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Original poster

To wonder what you advised your failing children to do for careers?

174 replies

lennypenny · 09/10/2022 19:06

If your child was failing in school due to not being very academic or simply just average; what did you advise them to do for their futures (not including trades)?

Any stories of how they still managed to build a successful life for themselves or are they in low paid, unfulfilling work?

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 09/10/2022 21:02

There ate some very good apprenticeships out there. You just need to find what interests your child.

It's not all about academic achievement and many non academics do very well in life.

user1471554720 · 09/10/2022 21:02

What happens girls who are not academic? They don't have the strength for most trades. Shops, beauty, caring can be badly paid unless they are prepared to open their own business.

Clarinet1 · 09/10/2022 21:04

ChampagneCamping · 09/10/2022 20:48

School just measures very limited types of intelligence. There are many different types of intelligence as outlined here …. psychology-spot.com/types-of-intelligence/

results also depend on effort and interest. Many find that school doesn’t rock their boat and only find motivation to study when doing something they love.

take your child to a careers advisor in your local college and let them explore possibilities and strengths. They will have lots of questionnaires, links to training and courses, strengths finders

I was about to say something similar to this. Career success and earning potential along with
satisfaction and contentment and not necessarily dependent on academic knowledge and exams. A lot of it depends on personality factors; Is the person a people person? Are they organised? Are they instinctive? If your DS is set on accountancy or similar, these could be the kind of factors that determine the best route for him.

Whatacarryonthisis · 09/10/2022 21:06

I had shit grades at school did an apprenticeship ended up in it i earn 3 figures
encourage your child to find what they are good at, that doesn’t need to be a cede mix

MakkaPakkas · 09/10/2022 21:07

I think you need to re-frame it. The child is not failing if they aren't doing well at a narrow range of academic subjects. If they've heard this they may need their confidence boosting. What are they interested in? What are they good at?
My DS is clever but very dyslexic and dyspraxic. He is now doing pretty well at academic stuff (he's only 14) due to the adjustments he gets at school (writing on a laptop etc) but I encourage him to try out anything he finds interesting.

Whatacarryonthisis · 09/10/2022 21:07

A cede mix = academic
stupid autocorrect

DashboardConfessional · 09/10/2022 21:08

Dunno. I have a languages degree from a very good uni and I work in financial services admin because there's more to life than work.

Sometimes you just work your way up. I started as a customer services temp and ended up as Assistant Buyer in fashion retail. Ducked out when Covid looked like it was going to firebomb retail.

SmallestInTheClass · 09/10/2022 21:08

There are great apprenticeships for the jobs you mention. I'm a qualified accountant and have mentored some fantastic people. One is now a Finance Director. No point in going to Uni if you're not academic when you can get work experience in the real world, be earning money. And if you don't like it, try something else. Pretty much no school leavers now will have only one job/career in their lifetime. I'm on my 40s and about half of my friends are on at least 2nd if not 3rd or 4th career.

Flockameanie · 09/10/2022 21:09

My sister failed all her O levels and left school at 16. I got straight As and have three degrees. Guess which one of us is earning 6 figures (in a career they love and are very good at)?

Wickedgreengirl · 09/10/2022 21:14

Apprenticeship all the way, the range these days is fantastic and not just limited to trades. We have an apprenticeship on offer for a legal assistant where I work.

Rhekdifn · 09/10/2022 21:19

Tbh, he sounds like he is capable but struggles at maths. I am wondering if he's better at English instead.

Nevertheless, I would say go with apprenticeships instead (no trades). I was doing an internship but couldn't afford to carry on with it. There are IT and finance trades.

I know everyone says they're crying out for trades, but I think you're right, OP; not everyone person suits it. The men in my family have learnt a trade with mixed results, but those that have done well are very, very extroverted.

My sibling got 12 A's to C's in GCSEs, and they've struggled ever since; I'm retraining now and about to graduate in my late 20's, and I 'should' be in a better place, but I won't count my chickens. If he does end up wanting to go to University, make sure you check how good the employability is, but if not, make sure he gets a suitable apprenticeship too.

Snugglemonkey · 09/10/2022 21:20

I have two brothers who did not follow the academic route. Both have trades. Both make more money than me despite me having an excellent education. One is talking retirement from his business, which he can leave others to run. He is 40.

MrsCarson · 09/10/2022 21:23

I have one who's not as academic of my three. I told them all the same. Find something to do for work at that you love/enjoy doing, you'll be doing it for a very long time.
My least academic still managed an NVQ in business and hated the work after and is now doing a more manual job for the council. So he'll find his feet it just takes longer for some.

