Big age gap. Is it love or a red flag?

[Noteverybodylives]

I will stay as neutral as possible as I genuinely want peoples true opinions.

Person A and person B are in a relationship.

Person A is young, very good looking, has a good body and has 1 young child.

Person B is not good looking, does not have a good body and has a teenager and older child.

Why would person A want to be with person B?

Person A could have their pick but has chosen person B who would struggle to find anyone half decent.

Person B is not rich.

What could it be?
Could it actually be love or do your alarm bells start ringing?

YABU - of course it’s probably love.
YANBU - no it sounds like something other than love.

Maybe not trying to be nasty but you’re succeeding!

So someone gym fit couldn’t love someone disabled, so it must be some sort of catfishing situation?! WTF.

FWIW I’m older and more overweight than my latest fling. He’s super hot and ten years younger. Why would he want to be with me? Because I’m kind, funny as fuck, intelligent and not a shallow twat. And I like him despite having a great body and handsome face tbh, not because of it! It initially put me off him 😂

So where do fit in with this ? How do you know them ? You seem to know quite a lot of details on the one hand but don't know much on the other .

My first thought was did she just tell him that. Maybe to keep him interested I don’t know.

I do believe she had one miscarriage but I think it was very, very early on - as in didn’t get her period one day, told everyone she was pregnant and then a couple days later said she’d lost it.

You don't seriously believe any of the above, do you?

The odds of a 50 yr old being able to conceive naturally are almost 0%. She's older than 50 you say. And you think it actually happened within a couple of months of them getting together?

Also, what you describe is a late period, not a miscarriage.

I love the fact that you keep saying - I'm not trying to be mean but ...
and then say the meanest, most ageist, most able-ist, and most shallow shit I've ever read.

All y'all 50 year old women with physical and 'maybe' mental health issues who aren't gym-fit, should just pack it in now.

Your opening post is full of flannel about "good bodies", but if this storyis actually true (and I have big doubts about that) there are quite a few more serious issues that you didn't even bother to mention.

I disagree.

I think two late 20 year olds who are both attractive and have good bodies etc vs a couple who’s ages and physical differences are very obvious - is a big difference.

If two late 20 year olds moved in with each other very quickly I’d think they were silly but I’ve read many stories on MN and it happens quite regularly.

But 2 people who are polar opposites doing it doesn’t happen that regularly and their is usually an extra benefit involved like money or security etc.

Absolute, total, utterly bollocks. Went a step or 10 too far with your 'story' there. Think I preferred you as a narrow minded, shallow, judgemental bitter old woman than an absolute liar.

And if any of it does happen to be true...the only reason you could be possibly be so bothered is because this good looking, young man with a fit body was attracted to B rather than you

So where do fit in with this ? How do you know them ? You seem to know quite a lot of details on the one hand but don't know much on the other .

I know the daughter of the mum.

So I have the daughters account and mums account but I only speak to the boyfriend on the rare occasion.

He could be absolutely lovely and have no bad intentions at all.
Which is why I started this thread to see if I was overthinking things or not.

I obviously try and pry a bit but nothing bad has come out and if I flag it as a concern over their ages or looks then I’ll just look like a very nasty person or even jealous.

You don't seriously believe any of the above, do you?

The odds of a 50 yr old being able to conceive naturally are almost 0%. She's older than 50 you say. And you think it actually happened within a couple of months of them getting together

I know of 2 people who’ve become unintentionally pregnant at 50 and one at 48, so I know it definitely does happen.

As I said she may have said it just to keep him.
And I do think she missed her period but it’s not for me to call someone who says they had a miscarriage a liar anyway.

If this is real, this is a woman in her 50s who is, for whatever reason, faking multiple pregnancies and miscarriages. She is either delusional or has some other serious mental health problem, and it sounds like Person A is feeding that delusion.

That's the red flag. Not her attractiveness.

I love the fact that you keep saying - I'm not trying to be mean but ...
and then say the meanest, most ageist, most able-ist, and most shallow shit I've ever read.

