments and his manipulative personality, its an extra layer of weird I could do without, so I'd not be engaging with him again.

sandytooth · 10/10/2022 22:13

Don't give him the satisfaction of giving it your headspace. Go do something else for a bit then go to sleep.

WhatLikeItsHard · 10/10/2022 22:15

This is why it's better to just block knobhead exes from social media.

I find it weirder that you added him and got back in contact if you thought he was a knob tbh. Though that's how my friend's affair started.

Confusion101 · 10/10/2022 22:15

I get that it's a bit weird and who knows why he did it but I don't understand why it's affecting you so much? Agree with PP, do something else for the night and forget about it

Shikamiri · 10/10/2022 22:16

@PinkButtercups 😁😁😁

Begoniasforever · 10/10/2022 22:18

Op, you’re married, stop obsessing on your ex. He’s moved on, he has a partner, a baby, focus on your marriage, if you’re not happy then make moves to end it.

EmmiJay · 10/10/2022 22:18

If my ex gave his child the same name as mines I'd be a little shit stirrer and spam his fb with stories of our escapades so his partner could see😌 I joke. Take it as a weird compliment and move on.

AutumnalCosyness · 10/10/2022 22:22

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 10/10/2022 21:48

Is your ex Elon Musk and his Gf FKA Twigs?

If so, I can see your point about the "uniqueness" of your shared names and he should pay up for breaching your copyright.

Elon Musk is dating FKA Twigs?!

DillDanding · 10/10/2022 22:22

Ask your permission? This is daft. You don't own the name. Maybe he and his poor young girlfiend just like the name.

Don't obsess over it. Move on and stop making a big deal out of it.

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 10/10/2022 22:24

Why has it stopped you getting on with ypur evening, and why are you frustrate

You dated him in school!

Drama llama much?

Block him and get over it. Can't believe you've give it this much headspace.

GrandTheftWalrus · 10/10/2022 22:25

My ex sil called her younger daughter the exact same name as the woman my exh cheated on me with. Not sure she knows that though.

LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 22:25

firstly thank you all for the advice

. I do however think some of you are giving this knob too much of the benefit of the doubt. I know for a fact that his gf had no say in the name of the baby. He’s very controlling. He’s not a nice person. No I am still not fully over him and I did therapy years ago to this and many other things.

I added him after all these years because I thought I would be able to forgive him and maybe have a bit a peace. I actually spoke to DH prior who thought it would maybe be a good idea and that is I felt uncomfortable I should just block him. I thought it was good at first. However the more deeper thing. Got the more worse it became. He’s a very smart man and acts in a certain way that makes you feel kind of trapped.

Regarding his gf suggesting the name. He told me his gf has no say in the babies names. Accoriding to him the names she put forward were “stupid names”. This triggered me as I remember he would always say I would constantly say I was stupid when we were together. I was really trying to find goodness in him but I dont think it’s there any at all. When he does act nice there is always some sort of an agenda. I don’t forgive him and I don’t think I will “get over” something like that.

OP posts:
shockthemonkey · 10/10/2022 22:28

What are you doing running around after this awful man?

Hearthnhome · 10/10/2022 22:28

LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 22:09

No the first time I added him I thought he had changed and we hadn’t been in contact for years.

If I’m honest when I got the Facebook request I accepted because I stupidly planned to have a quick little look on his profile because I’m too nosey. The first thing I see is the post of the his DD. I blocked him after. I know it was a stupid thing to do. Blush

If I only I had just instantly blocked him on Facebook and not looked at his profile I would’ve never known and been able to get on with my evening.

Ah right.

So you thought he had changed the first time. Found out he hadn’t. But spent absolutely ages talking about all the detail of his life.

Blocked him because he was a twat. Then accepted his friend request because you wanted to have nosey at his profile. Despite thinking he as that much of a knob you blocked him on another platform? You just needed to know what he posts on his timeline?

Why do I think you want people to tell you ‘oh my god….he is so obsessed with you’

its also weird that your husband knew you were having such detailed conversations with an ex where he confessed about not getting over you, being devastated when you got married, that he was so awful you blocked him, but added him again to nosey on his life and is fine with it. Doesn’t think anything odd about it all?

purpliee · 10/10/2022 22:29

Kylie Jenner tried to copyright the name 'Kylie™️' buy Kylie Minogue put an end to that nonsense.

Pallisers · 10/10/2022 22:33

LetMeSpeak · 10/10/2022 21:31

He doesn’t “suggest” names to his gf . She most likely forced to agree with it. she doesn’t have any say in the names. He’s a complete knob. Hes manipulative and I feel sorry for her.

so why are you in touch with him?

This kind of idiocy is why I am not on facebook.

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 10/10/2022 22:34

I wouldn't be happy if I was your husband, that a school kid who treated you so badly, that you needed therapy and still arent over, was taking up this huge amount of headspace in your lives, years later.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 10/10/2022 22:34

J0y · 10/10/2022 21:55

oh that's funny. Surprised the baby's mother agreed!

So was I if I'm honest, I bumped into them both not long after the baby was born which is when he told me her name. She must be mid 20s now!

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 10/10/2022 22:37

@AutumnalCosyness
They were a while back and have a DD together with a really weird name that is basically Carol Vorderman's worst nightmare on countdown.

I'm pretty sure they have split up now though.

Do keep up dear! 😂

AmadeusBreathingWater · 10/10/2022 22:37

get over yourself. and move on. why are you so invested in an ex? you also have no clue what their relationship is like despite insisting that you do Confused

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 10/10/2022 22:39

@AutumnalCosyness

They were a while back and have a DD together with a really weird name that is basically Carol Vorderman's worst nightmare on countdown.

I'm pretty sure they have split up now though.

Do keep up dear! 😂

AutumnalCosyness · 10/10/2022 22:41

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 10/10/2022 22:39

@AutumnalCosyness

They were a while back and have a DD together with a really weird name that is basically Carol Vorderman's worst nightmare on countdown.

I'm pretty sure they have split up now though.

Do keep up dear! 😂

Ha! I don't pay much attention 🤣

AutumnalCosyness · 10/10/2022 22:43

This says the mother of his child is called Grimes:

https://people.com/parents/everything-to-know-about-elon-musks-family-kids/