Original poster
lennypenny · 09/10/2022 21:26

Namenic · 09/10/2022 20:19

OP - I think you are right that A level maths (at secondary school) will likely be too hard if he struggles with gcse. The door would always be open to do it as an adult if he found he needed it and got more confidence in it.

I don’t think he has to give up on accountancy if he doesn’t have a level maths though - I think there are some entry level AAT qualifications that he can do - eg book-keeping (look it up online). So he can build up from there? I know someone who did an accountancy apprenticeship with one of the big 4 accountancy firms (no uni degree).

That sounds like a good plan.

OP posts:
Glendaruel · 09/10/2022 21:28

Remember talking to a young lad in army. He was about to leave the REME after 5 years and said he was glad he joined. While his friends from school were still unemployed or minimum wage he was returning home with a driving license that covered him to drive any type of vehicle and he already had job offers with good wage. Not for everyone, but kids often find there own path.

GreenFly56 · 09/10/2022 21:29

Loads of the big banks do school leaver apprenticeships now and if he really wanted to do accountancy then he could do that while working as a funded study.

For me, i was average or maybe slightly below average at school. I scraped my way into a below average uni - when i went, it had only just taken uni status either that year or the one before. It was a previous poly. I finished uni with a 2:2 and work in a similar banking Dept to accounting. I didnt walk out of uni into a bank, i took some similar jobs in smaller companies where i got a good degree of experience. Im in my early 30's and happy with how my career is progressing.

namechange3394 · 09/10/2022 21:30

So your "failing child" is actually in top set maths, and is just struggling with today's homework?

landyland · 09/10/2022 21:31

I work with loads of IT salespeople who earn crazy money (lawyer money) and they are, to a person, not very academic/clever - most been to so called second tier (ex poly) unis or ex army. They do have a certain cunning/strength of character though.

LittleChilliBean · 09/10/2022 21:35

I have a degree in English Language and have QTS at masters level. My partner didn't complete university for various reasons and he now earns (at least) double what I earn.

He left a long term, minimum wage job during the pandemic and started at the lowest level in his workplace and has worked himself up.

I would never think that qualifications are the most important thing now.

goshdoyoumeantobsorude · 09/10/2022 21:35

7 grade c gcse's and 3 failed a'levels here, earning about £150k. Get life experiences.
Find an organisation where they can progress. Do every job to the best of their ability and take every opportunity.
And as a parent have more faith in them.

Vegay · 09/10/2022 21:37

Not sure why you are excluding trades? I went to university twice. My dp never went to university. He earns 3x more than my, above average, salary.

Original poster
lennypenny · 09/10/2022 21:39

Reading all these experiences is so interesting.

I was telling another parent about people I know that weren't academic and left school at 16 and ended up doing really well. She really poo pooed it and said that just doesn't happen anymore! She was complaining that she wants her son to do a BTEC or something like that as he is lazy and won't suit uni. I was saying it to be encouraging but she thought that was a thing of the past.

OP posts:
PeekAtYou · 09/10/2022 21:40

Average isn't a problem imo.

My dc1 is intelligent but lost interest in school during secondary. He scraped enough passes so he doesn't need to worry about qualifications.

After GCSEs he got a part-time job and his work attitude was the complete opposite of achool. He took up every training opportunity and qualification that the company pays for and was offered an apprenticeship. He completed it at age 20 and his wage went up to 30k.

His uncle was also similar at school but at age 30 manages to combine work with travel in Asia. He has an incredible Instagram of his adventures- I don't mean flashy stuff but having experiences like street food in Vietnam and chatting to the snake charmer when he was in India.

bloodywhitecat · 09/10/2022 21:41

DS 'failed'at school despite being an intelligent boy. He had a late diagnosis of autism, dyspraxia and dysgraphia which made his school life difficult. He did a BTEC in Animal Management at college and did well. He went on to work in a local vet's referral centre for a while before becoming a falconer. He had always said falconry was what he wanted to do in life but no one really thought he'd get there. He is now 30, manages a falconry centre and is making a name for himself in the world of birds of prey.

EmmaH2022 · 09/10/2022 21:43

My sister and best friend did badly at school. They are in their 50s now and I know the world has changed...but they are in similar lines of business to me. One in mgmt for a tech co, one for a business strategy org.

one started in an office job and just went from there, no degree.

the other started an office job, was encouraged by a mentor to do HND I think, then from there did a business degree. We now think she would be diagnosed with dyslexia and other learning needs.

but they are in exactly the same place as me, or better, and I was academic. I think things change a lot after school, which does not suit many children.

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