😂😂
I know!!

I think this is another reason why I haven’t flagged it up yet because how do you say things like this in RL without sounding awful, even if it is the truth.

I know of 2 people who’ve become unintentionally pregnant at 50 and one at 48, so I know it definitely does happen.

What you're describing is 2 pregnancies within 6 months of being sexually active for a woman "in her 50s" (so she's a fair bit older than 50).

No, that does not happen.

And if any of it does happen to be true...the only reason you could be possibly be so bothered is because this good looking, young man with a fit body was attracted to B rather than you

If I was jealous then why would I start an entire thread about my concern for her and thinking he has bad intentions?!

And you're implying that the people around her actually believe this story. That the man in his 20s is genuinely trying for a baby with her. Utter bullshit.

Are you male or female, OP?

What you're describing is 2 pregnancies within 6 months of being sexually active for a woman "in her 50s" (so she's a fair bit older than 50).

No, that does not happen.

As I said it’s not for me to call someone a liar and I wouldn’t do so officially.

If I do raise a concern I will mention them trying for a baby and the apparent miscarriage simply because it affects the daughter but not my opinion around whether it was said to keep him interested or whatever.

I’m female.

You need to educate yourself about your own body then.

This is nonsense:

I do believe she had one miscarriage..... as in didn’t get her period one day

A late period isn't a miscarriage. If you're a woman, that is something you should probably know already.

You need to educate yourself about your own body then.

There’s no need to be rude.

I personally wouldn’t class a miscarriage as anything before 8 weeks but other women do.

I felt that she had simply missed her period but I did not ask her details of when her last period was or how many tests she had taken etc as I wouldn’t ask any women that as it’s none of my business.

She said she had a miscarriage.
Whether she was telling the truth or not, I don’t know.

OK, let's pretend any of this is true. You've mentioned in your first post that your only concern was looks and age then drip fed little tidbits that really do make it sound like both the woman and her children are vulnerable. You've intimated you wanted other people's opinions before considering highlighting IRL.

Who are you going to mention this to IRL and what exactly are you going to highlight - the fact that a very vulnable woman in her 50s and her teenage DC is potentially being taken advantage of/exploited or that you just don't generally want a young attractive, able bodied man to be involved with an older non-attracive, disabled woman. None if it rings true I'm afraid, OP. And even if it is, your reasoning around it all makes you sound like an arse, at best

@Noteverybodylives I personally wouldn’t class a miscarriage as anything before 8 weeks but other women do.

Really? Sticking to my opinion that you're an arse

Every post is more ignorant than the last.

OP - when I said "a late period isn't a miscarriage", I wasn't referring to some bizarre (and offensive) 8-week rule.

I was referring to the fact that a late period does not necessarily mean there has been a fertilised egg (pregnancy) at all. Especially if we're talking about a woman of menopause age!

Women going through the menopause don't have regular periods. In fact, lots of women of all ages don't have regular periods, for lots of reasons.

Like I said, you seem curiously unaware of female biology.

None if it rings true I'm afraid, OP. And even if it is, your reasoning around it all makes you sound like an arse, at best

That’s fine, you don’t need to believe me.

I asked for opinions and I got them and admitted I was BU.

As I’ve said multiple times, I have no physical evidence that there is any wrong doing going on here.
I have said it just doesn’t sit right with me.

The only thing I really have is the age gap
and opposites in looks - which as PPs have confirmed is not something of a concern.

I can mention that mum is trying for a baby with a man she barely knows but that on its own is not a big deal and as PPs have said is unlikely to come of anything anyway.

Not sure why you guys are so obsessed with late periods/miscarriages.

When I lost mine before 8 weeks I didn’t class it as a miscarriage - that’s not for anyone else to judge me and how I deal with my own body.

When another women has said she’s had a miscarriage (whether true or not) - it’s not for me or anyone else to call her a liar and say she didn’t have one, when none of us know.