To wonder what you advised your failing children to do for careers?

[lennypenny]

If your child was failing in school due to not being very academic or simply just average; what did you advise them to do for their futures (not including trades)?

Any stories of how they still managed to build a successful life for themselves or are they in low paid, unfulfilling work?

@FatAgainItsLettuceTime , I’m really not sure that my DD is demonstrating any aptitude for IT, apart from the fact that her bum will shortly fuse to her bedroom carpet if she spends any more time on her phone, laptop or iPad! Thanks so much for your response; DD has a specialist access laptop part-funded by a charity for blind and partially sighted young people. She does keep getting emails asking her to participate in research studies for new apps etc.

DD IS a very talented digital artist (she has won a national competition in the last year or so) so I’m hoping that this could be a career option for her.

OP.
I really don't understand you.
One moment you say your son is failing.
Then he is in top set for maths
Then he has already passed 2 GCSEs.

Maybe the pace in top set is too fast, and he would be better off in set 2 - have you asked school or explained he is needing a tutor to keep up?

You have jumped onto apprenticeships but seemingly ignored BTECs. Have you even looked at BTECs and the large variety on offer?

You keep talking about A level maths, but there are loads of A levels that aren't maths.

Your DS needs a plan A, a plan B and a plan C. Apply for all of them.

One of my parents friends son wasnt university material but he was vvvvv practical and bright and did an apprenticeship in a garage (he left school aged 16) and got into an area of this which is vvv specialist.....he earns better money than his university educationed brother and has bought his house outright now. He very happy with lots of friends and very active social life as he volunteers as a scout leader as he stayed in local area.

Hi there thank you for your post. I never actually said my son was failing. However I know it's a very competitive world out there and if he is average or a bit above average I wanted to hear how other parents have/would encourage their children.

Unfortunately my DS will not leave his school to go to college and do BTEC. If the school have some options I will definitely encourage him to consider these too.

I absolutely do not see children as failures. As everyone has pointed out people have strengths and weaknesses in many different things. When so said failing I meant failing exams because you either pass or fail them.

My DS is not practical at all and would never suit a trade, although I think it is a great option for children who show an aptitude for them.

You see a lot of posts on Mumsnet about their children who are 1st degree Russell Group, treble a* at A level kids. So I wanted to know order people's children have done when they don't fit that mould and the competition out there is fierce.

I would never make my DS think he was a failure and want him to achieve his potential.

What options are available for girls?

Are there any trades for girls.

Traditionally hair and beauty/ care are very low paid.

@Rowthe this is the 21st century.
Our go-to local painter and decorator business is all-female. Last time we had a home appliance break down the engineer sent by bosch for diagnosis and repain was female. You can be female in any trade you wish. A willy is not a required piece of anatomy for changing fuses, unblocking drains etc.

Well, most tradespeople are self employed with a Ltd company so pretty much running a business. There are plenty of trades that, don't require much physical strength. Electricians, plumbers, etc, can definitely be female.

Unfortunately my DS will not leave his school to go to college and do BTEC.

Why on earth not if it is the best option for him?

There are BTECs in all sorts of things (e.g. event management, applied science, computing).

Presumably school has entrance requirements to do A levels. If he is going to meet those requirements he can do A levels, if not then he will have to do something else.

This thread is bizarre.

My DS was average academically. My DH and I are both teachers. We encouraged him in his hobby when he was younger. My DH now works for him as well as teaching part time. We are very proud of DS he is doing really really well!

I've long felt that being good at exams/school gives you the ability to defer choosing an employment area .

Has always felt wrong that if you don't want or have the exam results to go on to HE there's more pressure to commit to a career at a younger age .

My advice would be to pursue what they enjoy and what they’re good at.
My DD was an excellent swimmer, which led her to weekend/holiday jobs as a pool lifeguard and teaching swimming. It also kindled an interest in first aid which led her to do a nursing degree.
She’s now a band 6 A&E nurse, which despite all its challenges, she’s extremely good at.

Well I already get them involved when I'm doing any DIY.

We'll see what happens

Working in the construction sector I find it heartening to see young people earning a decent wage and having financial autonomy at a young age.

So many students are still like teenagers in their early 20s, living off pot noodles and getting wasted at every available opportunity, when young tradespeople are often already settled and renting their own place. And of course a lot of students then move back home again.

I'm not against students BTW. I'm a graduate myself.

This has made for very interesting reading for me!

Very heartening and encouraging.

@Rowthe My parents have been using female painters and decorators my whole life and I'm 36. I remember being really tiny - maybe 3 or 4 - and watching my DM and her decorator, Faith, debating over whether the Border should go at the top of the wall or round the middle. it was 1989!

OP - My DF has made more money than my DM for years. She's a teacher and he's in catering/hospitality. He left school at 14 and ended up training as a chef in his early 20s in big hotels in Europe - learned a few languages that way. Then was a bar and restaurant manager. When I was born he was Maitre'D of a fancy restaurant and made enough for my DM to be a SAHM for a few years. When he retired a few years back he was head of Food and Beverage for big conferences. All without any formal education beyond 14.

Sales or business development if they have the personality for it. Choose something you are interested in. Look for ways in other than uni like working in retailers. My. Oh did this. I have lots of qualifications and he earns almost double I do. He works for an upmarket drinks brand.

@lennypenny

I started as an IT Analyst and have furthered my career in IT

I don't have a maths GCSE. Never understood it and still don't. Looking at my sons Maths homework has me pulling my hair out

With the right attitude to willingness to work hard he will succeed in most sectors

Apparently not!

Id start by not describing them as failures.

Average by definition is not failing.

By far the most successful people from my year group were those who were not academic and either started their own businesses or have trades.

Average by definition is not failing.

It is on Mn, it’s a bit Hyacinth Bucket, if the career doesn’t look good on paper then it’s not worth it.

Or super intelligent but just not good at memorising pointless information in order to pass exams!

Or the most intelligent but just not good at memorising pointless information in order to pass exams